


Holy crap.

by Ziamln



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam Milligan and Sam Winchester are Twins, Adam Milligan is a Winchester, Alternate Season/Series 15, Alternate Universe, Amara is chill, Archangel Castiel (Supernatural), Baby Winchesters (Supernatural), Bobby Singer Deals With Idjits, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Canon Rewrite, Canon-typical levels of poor decision-making, Caring John Winchester, Castiel & Michael Friendship (Supernatural), Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Chuck Shurley Being an Asshole, Crowley (Supernatural) & Dean Winchester Friendship, Crowley (Supernatural) Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dead Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester as The Darkness, Depressed Dean Winchester, Dramatic Dean Winchester, Emotionally Constipated Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Smut, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Evil Chuck Shurley, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Family Secrets, Gates of Hell, Grumpy Romantic Dean, Hunter Dean Winchester, Jack Kline & Sam Winchester Friendship, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Man of Letters Sam Winchester, Married Jody Mills/Bobby Singer, Mary Winchester is Adam Milligan's Parent, Michael Possessing Adam Milligan, Minor Character Death, Minor Crowley/Billie (Death), Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Minor John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Minor Michael/Adam Milligan, Mpreg, Nephilim, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural), Pregnant Demon, Pregnant Jessica Moore, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Michael, Protective Sam Winchester, Righteous Man Dean Winchester, Ruler of Hell Crowley (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam and Adam are non identical twins, Sam as The Light, Season 13 Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion, Seraph Castiel (Supernatural), Slightly Dark Sam Winchester, Slow Build, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Suicidal Dean Winchester, Tags Contain Spoilers, The Empty (Supernatural), The Impala (Supernatural), The Universe Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Uncle Crowley (Supernatural), Uncle Dean Winchester, Uncle Sam Winchester, Winchester stupid, Young John Winchester, Young Mary Winchester, implied Crowley/Billie, samwitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-21 11:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 74
Words: 81,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20693099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziamln/pseuds/Ziamln
Summary: Basically this is a really conveniently different AU to the show.Cas died and Dean is sad.Lucifer killed Mary.Sam and Rowena are a thing.Crowley didn't die bc Mary did.It's a mess, but a good one.DAILY UPDATES





	1. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really sorry about how shitty this is, but I was literally rewatching 12x23 and then crying about how supernatural is ending soon whilst writing this so once again, I'm sorry.

Destroyed. 

That was the aptest word for how Dean felt right now. In a matter of moments, he had lost everything.  


First, he had watched his mother get killed by Lucifer, she had entered the portal without the brothers realising and taken a shot at Lucifer, whilst Dean protested, being dragged out of that hell of a world by Crowley.  


Next, was certifiably the worst of all.  
His glimmer of hope came shining through, Cas glanced at Dean as he stepped out of the closing portal... only to be pulled back and stabbed by a hand Dean could only presume was Lucifer's before the portal finished closing up.  
"NO!!!" Was all he could yell as he watched the light fade from the angel's eyes.  


Just like that, it was all over. Any dream he saw of an even remotely happy future he could've had was gone. 

Cas was gone.  
Yes, the death of his mother had deeply saddened him, but he had gone for years without her and even when she came back things weren't great so he tried to make peace with the fact she was gone, again- he knew it would take time but he could do it, eventually.  
But to lose Cas moments later. That killed him. 

Dean wanted nothing more than to be in place of his mother right now. At least he wouldn't have to think of living a life without Cas in it. What was the point?  


He was everything, he was Dean's best friend, he was all he had other than Sam.

Crowley had managed to drag Sam out but Dean was a more difficult task, especially when he saw his Angel had entered into the portal.  
“CAS?! CAS?! CAS!” He yelled after him as he saw the angel lunge toward Lucifer, to avenge Mary.  
Before he had a chance to see anything else Crowley had dragged him out.

Sam stood there in disbelief at what had just befallen. Once again, he had his mother torn from him before he even truly got to know her. Yes, they had spent some time together over the past year, but how could a year ever be enough for someone who hadn’t had the chance to know their mother at all? Still, he was grateful that he had even that considering it was more than a normal person in his situation would get, it didn't make it hurt any less. 

Dean stood there with Sam and Crowley at each shoulder waiting in silence for a sign that the angel would return, he couldn't bring himself to move.  


‘C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon!’ Dean repeated in his mind, he couldn’t leave things the way they were with the angel, they needed time to work things out like they always did. He needed time to tell Cas he wasn't mad at him, he had just been out of his mind with worry for him. 

All of a sudden the portal began to flicker, and out he came, a look of relief on his face.  
The three men waiting for his return all sighed with ease upon his return.  
‘Cas.’ Sam had said with a small smile on his face.  


Dean had never felt such relief, followed by such dread moment later, as the portal began to close a hand yielding a much too familiar blade had reached out piercing through the angel's chest. 

Dean could have sworn he felt that in his own chest.  


The portal finally closed leaving Lucifer trapped and the three of them stood there in shock as Cas’ lifeless body lay there before them, wings etched into the ground below. 

Dean had seen this with other angels before, but nothing had ever quite hit him as hard as this.

Sam didn't know what to do with himself, feeling the loss of his mother and his friend at once was a lot to comprehend. All of a sudden the sonance coming from the house came into focus for him, he looked between his devastated brother and the light flashing from inside the house, deciding it was best to leave his brother for a moment with the angel and go and tend to the Nephilim that was being born.

Crowley stood there for a moment, shocked, almost feeling some form of… sorrow regarding the angel. He too decided it was best to leave Dean for a moment alone with the angel, he somewhat grasped how much Castiel meant to Dean and decided it was best not to say anything, instead opting to go and find his mother to help Sam with Kelly giving birth.

Dean looked where Castiel lay, it was almost as if the angel were in some kind of peaceful slumber, he looked so serene, but the wings scorched into the ground below and the fact that Castiel never slept gave it away. He felt his body weakening and his knees hitting the ground, not being able to withstand the weight of his grief, he lamented silently. Not knowing how to process what lay before him.

Nothing mattered anymore. Not Lucifer, not Jack, not even his mom. 

His best friend, his angel was dead.

Cas was dead.


	2. ‘Family don’t end in blood.’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is sad,  
Dean is real bad.  
And Crowley is mad?
> 
> !!!!SPOILER!!!!!
> 
> [SPOILER: if you want Cas back already, skip to chapter 13]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its a bit ummm...  
But yeah i just wanted to get in a bit about the others bc this is going to be really focused on Dean and Cas.

Sam was not okay.  


At the time it all happened, it was a blur.  


Sam and Dean had gone into that world to trap Lucifer and stop him once and for all, from doing any more damage than he had already done, alternatively, all he had ended up with was a dead mom and an even more dead angel friend.  
His mother had been taken away from him once again by Lucifer, sure the first time it wasn’t directly lucifer but it was one of his disciples, so it equated to it being Lucifer anyway.  


He had only just managed to get to a stage of being quite close to her; it had started off quite awkward between them. Dean had memories with Mary, Sam didn't and Mary found it hard enough to cope with the fact that her sons were grown up and essentially like strangers to her. Soon enough though, he and Mary had begun forming a bond that filled a huge hole Sam had felt his entire life. But thanks to Lucifer, it was all taken away too soon.  


He wanted to scream, to cry and break something but he knew he had to stay strong.  
To add to that Sam had just witnessed his close friend being killed by Lucifer. But arguably worse than that was seeing what it had done to his brother.  
He knew Dean wouldn't cope well with the fact that their mom was dead because even though they bickered a lot, they were still close because Dean had more memories with her than Sam ever did. But now, more than Sam ever would and it truly broke his heart.  


Every woman Sam had ever loved, be it platonic or romantic. All of it would go to shit. He was so afraid of losing her that for a while he couldn't allow himself to grow attached, and then when he finally had, she was gone. 

Sam had looked between Cas' lifeless body, Dean and back at the flickering lights in Kelly's room. He could see the utter heartbreak plastered on Deans face as he looked down at the angel laying on the ground, lifeless. He thought it best to give Dean a moment with his angel and that he should go and check on Kelly. 

There weren't many things that truly shocked the King of Hell, but what had just occurred in a matter of moments had.  


One minute he was ready to sacrifice himself for the Winchesters so that Lucifer would never bother them again- he really hadn't seen that one coming...  
The next, Sam Winchester, of all people, had somehow managed to anticipate what Crowley was going to do and had talked him out of it by convincing him that they would simply grab one of the inhabitants of the doomed place and kill them instead. Well, that had been the case until his mother had practically served herself up to Lucifer in a fatuous attempt to kill him. 

Then, of course, there was the exceptionally difficult task of getting Dean off that dirtball once his precious angel, Castiel had come through the portal at the very last minute and gone straight up to Lucifer in a hapless endeavour to avenge Mary and annihilate the devil. 

Perhaps the thing that shocked him most was actually the death of Castiel. Granted, he had died before, but this one he couldn't help but feel it was on more of a permanent scale.  
Truthfully, after spending all that time over the years with the boys, be it working with them or trying to kill them, he'd developed a type of sentiment towards them. It almost sickened his cold, dead heart to admit, but the angel's death had caused him a meagre hint of melancholy.  


That and taking one look at Dean knowing exactly what state he'd be in for the rest of well- ever.  


He hadn't deemed it wise to say anything to the broken hunter and instead set upon the task of finding his mother to see if she could be of any help with either the birth or poor dead Castiel. 

Rowena couldn't do anything for Castiel, much to Dean's chagrin. But thankfully she had with Kelly.  


Sam was inexplicably appreciative when Rowena had taken over with helping Kelly give birth. He felt as though his head was going to explode from having to process so much all at once. It was almost like Rowena could somehow read the pain he was in because he hadn't ever seen the witch so solemn, at least not since Chuck had been dying. 

Regardless, he had appreciated it beyond words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though this story is meant to mainly focus on Destiel I do wanna include some chapter with the others featured a bit more, for context and bc i love them.


	3. And now you’re gonna bring him back. Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll get better at some point.

Dean had lingered on the ground next to Cas for what seemed like hours just waiting, silently begging even for the Angel to so much as twitch.  


Cas couldn't be dead.  


It was Cas.  


No. 

No, Cas needed to wake up so Dean could yell at him for being such a dumbass by going after Lucifer like that.  


The minutes floated by, still nothing.  


“Cas. Please.” Dean begged, voice breaking, almost in tears aching to touch the angel, but not being able to bring himself to do so.

He shook off the unshed tears, finally mustering the strength to get up and go to check on his brother inside the house.  


He, along with the others, wasn't quite prepared for what he saw upon entering the bedroom.  


In the corner of the room sat a fully grown male, a fully naked fully grown male with glowing amber eyes.  
Dean's instant reaction was to pull out his gun, Sam yelled “No!” trying to get the man to stop, to no avail. Instead, Dean took it upon himself to shoot at the thing.  
Jack in his fright yelled, causing everything to slow down and then be violently pushed back, knocking the four out.

Cas was there, he was stood outside the house with Dean, now smiling at him.  


As he went to ask him what was going on all of a sudden Cas' body began to disintegrate right in front of Dean's eyes, before he had a chance to react he was awoken by Sam staggering to his feet.  


It was now morning. Dean looked around suddenly the events of the evening before hitting him like a truck. His mother was dead, Kelly was dead. Cas was-

The kid. What happened to the kid?  


“Where the hell’s the kid gone, does he have wings?” he questioned Sam and now Rowena as she got up.

He got up quickly off the floor making his way to the car to go and find the kid, figuring that if by some luck he didn’t have wings he couldn’t have gone far, perhaps just made it to the nearest town. 

“Jack is at Jolly Pete’s” Crowley stated appearing right in front of an exasperated Dean.  


“Crowley, we don’t have time for your games, either tell us straight up where the kid is or go.” He knew he was being harsh, but right now he didn’t care, not about Crowley, not about himself, not even truly about the kid. He just wanted to make sure the kid didn't kill anyone in the time it took for himself to get to him and end him.  


“I am trying to help. Like I told you, the kid is at Jolly Pete’s- the fast food place?” He reiterated, genuinely surprised Dean didn't know the fast food place considering the amount of garbage he classed as food.  
Dean rolled his eyes and went to get in the car whilst Sam curtly nodded at Crowley silently apologising for his brother's behaviour.

“Dean,” Sam said trying to get his brothers attention.  


“Can we at least take a second to talk about what happened?” He said gently.  
Dean hated it, he knew that Sam was being soft about it and he didn't want that because it would make it even more real.  


“What? What about it? Mom's dead, Kelly is dead and Cas is-” he had to stop himself because he didn't have the stomach to say it. “Oh and apparently the devil's kid hit puberty in 30 seconds- Oh and almost killed us” he deadpanned.  


“Yeah because you tried to shoot him, Dean.” Sam stated “We need a plan Dean, Not to go in all guns blazing.” he continued.  


“No, we find him. Then we end him before he gets a chance to hurt anyone else.” He said, thinking of Cas.  


“What about Cas?” Sam inquired, almost like he had read Dean's mind. “Is he really-?”  


“You know he is.” Dean returned flatly.

“Either way. I think it's best if I go looking for Jack. The way you’re acting right now, it's not going to help find him and bring him back.” Sam deliberated, much to Deans annoyance.  


“What? You think I'm about to let you go out and look for the spawn of satan by yourself? No friggin way.” He retorted. He wasn’t about to lose his brother because of the kid as well.

Before he was able to add to that Sam added “I won't be alone, I’ll have Rowena and Crowley” much to their and Dean’s surprise.  


“What now you tru-” Dean started before being cut off by Sam  


“Dean, don't even try and argue with me on this, just give me the keys.” He affirmed.  


Dean didn’t have the energy to argue with his brother so he just furiously threw the car keys at him and watched them as they drove off, not quite knowing what to do with himself.  


Truthfully, he wasn't ready to be left alone. It meant that he would have time to think.  


It would make everything real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters are quite short, but it means i can post more often hopefully.  
I've planned out the next few chapters. I know I've uploaded for the past few days quite consistently, but I'll start on weekly intervals as uni gets busier.  
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment on any issues x


	4. Him? Really? Are we that desperate?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might make Wednesday or Friday my upload day, I can't decide.

Dean was desperate.

Having moved his best friends lifeless body from the outside, onto a table indoors. It had truly broken him.  


He laid down Cas' body carefully on the table. Observing him for some small hope. 

Maybe they could bring him back? Maybe there was still a chance.  


It was taking everything in him to just stand at the moment. Tears threatening to spill every time he thought of Cas, the moment replaying over and over in his head.  
It was driving him crazy, feeling Cas slip from him like that, not even a second to utter a word to him- he was trying so hard to hold on.  
They hadn't even had the chance to talk through his disappearance, Dean had just brushed around the subject simply stating they could 'sort through our crap another time'.

But now there was no time.

No chance.

No words.

He needed something. After all, he had lost over the years- and now Cas, he just needed something, anything.  


The person he would pray to at his lowest was no longer in hearing distance. He let out a bitter chuckle thinking of Cas when he said ' I always come when you call' it was true. 

The only other thing he could think of to bring back Cas was Chuck. Yes, he wasn't fond of the guy but he just needed to try, he was prepared to try anything to bring Cas back.  


So he did. Dean Winchester prayed.  


It wasn't your conventional begging for mercy prayer, no.  
It was more of a "You owe us you sonofabitch" because, truthfully, he did.  


Dean almost allowed himself to cry. But he didn't. 

He stepped outside. Begging Chuck to bring Cas back, to bring his mother back. He had never felt so defeated.  


"You said the world would be fine because it had me and Sam, but it's not. We're not. We've lost everything." He almost crumbled under the truth of the weight of the words.  


But Dean knew there was no one there listening to him as Cas always would. So he resorted to punching the tree by the house. Maybe the pain in his hand would help dull the ache in his heart.  


As he turned to go back inside he saw an unfamiliar woman come out of the room Cas was in, heading towards him.  


"We all warned him. Told him, do not involve yourself with that older Winchester more than necessary, it'll be the end of you. But the poor idiot wouldn't listen. Insisted no he's the righteous man, he cares about me as I care for him. But now. Castiel is dead and I mean all the way dead. All because of you." She said lunging at him with her angel blade.  


Dean almost didn't want to stop her because what she said was right. It was his fault. He could blame the kid sure but if Dean had just done something then Cas wouldn't be gone. If he had pulled Cas forward into the embrace he'd wanted to give him, Lucifer's blade would never have touched the angel.   
But it was also the fact that the angel's words cut so deep that he found himself turning the blade on her and killing her instantly.  


He shouted in frustration not knowing what to do... Cas was really gone. 

They drove along the road in silence. Crowley said he'd be back in a moment and popped off leaving just Sam and Rowena.  


"Are you alright?" She questioned. "I'm sorry. That was a silly question. But if you do want to talk about it Sam, I'm here. I know I'm not Dean and we haven't always seen eye to eye. But what can I say, I've grown attached." She said in an attempt to lighten his mood.  


"Thanks, Rowena, that actually means a lot. It's been pretty rough but I'll work through it. I'm mostly just worried about Dean. He's a mess. I could tell the moment Cas' body hit the ground. Dean's reaction. They were close. Its gonna be a long road."  


Before Rowena got a chance to say much else Crowley was back.  
"So turns out the brat isn't at Pete's anymore. Best bet is the police station. One of the runts who works there says the kid got arrested for public indecency." Crowley chuckled quietly.  


Sam rolled his eyes at the giggling demon and instead started driving to the police station to gather information to see if Jack had been released.  
He hadn't expected his search to be so easy. There in a cell he sat, he got Crowley and Rowena to sort out his release whilst Sam went to talk to the kid. He was understandably hostile given what had occurred the night before.  


"I need to find my father he'll protect me," Jack said.  


"Yeah that's not really what Lucifer does..." he replied.  


"That's not his name. My father is Castiel. I chose him to be my dad." He corrected Sam.  


Sam was shocked, to say the least. He didn't know what to say to the kid. How do you tell a newborn… adult, that his 'dad' was dead because his actual dad who was the literal devil had killed him?  


He did attempt to do so, Jack was obviously upset but handled it with poise. He then took Jack, along with his two companions back to the house, nervous of what would be waiting when they got back to Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is being a bit drawn out, I just want to get the story flowing a bit.


	5. What my greatest sin was? Was how many times I let you down.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two more chapters until...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry x

Sam saw the unfamiliar dead body laying on the side.  


"Dude, what the hell happened?" He said scanning Dean's cut face and bruised hand.  


"Angels." He said. "Kid kill anyone yet?" He asked side-eyeing Jack who was talking to Rowena about something.  


Sam simply shook his head in exasperation.  
“Will you at least give him a chance Dean? The kid is scared to death of you.” Sam practically begged. "Anyway I feel like I should be asking you that question," he said gesturing his head toward the body.  


"Like I said. It was just some dick angel." He muttered not wanting to talk about the kid.  


Sam wasn't satisfied but he knew when to stop with Dean.  


"Dean are you sure there is nothing we can do about Cas?" Sam asked softly.  


'Castiel is dead. All the way dead. Because of you' Dean recalled the angel saying.  
"Yeah, Sam. He's-" he still couldn't bring himself to say it.  


Sam was worried about him. And gave him that sympathetic flash of a smile saying "What about praying? I me-"  


Dean cut him off angrily saying "What are you not hearing me? You think I haven't tried that already? The bastard ain't listening. He doesn't give a damn." Storming off toward the Impala.  


Sam was glad he had the keys at this point to stop Dean from doing something reckless.  


Dean realised this and instead just beat the steering wheel in frustration. 'Why?' Being the only thought he could comprehend.  


Again, Sam thought it best to leave Dean to it instead, taking Jack indoors to go and take a last look at Castiel before saying goodbye.  
Sam felt bad for the kid. He was truly almost like an innocent child. Not quite understanding the concept of death or pain. Quizzing Sam on what to do about it all.  


Rowena gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before entering the room. Cas lay there completely still. It was difficult for Sam to take in. The angel had been like a brother to him. He was always the voice of calm or the voice of reason when Dean was being the opposite. He'd helped them both out when they needed him the most. Hell, he'd even died for them. Here he was again, laying there. Lifeless, with so much yet left to do.

Jack was confused and scared. His father was dead and he was left with his friends. Sam was kind to him, but Dean, his father's most cherished friend, hated him and he didn't quite understand why. 

All he wanted was for Castiel to wake up. But even more than that he just wanted his mother.

By the time they came out of the room Dean had collected all the wood for and assembled a pyre for Castiel. 

It had been an exceedingly difficult task for Dean, almost breaking down at every stick he added to the pile wanting nothing more than to drive it through himself. He had always assumed that one day when his time was finally through Castiel would be the one doing this for Dean, never the other way round.

With trepidation, Dean entered the house and slowly made his way into the room.  


Everyone else waited outside making small talk between themselves giving Dean the time he needed to say his goodbyes as they all knew that the two men had always shared a 'more profound bond' as Castiel had put it.

There he lay, face covered.  


This wasn't real.  


Dean must be in some sort of nightmare.  


There were so many things he had left to say to the angel.  


He wasn't ready to say goodbye.  


Dean was prepared to do anything to get the angel back but nothing had the kind of juice to bring him back.  


'This is all my fault.’ Something he would never forgive himself for.  


He made his way to the other side of the table, slowly he peeled back the fabric he knew he had to at least get this right for Cas. He deserved so much better than what Dean had put him through.  


The unshed tears finally allowed themselves to roll down Dean's tired face.  


"Dammit Cas, you idiot." He whispered shakily.  


It took everything at that moment for him not to fall to his knees and lament.  


He hadn't ever seen the angel looking so blissfully peaceful.  


He looked… beautiful.  


'Oh.' He realised.


	6. I’ll just say it’s, uh, it’s not Candy Land.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' funeral

Carrying Cas’ body and putting it atop of the pyre had been an extremely harrowing process for Dean. 

Any and all strength Dean had left him. He didn’t care anymore, he was so tired, so over it all. He wanted nothing more than to be dead so he couldn’t feel anything at all.  


Watching it burn had been agonising. He listened to Sam and Jacks pathetic conversation about saying goodbye, hesitantly throwing the lighter into the wood.  


Another thing he hadn’t been able to say to the angel, and so he sarcastically chimed in,  


“Well then. Goodbye Cas, Goodbye Mom, Goodbye Kelly.” He expectorated.

Soon after Rowena and Crowley headed inside leaving the three boys outside.  


Rowena busied herself in the Kitchen. Crowley looked at her, a look of confusion plastered on his face.  


“Since when do you cook?” he questioned his mother.  


“I do cook on the rare occasion, Fergus. Plus those poor boys could probably use a home-cooked meal right now, what with how awful these last 2 days have been,” she returned.  


Rowena busied herself making a stew with what ingredients there were in the kitchen, genuinely feeling sympathy for the two hunters she once loathed.  


Crowley sat down at the table with a bottle of whisky in hand, making work of getting it drunk, even he was still processing what had gone on.

A while after Sam and Jack had joined them, both with a pained look on their face.  


Rowena had told them that dinner would be another half an hour. Jack took a seat at the table with Crowley whilst Sam went into the kitchen area.  


“I know its a stupid question, but are you alright Sam?” Rowena asked the significantly more towering man.  


“Thanks, Rowena, I’ll be okay, I just need time to deal with it, y'know? It’s a lot.” He responded, surprised by appreciative nonetheless of her concern.

Moments after Sam and Jack had left, Dean collapsed to his knees in front of the pyre. The heat was nearly intolerable, but not quite as unbearable as the prospect of having to go on with his life without his best friend in it.  


He wanted to scream until the heavens quaked.  


Dean just ached for all the pain to be gone.  


Above all else, he craved to be gone.

He just sojourned there, sobbing silently as the evening slid into night. He watched as the fire burned, he watched as there was nothing left but the hot ashes of what used to be his Cas.

Tentatively, he reached out to the ashes of what was once his best friend, his angel. 

Without really thinking he got his flask out, tipping whatever was in there down his gullet, it burned, but not as much as the hot ashes scorched his hand as he lifted some of them setting them into his flask. He put the flask back in his pocket and cursed, cursed and until he couldn’t curse anymore.

Sam had watched through the curtains as Dean slumped to his knees at the pyre, it broke his heart to see his brother like this but there wasn't much he could do. He knew the way Dean felt about Cas, despite the fact he'd never admitted it outright.

He knew Dean wouldn't manage what had occurred well, but this was so much worse than what he had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched 12x23 again, it made this so much worse to write.


	7. Get in the damn car!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter bc s15 airs today and I'm not ready. I'm so sad :(

The days turned into weeks.  


Still, nothing changed for Dean. It was like he was trapped in an endless cycle of hurt and it wouldn’t let up.  


Sometimes he’d wake up in the middle of the night expecting Cas to be in his usual seat at the chair by the end of his bed reading a book he found or just staring at nothing, but he wasn’t.  


He had his own room next to Dean’s, but he only used it store his clothes and a few personal items because he didn't sleep, so he’d usually speak to Dean until the man fell asleep and the angel would just take up his position in the chair, almost like a nightguard.  


Dean had objected at first, but soon enough he found it comforting and he just expected it.  
Now he was in that room all alone every night and it killed him.

The journey back to the bunker had been a long-drawn one, for all of them, the car was getting confined, it had been about four hours, the five of them sat in the car in silence, Sam occasionally shooting apologetic looks at Rowena and Crowley whilst Dean stewed in anguish and Jack stared out the window in awe of the world around him.  
They stopped at a motel to cut the journey in half on Sam’s insistence. Dean may not have slept much but Sam and even Rowena needed the sleep.  


Crowley had left at this point saying he would make sure no demons were to bother them, Dean was glad the man was on their side now, one less problem for him to deal with.  


Jack had fallen asleep on Dean’s bed before he got the chance to protest, instead of waking him up, he took himself out to go and get a drink to clear his mind of all thoughts- whether it worked or not, was subjective.  


There was only one other bed, Sam offered it to Rowena insisting he would just sleep on the sofa.  


“Don't be silly Sam, you take the bed, you're hardly gonna fit on that, that’d even be a squash for our Fergus,” she said, “We’re both grown adults I'm sure sharing the bed to sleep for one-night won't harm either of us,” she added, a small smile playing on her lips.  


Sam gulped at the prospect of sharing a bed with her. He knew nothing untoward could possibly happen with Jack being asleep on the bed next to them and the prospect of either Dean or Crowley showing up at any given moment, but for some reason, it did cause a feeling to rouse within him. Had he wanted something to happen?

He shook it off and simply thanked her before collapsing onto the bed, turning onto the side to make sure he left enough room for the smaller woman.  


Dean was slightly confused when he got back to the room, thankful that his brother hadn't put a blanket over himself, otherwise he may have had a few questions as to what exactly was going on with him sharing the bed with the witch.  


He never thought he’d have seen the say when Sam so much as spoke to the woman without wanting to kill her, and now here he was sleeping soundly next to the woman, the thought almost made him chuckle, almost.  
The booze hadn't lessened his pain or removed his painful thoughts. He just gave up sitting on the sofa staring at nothing in particular.

It hit him that he couldn't pray to Cas anymore because he wouldn't be there to hear him, once again tears threatening to spill.

The kid was proving Dean right, he was trouble- he could see right through him.  


Sam, however, couldn’t. The first incident was when Donatello had shown up the next morning in their motel room. Sam and Dean were arguing about Jack's powers, Sam thought the kid's powers could be used for good with Donatello practically backing his case saying the boy's powers weren't toxic. Dean, however, disagreed. Jack sat there as the two argued.  


Dean snapped saying “He's not God, he's not Simba and he's certainly not Cas- He's the frickin Devil!” as Jack flew off.  


Dean gave sam an ‘I told you so’ look when they turned around and the kid was nowhere in sight.  
Dean was truthfully just glad he was out of his sight.  


The smallest part of him did feel bad and wondered if Sam was correct and he was just a child.  


Sam was worried and went looking for him. Dean didn't object as it wouldn't do him any good if the kid hurt someone.  


But to Dean, he was the devil. He was the reason Cas was gone, the reason that fissure had opened and Jack's father had killed his mother.

Sam found Jack curled up on a step in an alley near the motel.  


Jack just wanted his mother. He hated how angry and sad everyone was, particularly Dean.  
He felt sorry for the kid, he looked so terrified. “Hey, Jack are you ok?” He asked.  


“I'm sorry, everyone was just so angry. I didn't want to be there anymore.” Jack responded.  


“And so you weren’t,” Sam continued.  


“Yeah, sorry…” Jack apologized.  


“Look Dean’s just hurting at the moment, he's trying to cope in his own way, and that's usually booze and anger, and not dealing with it.” He spoke, in an attempt to defend Dean and articulate his feelings.  
“I just want to protect you and that sometimes may mean protecting people from you- but I will look after you.” he added gently.

The second thing about the kid that had set off more alarm bells was the next morning when Sam and Rowena were doing research whilst he was driving and came across the fact that the kid would be stronger than Lucifer.  


“The Nephilim grows up to be stronger than their angel parent,” Sam stated, fascinated, looking up at Rowena who was equally as intrigued.  


Dean was in no way amused. If he had already caused so much trouble by just being born, how much more damage was he going to do?  
Sam knew what Dean was thinking, jumping to the kid's defence “Dude, chill out. Donatello and Rowena said his energy is pure, nothing like Lucifer.”  


Dean had simply rolled his eyes and got back to concentrating on the road ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.


	8. These kids today with their texting and murder.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're getting somewhere kids.

Once they got back to the Bunker, Sam had settled Jack into the room opposite his and tried to talk Dean into going easier on the kid.  


Dean saw it coming, simply saying “Goodnight.” as he left.  


Sam was tired of this.  
Rowena could see it in the man's eyes.  


He was worried about his brother but also growing increasingly frustrated with the man.  
Rowena placed her hand over his, causing a slight jolt to go through him. He didn't move away, however.  


“It’ll be ok, sweetheart.” She said as they both looked over their notes, enthusing to one another about the information they had gathered.  
Sam was glad she was on their side. Glad she was here. At the moment she was the only thing keeping him sane and he couldn't say he minded.

As an exasperated and exhausted Dean tentatively made his way over to his room, not before he heard stabbing noises coming from one of the rooms, he stopped outside slowly pushing the door open to reveal Jack with a large knife, driving it into himself repeatedly. Dean put his beer down on the side as he barged into the room, removing the knife from the boy's hand.  


He looked over his healing wounds questioning “What the hell?”  


“I know, what the hell?” Jack repeated.  


“That's not going to do anything to you,” Dean stated bluntly, Jack could hear the disappointment in Dean's voice.  


“I can't control myself, Dean.” He said referencing when he had pushed Donatello to the ground with his powers when he burst into their hotel room that morning almost hurting the man.  


“Look I know what Sam thinks. But I know you can't be saved. And I promise if it comes down to killing you. I’ll be the one to do it. No more of this nonsense.” He spoke darkly, waving the knife in Jack’s fearful face, before storming off.

The next morning, Jack awoke to Sam holding a laptop for the kid.  


“Here Jack, this was from your mother.” He said handing him a USB. “Just put it in that and press play when you’re ready.” He said smiling sympathetically at the boy.

Dean had been up for the majority of the night. He'd slept for a grand total of 20 minutes, like every morning, when he woke up he looked to the side of his bed and Cas wasn't there, so he just sat up listening to music and drinking beer. 

Sam was already in the kitchen sat with a cup of coffee and newspaper, offering Dean a cup when he walked in.  


Dean was confused when he looked up at the stove to see Rowena drowning in what appeared to be one of Sam’s t-shirts, that looked more like a dress on the tiny woman. Sam read Dean’s question as he turned to him.  


Sam cleared his throat “She doesn’t have any of her stuff here yet. So she borrowed one of my t-shirts.” he stated.  
Dean eyed him suspiciously. Sam seemed a bit on edge.  


Wait.  


“Yet?” Dean questioned.  


“Well yeah. It makes sense that she stays here with us. Especially if you want 24/7 surveillance on the kid. Plus her and Crowley, even though we’ve had our disagreements through the years, they’ve always come good when we needed them. I mean Crowley almost killed himself for us?! And if it wasn't for Rowena, you’d still be rotting with the Mark of Cain.” He stated, leaving Dean slightly speechless.

He wasn't wrong, at this point they were the closest thing he and Sam had to a family that hadn’t been taken from them.  
Dean just nodded giving his consent.

“So get this. I get a call this morning, guess who?” Sam said.  
“I dunno Sam?” Dean replied bluntly, not caring as he sipped his coffee.

“Missouri Mosely! She had a case for us, I called Jody, she’s taking care of it for us” he replied.

Dean was not impressed, scolding Sam for putting the woman in harms way unnecessarily.  


“What if something happens to her? Claire wouldn't have anyone, Cas- You’re an idiot. You can sit here and play babysitter for the antichrist but I'm gonna go do my job.” he blared angrily walking out leaving Sam alone with an equally shocked Rowena.

The hunt was a mess.  


He caught the wraith, but not quickly enough to save Missouri from her doom.  


Jody had asked him how he was, “Dandy.” had been his only response. Missouri had apologised for his losses and he had barely held it together as he hugged her.  


Jody could tell something was broken deep within him. He was quieter than usual, no snarky remarks or dumb jokes. Just silence and brooding.  
The factor that had really shown his deep-felt pain was when they were talking to Patience, Missouri’s granddaughter, telling her that she should ‘take normal’ over the hunting life,  


‘There's no joy in it, just pain and horror. So yeah, just go for normal.’ she obviously disagreed, but her heart broke for the man.


	9. I just need a win. I just need a damn win.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are startinggg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I apologise for how infrequent my uploads are but I'm emotional ok.

Sam and Rowena sat quietly over breakfast, unsure of what to say to each other.  


She simply told Sam she would go and get her things from the room she had rented and that she would be back in time for lunch.

After Dean and Jack had gone to bed last night, Sam and Rowena had continued their research into Nephilim.  


At one point Rowena couldn't reach something and so asked Sam to help her. He had reached over her accidentally pressing his whole body into hers. The tension between them was palpable, it had been for a while after all they had gone through together.  


He barely held it together as he looked down at the expression on the smaller woman's face.  


He felt a pull to her and he couldn't help himself as he leaned down to kiss her.  


He had no idea what he was thinking as he dragged her into his bedroom to have his way with her.  


It was safe to say both of them were rather shocked when they woke up tangled together the next morning, Rowena still being able to feel exactly what they had done last night, she couldn't say she minded though.

Sam was concerned about Jack at the moment though, despite him having given him his mother's message, he still seemed, on edge, even more so than usual.  


He was not impressed when he had learned, over lunch that it was due to Dean having threatened the Kids life.  
“He said it was my fault your mom is dead, that Cas is dead. That he would kill me,” Jack had whispered the last part, shaken.

Soon enough Dean had returned from the hunt, slightly bruised; not that he cared about that it was the least he deserved.  
Sam was waiting at the table for him expectantly as he walked in, he could tell by the look on the man's face he was about to get some type of lecture.  


“Kid go Darkside yet?” he asked, only agitating Sam further.  


“No, he's pretty messed up though.” He said, annoyed.

Dean made some dumb quip ‘You’re telling me’.  


“No Dean, he's messed up because of you.” almost like he had expected the man to care, but he didn't, at least not much, looking at him in confusion.  


Sam proceeded to ask him why he’d threatened the boy, slamming his fist on the table and Dean just dismissed him saying that's not how it went.  


Neither of them knew the Nephilim was stood in a corner listening to the exchange.  
Dean insisted he had simply just told the Nephilim the truth.  


“Because Dean, I know what it's like to be messed up,” Dean looked at him confused.  


“You and Cas got me through that. So why did you say you would kill him?” sam continued.  


“Because I know how this ends, it ends bad.” He said thinking about Cas.  


“I didn't- I didn't end bad when I was the 'freak' hooked on Demon blood,” Sam said rising to his feet.  


“C’mon man. That was totally different,” Dean said rolling his eyes.  


“No it's not Dean, you saved me; now help me save him.” Sam asked.  


“You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t.” Dean spat  


“Yes he does-” Sam said, being interrupted by Dean,  


“Why do you care so much? I can hardly look at the kid. When I do, I see everyone we’ve lost-”  


“Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack” Sam stated  


“What about Cas?!” Dean's point was clear.  


“What about him?” Sam questioned, wanting to know where his brothers head was at.  


“He manipulated him, promised ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it. And you know what that got him?" He began, his voice growing louder with each word.  


He drew in a breath before finally admitting, his voice breaking, "It got him dead."  


The tears threatened his eyes but he kept his resolve, continuing, "Now you may be able to forget about that but I CAN’T !” Dean yelled at his younger brother leaving the man shocked.  


It seems he really hadn't grasped the scale of how much Dean had been affected.  


Part of him almost felt guilty for having brought up the topic.

Crowley showed up in the midst of this, relaying his plan to shut the hell gates, not knowing what had just happened. He was a little surprised, to say the least when Dean had told him he didn’t care as he shoved past.

Jack had felt the pain Dean emitted when he finally spoke about Cas. 

He felt the anger, the pain flowing through his veins. It allowed him to understand the man a bit. It also caused him to beg for Castiel with his whole being. Just like Dean did every day and night. His eyes flickered gold as he spoke Castiel's name tuning out from the brother's conversation.  


He had no idea what he had just done.


	10. So I guess we have to ask ourselves, 'what is sane?'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CAS

Cas woke up.  


It was dark.  


Empty.  
He looked around in bewilderment, where was he, how had he gotten here?  
He was then hit with a wave of memories.  


Dean screamed after him.  
Lucifer had stabbed him.  
He had died.  


But now he was alive again. This was no unfamiliar feat for Castiel, but he didn't seem to be on earth, nor was he in heaven.  
‘Where exactly am I?’ He queried as he took in his surroundings.  


He thought to see if anyone was with him in this seemingly desolate and infinite void.  
“Hello?” he shouted a few times, getting no response.  


At least he thought.

Rowena busied herself looking for a spell, she didn't tell either of the brothers, sneaking out of her new room during the night, going to the extensive library to find the specific spell she was looking for.  


Those boys deserved something, Sam was filled with sadness, but he held his resolve, he couldn’t just drink it away like Dean tried and failed to do. She made a list of the books it could be in and decided she’d wait until the boys went out on a hunt.  


Luckily for her the next morning they did just that and they took Jack with them, leaving her with no one to distract her from her task.  
Making the bunker her new home definitely had its perks, she had access to some of the most powerful magic known to man and the idea excited her.

Sam had the idea to bring Jack along with himself and Dean, Dean hated the idea. But Sam had insisted and much to Dean's surprise it had gone relatively smoothly, at least it did, to begin with. Sam had gone off at him for treating Jack like an intern, but the less the kid was in his face, the better.  


Dean had Jack doing all the dirty work, like digging the grave, he was good for that at least. This hunt had unfortunately involved a shrink, who tried to analyse Dean, of course, naturally, he went off at her, she responded similarly telling him that being pissed at everyone wasn't helping anyone.

Jack, other than being yelled at by Dean, had learned a lot from them both on the hunt. 

What's burned stays dead, his thoughts went to Castiel when Sam had told him this when burning a corpse they had found. He found their line of work strange, but it was also fulfilling like they were heroes, he felt happy being able to help other people. He didn't like when Dean shouted at him so he listened carefully and took on board when Dean had told him to only speak when spoken to. 

Later on that evening when he was in the kitchen, Dean had come to get a beer, Jack tried to avoid his gaze not wanting to provoke the man, he was surprised when Dean had pulled him out a beer and told him he had ‘did good’ he beamed as the man left, sipping his beer. Maybe things could get better.

A dark figure moulded itself in front of Castiel. He looked in confusion as it turned into his Vessels mirror image and began smiling at him maniacally.  


"Hello. Who are you?" He questioned seemingly annoyed  


"Castiel, I'm an angel. Who are you?" He asked in return.  


"Oh, you know. Just your friendly neighbourhood cosmic entity." He replied sarcastically.  


"One question pal, why are you awake?" He added sounding increasingly agitated.  


"I don't know," Cas replied.  


"Well think harder. Because fun fact; I hate being awake. I love sleeping. Nothing ever wakes up in here. I mean ever! Second fun fact when you woke up I woke up, and I don't LIKE being awake- so again, what's up smart guy?" He questioned inching closer, visibly angry.

Dean took the opportunity of having Sam, Crowley and Rowena in the same room as a chance to apologise.  


“Look, guys, I know I've been difficult to deal with, and I guess, I'm sorry for being a dick lately. I was tough on you, Crowley and Rowena. I’m freakin’ thrilled you guys are on our side now, openly.” The two nodded at Dean accepting his apology, then left the two brothers to talk.  


“What if you’re right, about Jack?” Sam asked, hating himself for pondering on the idea.  


“Don’t” Dean spoke, knowing his brother didn't actually think that.  


“What? You’ve been trying to get me to admit that since he was born, I-” Sam added, confused.  


“Don’t say that. Look- I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. Because right now, I don't believe in a damn thing.” He said before walking off, leaving a concerned Sam behind him.

He thought Dean's apology had been progress, but now he doubted it.

He went and locked himself in his room, it’d become like a ritual for him after hunts recently.  


He didn't know how to face anyone anymore, he didn't want to face anyone anymore.  
Their faces were always filled with silent pity and they asked too many questions, he wanted it to end.  


He just wanted Cas back, but he knew that wasn’t plausible because he would’ve come back already.  
His reason, his will to believe in anything at all had been ripped apart right in front of him.  


It was pointless, hopeless. He was so unhappy and so damn angry all the time.  


It was as though Cas took all of his strength with him when he died.  


Now when he shot the monsters he wondered what it would feel like to put a bullet through his own skull.  


But he couldn’t do that to his brother, he didn’t deserve to pay for Dean's mistakes like Cas had.  


No matter how much Dean wished he was gone. He had to keep it up for Sammy.  


Instead, he sat there gripping on to his angel's trenchcoat, drowning himself in liquor.

Later on, Crowley went to find his mother, finding her immersed in books and notes.  


“I think Moose may have rubbed off on you a bit too hard,” he said, startling the witch, gesturing at her notes.  


“What nonsense are you spewing now Fergus?” she rolled her eyes, trying not to show her nerves about his previous statement.  


"What exactly has you so engrossed, and in your private space?" He questioned, eyeing her suspiciously.  


He moved forward when she didn't answer taking a look for himself.  


"And what could you possibly need this spell for, what are you up to?" He said reading a page she had open with notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> season 15 has been. wow.


	11. Because inside, you're already dead.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> um, stuff.  
the next few chapters will follow some of the episodes and then it'll take a twist.

Dean was struggling.  


He couldn't find it in himself to do anything.

He just felt so debilitated, bitter and upset all at once that it consumed him. He couldn't go on like this, but that fact was that he didn't want to go on anymore. How are you supposed to go on when everything had been ripped from you so cruelly?  


The only reason he kept on going was the thought of what it would do to Sam if he wasn't around so soon after having lost Eileen and Mary. But sometimes, he thought that perhaps Sam would be better off too.  


All that ever followed Dean was pain and destruction so was there really any point?

He knew that he looked terrible—he had discerned that in the mirror only an hour earlier. His hair was dishevelled, his skin sallow, his eyes sunken with deep sockets. He acknowledged he should eat, sleep, or even go outside. But he couldn’t.  
Every time he tried to sleep he'd wake up from the same recurring nightmare that had become his reality. No amount of bacon or booze could make the ache go away.

What was the point of going on?

Cas had died before, yes, but this time it seemed like it was going to stick and Dean felt nauseated by the thought.

"Look, Fergus." Rowena commenced, stretching the name.  


"For the love of- it's Crowley!" Crowley interrupted.  


"FERGUS! It's not what you think." She reiterated to the demon.  


"Then explain exactly what it is, mother." he challenged, not knowing what to think.  


"Those poor boys have been through so much." She began, confusing him by being sincere. Since when did she care so much about the Winchesters?  


"So what exactly are you planning? You can't bring back angels using that. Nor can you bring back someone who died in another world. So what exactly is the plan?" He quizzed.  


She proceeded to explain her idea to him.  
He was confused about her motivation but said it couldn't hurt to try because even he agreed the boys could use something good right about now.  
Crowley secretly missed feathers, his stiff best-frenemy.  


Not that he'd ever admit it.  


He could, however, tell his mother was hiding something but he didn't push the matter as he knew he would find out sooner or later.  


After all, he was the King of hell.

“Think.” He spat.  


“The Winchester’s, they must’ve made a deal.” Cas thought aloud.  


"No, no, no. Not with me. And I’m the only one who has any pull here.” he replied.  
“Think harder.” he tapped on Castiel’s head “Wrack that perky little brain of yours.” In a strained voice.  


“Stay away from me.” Castiel cautioned.  


"Fine you wanna play it like that then. I'll just wrack it for you." The cosmic entity spoke.  
The being gripped onto Cas' head tightly and excruciatingly sifted through his memories.

“What do you want?” an out of breath Castiel questioned  
“What do I want? I want you to shut up. hmmmm. Having you awake it’s like a gnat flew right up here.” Tapping his head. “It’s trapped, and it’s buzzing,” he stated, clearly agitated.  
“Having me awake causes you pain.” Cas realised.  
“If you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep. And I like to sleep. I NEED sleep.” The being complained.  
“Then get rid of me, send me back to earth” Cas stated.

“Oh I should, should I? How about I throw you so deep into the empty so that you can’t bother me anymore.” The being retorted.  


“Except you know that won’t work or you would’ve done it already,” Cas replied.  


“Pretty smart, pretty smart. Dummy.” the empty said.  


“Send me back,” Cas demanded.

“That's not part of the deal.” The older being jibbed “Besides you don’t want to go back.” he added.  


“Yes I do, Sam and Dean need me,” Cas replied.  


“Oh, save it.” The annoyed entity said stepping closer to the angel.  


“I have tip-toed through all your little tulips.” He started, patting the angels head as he crouched down.  
“Your memories, your little feelings. Yes. I know what you hate. I know who you l o v e. What you fear.” The empty continued much to Castiel’s horror.

The being continued to taunt and torture him with memories of all his mistakes and the bad things he had done.  


The angel had almost passed out from the pain, but held up his resolve, knowing that the being was wrong, he did matter, to the Winchesters at least.  
“Kiddo, save yourself.” the being said, annoyance growing with every word  


“I’m already saved,” Cas grunted as the entity kicked him.

The entity considered him for a moment and took the opportunity to use a different tactic, a cruel tactic. Changing his face into one, horrifically familiar to Castiel. His heart almost melted at the sight, the only thing stopping his sentiments was the fact that he knew it wasn’t real.  


“C’mon Cas,” he urged, almost sounding affectionate as he tried to mock soothe the angel to sleep “You not even gonna listen to me, m e ?” he whispered closely staring into the angel’s soul.  


It took every last inch of strength he had to resist at the sight of the all too familiar face, but it was all wrong.  


He knew this wasn't his Dean.

The light from his soul that usually shone in his Dean's eyes, even despite his immeasurable grief, wasn’t there and Cas had always sworn that intensified the look in the man's eyes, it was part of what made the man so intriguing.

“Release me.” Castiel said, standing firm, face to face with the currently disguised ancient being who stared back at his firm stance in rage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, if you have any suggestions please leave a comment below!


	12. That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays to all!

Dean, was still on his path of self-destruction.  


Sam noticed it more frequently than he had in the past.  


This was something much deeper than just losing your best friend.

They had lost Cas before but he had never seen Dean so distraught. He knew the reason that Dean was so beside himself was the Seraph because whereas he could talk about the death of their mother when it came to Cas, he just couldn't. 

Something deep inside of him was visibly broken, he knew they had shared a profound bond but the pain Dean exuded was similar to that which Sam felt for Jessica and it was painful to watch.  


He knew he needed to do something, he couldn’t watch his brother destroy himself this way.  


Sam knew Dean hadn’t slept much recently and made sure he would at least feed the man before going on a hunt this time.

It was surreal to him how he had the devil's son, the king of hell and his fiery witch mother, all on their side and living under their roof.  


And that he had also slept with the woman, and enjoyed it, he definitely hadn’t expected that. Come to think of it, he hadn’t had a chance to sit down and talk with her about it, instead, they had been skirting around each other like nervous school children whenever Rowena hadn’t locked herself away in her room.

Much to his dismay Dean was up before he got the chance to make anything for him, but thankfully he was making a PB&J for himself. Cas' favourite.  


He had even offered Dean a beer with his breakfast which the older brother had found odd.  
In fact, Sam even said that leaving Jack behind with Crowley and Rowena seemed safe enough which Dean had questioned but went along with when Sam had presented him with the prospect of a hunt at breakfast.  


Another thing Dean had found suspicious was when Sam had given him agent Paige.

According to the kid’s mom, the doctors said he had seen something so traumatic, he just wouldn’t talk, Sam saw this was also what was going on with his brother. Dean sympathised with him, seeing flashes of Cas falling to the ground right in front of his eyes.  
He explained to the kid that he knew what it was like to see something traumatic, to see monsters, and how it never really goes away. He remained unresponsive, much to Dean's annoyance, but still, he understood so he tried not to pressure him like he normally would have.

Billie had told Dean they needed to talk. ‘Welcome to my reading room’ she had quipped and Dean was already tired of the conversation. He knew, however, with this reaper, especially now that she was Death, it wouldn’t be easy for him to get out of this, not that he was sure he even wanted to get out of this. Maybe it’d be better for it to all just end this way? He wouldn’t have to deal with the torment of living anymore and his brother would think he died simply doing the job. Instead of having lost the will to live

“I want to know how you’ve been slipping through dimensions” She demanded.  


“Bring back C-” he began.  


“I can’t and you know it, Dean.” She cut in, much to Dean’s woe.  


“Free the ghosts at the house.” He demanded.  


“Done” She stated, “So, spill.”  


“Lucifer’s son, Jack. It created a rip. Trust me It’s not Candyland.” Dean informed her.  


“You’ve changed, you didn't ask to go back to live.” She noted, her interest piqued.  


“I figured you wouldn’t let that happen.” He lied.  


“You have changed and you tell people it's not a big deal, that you’ll work through it. But you know you won’t. That you can't and that scares the hell out of you.” She analysed, much to Dean’ annoyance. It made him uncomfortable how she'd just read him like that.  


“It doesn't matter. I don't matter. I couldn’t save mom, I couldn’t save Cas-” He paused, feeling the pain profoundly despite being ‘dead’ “I couldn’t even save a scared little kid and I keep dragging Sam down. So what's the point?” Dean finished.  


“Unfortunately, none of these books says you die today. I stand witness to a much larger picture. You, your brother. You’re important.” Billie told Dean.  
“So you wanna die, but I say. ‘Keep living.’” She finished.

Much to Sam’s relief, Dean let out the biggest gasp. He had been terrified Dean wasn’t going to make it back this time, something that probably would’ve been his own decision.

“You ok?” Sam asked finally catching up to his brother outside.  


“No, Sam, I'm not ok, I’m pretty far from ok,” Dean spoke honestly, “my whole life I always believed what we did was important no matter who we lost whether it was Dad or Bobby and I would take the hit and kept on fighting- but now mom and Cas-”  


“So now you don't believe anymore?” Sam inquired, troubled.  


“I just need a win. I just need a damn win.” Dean responded getting into the car.

About 3 hours into the drive Sam had fallen asleep, and Deans phone rang loudly waking him up.  


“Yeah?” Dean answered the phone unimpressed until he heard the voice on the other end causing him to perk up in slight hysteria.  


“What?” Sam questioned looking at Deans bewildered expression.  


Dean raced ahead, not having said a word on the phone after ‘Yeah?’  
Sam was inquisitive and began questioning his older brother as to what had got him so started up.  


His response left him in confusion too as they sped down the highway.


	13. No one bends the rules like you three bend the rules.

Sam had never seen Dean jump out of the car so fast, he did follow soon after though; neither of the hunters could believe the sight before them.  


Dean stood there staring at Castiel like some foreign object.  


Everything about him screamed Cas; he could tell by the spark in his eyes.  


But how? Billie had told him it wasn’t possible.  


“Cas is that really you?” He asked the angel in the trenchcoat stood before him not knowing what else to say as he examined the angel in utter bewilderment.  


“No. Y-you’re dead,” Sam answered first.  


“Yeah, I was. But then I annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back.” Cas informed stepping closer to the two brothers.  


“I don't even know what to say,” Sam said still processing, a small smile playing on his face.  


Dean, however, stepped forward saying “I do.” reaching for the angel pulling him into a bone-crushing embrace any human would’ve lost the ability to breathe because of, saying “welcome home pal.” with the first genuine smile he’d worn in weeks as he breathed in the angel’s musk.  


It took him a minute to register Sam was there, when he did pull back Sam followed suit hugging the Seraph.  


Once they had both stepped back Castiel questioned, “How long was I gone?”  


He could’ve given him the exact amount of time down to the minute but instead, Dean settled on saying  
“Too damn long.” with a shaky voice which Castiel noted with a saddened expression.  


“Where were you? Heaven?” Sam inquired.  


“No.” He began, much to Dean’s visible confusion. “No, I was in the empty.”  


“Really?” Dean questioned, somewhat alarmed.  


“Apparently it where angels and demons go when they die,” Cas informed the brothers, telling them he didn’t know how he was back and believed it was them making some feeble-minded deal.  


“No, we didn’t even think we could bring you back,” Dean said with an equally pained voice and expression, devastated that it wasn’t he who had brought him back, but thankful for the very fact he was back.  


“So who was it, Chuck?” Sam suggested.  


“No, no he has no power in the empty,” Cas returned, unclear.  


“Well, then who does?” Dean added to the examination.  


Then the realisation hit Sam. “Jack..” he whispered exchanging a look with the other two men.  


With that, they all made their way to the car.  


"You know what Cas, you can ride shotgun," Sam told the angel making him smile.  


"Really?" The angel asked the hairy hunter knowing he usually got annoyed if he tried.  


"Yeah, I'm just gonna snooze anyway so you guys can keep each other company," he replied, laying down in the back of the car.  


Dean silently thanked his brother for the gesture and started up the car.  
All of a sudden he felt… hope.  
He wanted to live, he wanted to fight.  
He believed again. His reason to believe was back.  
Cas was back and that was all Dean had wanted.  


"How have you been Dean?" Cas questioned unsure if Dean was still mad at him about what had happened before he had died.  


"I've uh- ah you probably couldn't hear prayers where you were huh?" Was all Dean could say.  


He didn't really know how to tell the angel exactly what a mess he had been without him, he didn't know how to tell him how much he had wanted to die, how wrong everything felt without his best friend. Without his angel by his side.  


"No, I couldn't. But I did hear you this morning. And I mis-" Cas began, then stopped, staring at Dean's eyes.  


"Did you die recently, Dean? While I was gone?" Cas demanded glancing into his companion's soul, alarmed.  


"How?" Dean questioned.  


"I'm an angel dumbass. I can tell by your soul." Cas said studying him with a mixture of concern and discontent.  


"It was the job. By the way, Billie is the new death." Dean added desperately trying to steer the conversation away from himself.  


"Billie? How are you even here then?" Cas asked looking fatigued from the news.


	14. I have faith in us. You, me, Cas, Rowena. And Crowley. Sometimes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it'll start picking up very soon, i promise!

“How’d it go?” Jack asked tapping away at the keyboard, eyes transfixed on the screen.

“Well, Jack. Um.” Sam began, waiting for the younger man to look up in his direction.

Dean actually looked at the kid for the first time properly since they had brought him into their home, the faintest smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“What's wrong?” Jack asked looking at the two brothers, a look of slight concern on his face.

“Where are Rowena and Crowley?” Sam asked, almost as if on queue the mother and son duo walked into the room expectantly.

“You asked for us?” Crowley gestured mockingly, causing Dean to roll his eyes.

Sam and Dean both took a step back and faced towards the entrance of where they came from, causing the other three to look in the same direction.

Less than a second later Castiel appeared and walked forward leaving the three in shock.

“Hello Jack,” he said stepping closer to the boy. “Crowley, Rowena.” He nodded curtly in their direction.

They were all stunned into silence. Until Jack spoke up.

“Castiel?” He asked. 

He nodded in response “It’s me.” smiling.

“No, we burned your body. And what's burned stays dead.” He relayed to himself confused, the revelation going against everything he had learned from Sam thus far. “How?” he added.

“Well, that's the question we’ve been asking,” Dean stated.

“Oh please. When has death ever stopped a Winchester?” Crowley interrupted. “Good to have you back feathers.” He admitted walking to the liquor cabinet.

Castiel was still unsure of Crowley’s intentions so simply nodded at the odd statement from the King of hell, but appreciated being acknowledged as a Winchester.

“Jack did you uh, did you bring Cas back?” Sam questioned softly.

“I don't know. I wanted him back. I begged for him to come back but-” Jack recalled.  
Dean resonated with those words. He too had wanted to scream at the heavens and beg for Castiel back, and now he was.

“Well, here he is,” Dean stated a small simper on his face.

“Because of me?” Jack asked.

“We don't know, but we think maybe,” Sam replied.

“I missed you so much,” Jack said reaching for his appointed adoptive father, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“Sam and Dean tell me you’re doing well,” Cas said.

“I am. Watch this-” He started levitating a pencil, “I can move the pencil.” he said eager to show his new trick off to his back-from-the-dead adoptive father who smiled fondly in response.

Dean was a little freaked out by his growth in powers, whilst Sam and Rowena were impressed.

Crowley, however, was indifferent as he took the occasion to break into the Winchesters finest liquor without being yelled at.

“Ooh! And i found a case. A hunters case.” he stated eagerly, much to everyone’s confusion.

“What kind of case?” Dean questioned.

“Zombies.” He replied excited, “I know what Zombies are now!” He whispered to Sam and Cas.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” Dean asked as Jack pressed a few buttons allowing him to access police databases.

“By watching you and Sam.” He stated before he began recounting the case to the group of five around him.

Dean was ready to say no to the case, until Jack mentioned that ‘the dead are rising in Dodge City, Kansas.’

A dreamy expression crossed Dean's face. Cas glanced up as if he heard the excitement going on in Deans head, and Dean looked down to hide his smile whilst Jack glanced between the two of them, confused.

Sam looked between the two wanting to roll his eyes, saying “right. O-or maybe it's a-a grave robbery, but…”

“Oh,” Jack said, underwhelmed.

“Yeah, but we should probably check it out.” Dean piped up.

Castiel looked at him confused saying “Wait. Really?” Knowing Dean wouldn’t take a case without any concrete evidence, not wanting to waste his time on chance when he could be helping people who needed it, or better still, relaxing.

“Yeah, we've done more on less. Besides Dodge City's kind of, uh, kind of awesome.” Dean said, sheepishly as Crowley rolled his eyes whilst Sam and Rowena looked at each other confused.

“All right, well… two salty hunters, one half-angel kid, the King of hell, his witch mom, and a dude who just came back from the dead. Again.” Dean said nodding, acknowledging how weird the fact that made sense was with a cheesy grin on his face before going to pack the car whilst the others watched on confused.

"Team free will 2.0, here we go!"


	15. We're all a little wacky, some more than others, but if it works, it works.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're getting there

“Alright, this is supposed to be the best room in the joint.” Dean declared as he opened the door to the ‘wild bill’ suite in the stampede motel he had insisted on staying in, much to Sam’s chagrin. 

He did find it odd however that Dean had insisted on getting the best possible room, it was probably something to do with his cowboy obsession.

Rowena and Crowley had stayed back for some reason unbeknownst to the other men but they didn’t question it.

Sam hadn't seen Dean this happy in a long time. He was glad to see it, but almost weirded out by exactly how happy he was.  
Sure he was happy to have Cas back too, but Dean had done a complete 360° to how he had been over the last few weeks it was almost surreal. 

It was good to see him smile whole-heartedly again.

Dean laughed as he looked around at all the cowboy decor and photos of famous old west figures.

“Wow.” Said, Sam.  
Sam, Cas, and Jack stood there more bewildered than impressed, whilst Dean appeared to be having the time of his life.

“Pretty cool, right? Dude! Check it out, check it out, check it out. Clay Allison – gunfighter extraordinaire, right? And, uh, Curly Bill Brocius, which – now, now, now, a little fun fact here – was killed by Wyatt Earp himself. Not kidding. Johnny Ringo, Billy the Kid. Oh, look!” Dean enthused.

“He really likes cowboys,” Jack whispered to Cas, flabbergasted by the man’s happiness, he had never seen Dean so overjoyed in all his time he'd spent with him since he had met the man.

Dean booped a stuffed buffalo head on the nose, “Hey, big guy. How you doin'? That's… What's going on, Calamity Jane?” Dean continued.

“Yes. Yes, he does.” Castiel whispered to Jack.

“Doc Holliday! Hey-oh! This is awesome. All right, I say a quick shower, steak dinner, and then tomorrow, we hit up the cemetery.” Dean laid out.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sam said, slightly freaked out.

“Oh, yes! Stirrup hangers!” Dean called from the other room.  
Jack turned to Car saying "You can have the couch if you want. I don't sleep much."

"I don't sleep at all." Castiel bluntly responded. 

Sam entered the other portion of the room as Dean’s unpacked.  
“Still can't believe you brought your own hat,” Sam said.

“Well, I can't believe you didn't.” Dean sassed back.

“You're in a good mood, huh?” Sam pointed out, he was glad, but also taken aback.

“Yeah. And?” Dean responded, as though he hadn't wanted to die just under 15 hours ago.

“Nothing. No, no, I-I-I just, uh… you've been having a rough go, so it's… it's good to see you smile.” Sam added.

"Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That's a pretty damn big win." Dean said with a genuine smile. 

It was the only win he had been wanting, the only one he needed. How could he not be ecstatic?

"Yeah. Fair enough." Sam replied, still slightly taken aback by how joyful his brother appeared. 

"But who's gonna do it, Fergus? You cannot be expecting one of them to do it, surely." Rowena stressed. 

"But they can, they have Jack. His powers are beyond comprehension. I mean he even brought feathers back from the dead! You think he can't repair a little damage to a human body." Crowley stated. 

"You told me what happened to Sam last time. He nearly died! I can't have that Fergus." She spoke. 

"Why do you care so much?" Crowley asked, suspicious. 

"Because I actually care for those boys, especially now that we're on the same team." She said, not looking him in the eyes. 

He eyed her suspiciously. "You seem awfully concerned about Moose, pray do tell." He spoke. 

"Oh, Fergus. You're being an idiot. Just let me get on with this, make yourself useful- quit your yapping and fetch some ingredients." She attempted to brush him off as she read off a list. 

Truthfully, the witch had developed a soft spot for the younger brother. Particularly after their night of passion a few weeks back. Although they'd been avoiding each other they still checked up on one another, something no one had cared to do for Rowena in a long time and she very much appreciated it.

The next day started off with Jack and Castiel sat at the table in the room of the hotel, Jack had slept for a few hours and then gotten up and joined Castiel, who appeared to be deep in thought, on the table as the two hunters slept in the other portion of the room.  
Castiel apologised to Jack for not having been there and gave him reassurance that his mother would've been so proud of him. It almost made Jack tear up, even though Sam had been trying to reassure him, hearing those words from Cas had a whole different meaning.  


Before Jack could thank him properly, his computer notifications went off alerting him of some progress on the case.  
“Oh, wow. I'll go tell them.” Rushing off to wake up the hunters.  


“Jack. Jack!” Castiel called after the Nephilim, knowing it probably wasn't the best idea.

Cas attempted to stop him to no avail, Jack tapped Dean's shoulder anyway, as Cas rushed into the room hot on his tail.  
“Dean? Dean?” Jacked tapped.  


“Jack, I wouldn't do that!” Cas warned the kid.

“Aah!” Dean awoke violently, pulling a gun from beneath his pillow and aiming it at Jack.  


“No, no, no! Dean, it's me. It's me.” He spoke frantically, holding his hands up in the air.  


Cas stood by the swinging saloon doors in resignation, having expected such a reaction from the man.  
“Ah, hey. Who's making me a coffee?” brushing off what had just happened, Dean relaxed and laid back down.  
Cas had put his coffee on, having spent enough time with the man to know what he liked.

Poor Jack still looked a little shaken up, despite the fact that the gun couldn’t have killed him, Deans sudden nice behaviour towards him had come out of the blue which meant he was still quite unsure about where exactly he stood with the man.  


Sometime later, Dean joined and poured his coffee into a mug and shuffled over to slump down on the sofa and slurped his coffee in an attempt to wake up.  
“I told you. He's an angry sleeper. Like a bear.” Cas leaned over to whisper to Jack, who was confused as to how Cas knew that, but didn't question it.  
“Okay, so "code three" means an officer down. Looks like the victim was–” Sam said.  


“Covered in bite marks. Like from a zombie.” Jack piped up.  


“Or anything else that has teeth,” Dean grumbled, causing Jack to pipe down.

“All right, change of plans. Jack and I will hit the graveyard. You and Cas hit up the crime scene.” Sam suggested, tactfully.  


“Works for me,” Dean spoke up from his coffee.

Sam and Jack got up to leave, and Cas rose as well, but Dean held up a finger pointing at his coffee. Without a word, Cas sat back down to wait for Dean to finish knowing better than to protest.  


“Ahh,” Dean said as the coffee began to hit.

“How are you doing Jack?” Sam asked the Nephilim.  


“I’m doing well, thanks,” Jack replied.  


“That's good, you seem happier.”  


“Well yeah. My father, Castiel, is back, not that I don't consider you both to be like one of course. But I’m happy he's here, and Dean seems to be happy too which is good. How’re you doing?”  


Sam was touched by his comment about considering him to be like a father, “Yeah I’m good, like you said, Cas is back and things are ok for the moment.” Sam said.  
“Actually Jack do you mind if I make a quick phone call before we go check this out?” Sam asked the Nephilim, who nodded and stood outside the car whilst Sam did so.

Dean and Cas drove up to the crime scene along the highway where the officer was killed and parked a short distance away. They remained in the car, Cas wearing a cowboy hat with a hatband advertising their motel, discussing their strategy.  


"All right, listen, these Dodge City cops aren't likely to trust big city folks, so we're gonna have to blend." Dean cautioned  
"Which is why you're making me wear this absurd hat," Cas said looking at himself in the mirror and then turning to Dean.

"It's not that bad. Well, actually, yeah, it kind of is. Hang on." Dean said reaching over and removing the hatband and tossing it in the back seat. "All right. That's better." If it wasn't for the trenchcoat, he would've passed for a genuine cowboy.

"Is it?" Cas asked looking back into the mirror as Dean appreciated the sight of the angel in a hat. 

Dean sighed saying, "Yeah. Look, just act like you're from Tombstone, okay?"

"The city?" The Angel asked slightly confused. 

"The movie. With Kurt Russell? I made you watch it." Dean recalled, frustrated. 

"Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis." Cas remarked he turned to Dean and spoke in a deep cowboy voice, 

"I'm your Huckleberry."

"Yeah, exactly." Dean swallowed thickly, the reference having stirred something inside him for some incomprehensible reason. "Well, it's good to have you back, Cas." he paused savouring the moment, 

"All right, follow my lead. We'll fit right in." He spoke before they got out of the car.

Of course, Cas had gotten confused and introduced himself as a character from tombstone which made Dean want to mentally smack himself for not having provided the Seraph with an Alias knowing exactly what he was like. Though, part of him was slightly amused as he had missed the angel's cluelessness. 

Sam and Jack weren't having much luck. Sam seemed distracted whilst Jack was trying his best but asking all the wrong questions, though Sam had found it amusing it wasn't much help.  
Instead, they busied themselves in the graveyard. Jack had been confused by the emf meter at first as it was going wild which had confused Jack, Sam found it somewhat endearing and explained about how it was to be expected as they were in a graveyard. 

Sam jumped down into the grave opening the coffin, where most of one end was missing.  
"That's one big rat." He proclaimed.


	16. Sorry, but i'd rather have you. Cursed or not.

Dean was excited to be in Dodge and whilst Sam found it weird, he was also glad that his brother was happier, he'd needed the break.

Cas was delighted to be back on earth with his friends, he was pleased to have met Jack and overjoyed that he was back with Dean.

Jack was feeling lighter too, now that Cas was back it wasn’t so tough for him to deal without his mother, it had also made Dean happier, which in turn meant Dean was a lot friendlier towards him which he had found odd, but he appreciated it, nonetheless.

Everything had been going well, perhaps almost too well… either way, it didn't last very long.  
Sam and Jack's discovery at the graveyard had led them to a suspect, a ghoul who possessed the body of some wild west gunslinger, that meant trouble, and trouble there was.

Rowena had been feeling a bit peaky over the past few weeks, she had attributed it to being cooped up in the room so she brushed it off.  
She couldn't, however, ignore the sickness she felt when she woke up one morning.  


It was an odd sensation for her, one she hadn't felt in almost 400 years.  
Again, she brushed it off considering it to be a side effect of working day and night with the book of the damned and very little rest.  
Witches were powerful, but even the most powerful needed rest. So she decided that's what she would do.  


As she got up to move to the bed for the first time in days she felt a tad woozy and collapsed.

Crowley had come back with the ingredients his mother had asked him to collect.  


He had no idea why she was so keen on helping relieve the Winchester's pain, particularly Moose, all of a sudden but he didn't object to it either, especially now that they were on the same team.  


A win for them was now also a win for him.

He liked the fact that they were on the team deep down. Despite all their past hostility towards him it was good to finally feel like he was a part of their team and that he wasn't just being used and discarded. Like he was finally getting what he deserved.  


He walked into the room expecting to find her glued to the chair again, all he found instead was her pale body lying limp on the floor, she did not look good at all.  
"Mother! Mother?" Crowley said, patting her cheek in an attempt to wake her up as he transported her body to the bed.  


He could feel she was still alive, but weak?  
Probably the lack of rest, but it was odd for a witch of her stance for sure he noted. The feeling of concern for his mother took him by surprise, he hadn't seen that one coming, but then again he'd not exactly seen the genuine sentiment for the Winchester's coming either so...

The dread that flooded Jack's system was echoed by the other three as they saw the body hit the post from the impact of Jack's blast.

Sam, Jack, and Cas ran to help the guard while Dean chased after the ghoul on foot until he lost sight of him.  


"Cas, I-I didn't mean to. Castiel, you have to heal him." Jack panicked.  
Castiel attempted to heal the guard but wasn't able to as he wasn't back at full capacity due to the situation in heaven.  


"I can't," Cas replied  


"Why– why not?" Jack panicked, feeling sick at his actions.  


"He's dead," Sam answered.

Back at the motel, Jack sat on the sofa while Sam, Dean, and Cas conferred in the bedroom.  


"Is this the first time he's hurt anyone?" Cas questioned the two hunters.  


"No. No, but it is the first time he's hurt someone that didn't get back up." Sam replied.  


"All right, you two should get Jack back to the bunker," Dean instructed, explaining that the cops would have questions so it was best to get him out of town.  


"Okay, but what– what about the ghoul? I can stay here." Cas stated.  


"Yeah, I can take Jack back to the bunker, it's fine. Besides, it'll probably be quicker with Cas' help meaning you can both come back quicker." Sam said.

Dean reluctantly agreed, being nervous about the frame of mind Jack was in and being left all alone with Cas.


	17. You have work to do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YEEThaw

"Man, Cas. I'm so glad you're back. That literally would've taken like two hours. Thanks, man." Dean said referring to the grave they had just dug up.

They both sat down on the motel room sofa. 

"Glad to be of assistance," Cas replied, giving Dean a curt nod and smile. 

"Nah, I mean it Cas. Even without the help you give us. I'm just glad you're here. You have no idea how much I missed you, man. I-I uh yeah. You want a beer?" Dean asked, feeling like he may have said too much. 

Cas didn't really remember the taste of beer from when he was human. But he enjoyed it being an excuse to spend time with Dean so he would drink it anyway. "Sure, I'll have one." He replied. 

"I did miss you too Dean." Cas spoke as Dean opened the fridge. 

"You were dead, how could you miss me? Do angels still think when they're dead?" Dean asked, confused.

"No, no. I was awake in the empty for a while before it released me." Cas told Dean. 

"Yeah? What was that like?" Dean quizzed, as he sat down and handed Cas his beer. 

"It was...nothing, empty. But awful." Cas recalled a haunted expression on his face. 

"What happened?" Dean pressed, worried by the Angel's expression. 

"I was tortured. I'm sure if I wasn't already dead, it would've either killed me or left me irreparably damaged." Cas stated. "The things it showed me, what it turned into-" Cas breathed.  
Dean scooted closer to the angel and put an arm over his shoulder to comfort him. 

"Cas I'm sorry man. But you're here now. Whatever that thing was it can't get to you anymore. If it tries, it'll have me to deal with." Dean joked, but he was serious. 

Cas was about to tell him how the empty could probably blink him out of existence but instead smiled up at the hunter, understanding his words came from a caring place. 

This was his Dean, the real Dean. 

He could see, grief, worry and regret plastered all over the man, but regardless, even despite his stint in hell, his soul still shone brightly through the sparkle in his eyes.  
At first when he met Dean all he saw was his soul, as that was what he initially rescued from hell. But when he was cut off from heaven just over a year later, he began to see less of his soul and more of the man. 

He couldn't help himself as he leaned into the warm and familiar touch. 

Dean looked at the angel.  
He studied his gorgeous features.  
From his enchanting electric blue eyes to his perfect lips. 

'This is dangerous' Dean thought to himself about their proximity and the feeling in his gut. 

It was then that he was hit violently by memories of the turmoil of the last few week's without Cas, then it occurred to him that maybe Cas was what he had needed all along. 

He looked into the Angel's eyes, they were gorgeous, bright and enchanting. 

With the force of that emotion, he quickly closed the distance between them and silently rejoiced when their lips became flush against each other. His body tingled, as if sighing in relief from the long-overdue urge to kiss those full lips. 

He lost any sense as he may have had as he sunk into the kiss, every bad feeling he'd ever felt got pushed to the side, being replaced by feelings of... joy? Cas was completely stiff against his body. After a moment, Dean started to pull away, dreading Cas' reaction. But just as they pulled apart, Cas pulled him in for another kiss, shocking not only the Hunter but himself.

Cas didn't realise it was possible, but he felt his heart skip a beat. He'd never felt anything like this before in all his centuries of existence. 

Ecstasy in its purest form... 

That was until, Dean's phone buzzed obnoxiously loudly causing the two to scoot apart, clearing their throats as Dean answered the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting regularly now hopefully! [Every 2-3 days, maybe everyday if I get impatient haha]
> 
> let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions in the comments.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. You’re an idiot, by the way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i have a bunch of chapters written for this and my impatient side is telling me to post them all sequentially or should i post them separated out with days in between?

Cas and Dean arrived back in the bunker, where Jack was sitting at the library table alone and contemplative whilst Sam sat at the war room table across from Rowena and Crowley. 

"How'd it go?" Sam quizzed Dean.  


"Usual. Killed the bad guy, saved the girl." Dean quipped.  


"What about the, uh…" Sam asked.  


"Took care of it," Dean replied.  


"Good." Sam breathed out.

"Good? How is that good? I killed someone. What was his name? The guard? Did he have a family?" Jack questioned.  


"Jack, don't do this to yourself," Cas warned.  


"No, did he?" Jack pressed.  


"Yes, he did," Dean answered.  


"Jack, look, this life, what we do, it's… it's not easy. And we've all done things we regret." Sam began.  


"Just don't. You're afraid of me." Jack said.  


"Jack, no." Cas started.

"No, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just another monster." Jack said, turning to Dean.  


"No, you're not, I was messed up at the time- I shouldn't have said that. I thought you were. I did, because of- But… As Sam said, we've all done bad. We all have blood on our hands. So if you're a monster, we're all monsters." Dean added.  
Sam was shocked at Dean's genuineness but would question that later.

"No, you don't… Every time I try and do something good, people get hurt. I thought I was getting better. I'm not… I don't know what I am, but I know I can't make the world a better place, not like this. I can't even do one good thing. And I know that if I stay, I'm gonna hurt you. All of you. And… I can't. You're all I have." Jack said. 

"Jack, listen…" Sam said.  


"I have to go." Jack stood up planning to leave.  


"No, Jack." Castiel stood, putting his hand tenderly on Jack's shoulder.

"Castiel. I don't want to be here, I want my mom. I can't do this. Please, take me to her." Jack pleaded with Castiel as the Seraph pulled him in for a supportive hug, he was just a lost child. 

Dean felt for the kid. Maybe he really was just a child who wanted its mother, much like he had been once. Either way, he couldn't avoid the pit of guilt.

"I can always take you up to heaven and see if you can stay for a while." Castiel proposed. 

Dean was not a fan of this idea. Last time Cas was in heaven, the only reason he was let out alive was because of the shortage of angels. Since then more had returned to heaven. It wasn't safe for him. He'd only just gotten him back, he was not losing him again. 

"Is that possible?" Jack brightened slightly. 

"It would have to be handled with tact but I'm sure we could figure out an arrangement." Cas deliberated. 

"Cas I don't think it's a good idea for you to be going up there," Dean appended. 

"Dean I will be fine," Cass added. 

"You can't guarantee that. They tried to kill you last time. You think once they have their hands on his power they'll let you leave?" Dean stressed. "If you're not safe it's not happening."

"Dean this isn't about me. It’s about Jack. I promised to keep him safe and the only way I can do that is to keep him with me. When he is in heaven he will be with his mother and I will come back here. But when he isn't here with us I need to make sure he has a safe passage in and out of heaven. Yes, that may put me in harm's way but it has to be done. It’s better this way than Jack being out god knows where all alone." Cas explained. 

Dean was not impressed. "Just, please. Don't- don't get dead, okay." Dean pleaded. The angel nodded in return before leaving with the Nephilim.  
Dean chose to take a shower to cool off knowing he was about to do nothing but stress about the Angel until he heard from him. 

"Moose there's a slight problem." Crowley proclaimed as he stepped into the room.


	19. What the hell’s that mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Destiel will be coming, but i thought I'd give a little focus to everyone before it all gets overtaken by DeanCas drama

"Rowena!" Sam rushed over to her side as she lay there unconscious and colourless.  


"What happened to her?" Sam demanded, examining her pulse and breathing.

"Not sure. I went on an errand. Came back and found her collapsed on the floor." Crowley described.  
"Call feathers, he might be able to help with a diagnosis. I'm stumped. It’s not any condition that I have come across. I thought it might be from her lack of sleep recently or the queasiness but for it to be this bad, it can't just be as simplistic as that. I can't heal her if I don't know what it is" Crowley added. 

Sam was troubled. Why hadn't she mentioned any of this? Come to think of it, he hadn't seen much of her recently and anytime they did see each other it was like a pair of teenagers skirting around one another.  


"Cas won't be back for a while," Sam returned as he attempted to wake the witch up by giving her some water.  


Rowena sputtered awake, taking in a large gasp of air.  
"Rowena. Are you alright?" Sam asked, concerned as he helped to sit her up.  


"What on earth happened? I found you on the bloody floor." Crowley said.  


"I-I don't know. I got up to go to bed- and then it all went hazy...and then nothing." Was all Rowena told.  
"Anyway there's no need to make a bother, I'm feeling better now. I think I just need rest." She lied.  
Crowley eyed her doubtfully, whilst Sam looked concerned but nodded.  


"If you need anything let me know." He spoke before they left.  


She grinned weakly, nodding before he got up to go.  


It was only when they had left that she permitted herself to have a meltdown.  


She knew precisely what was wrong with her, after all, she had been through it before over 350 years ago.  
She was pregnant, with Sam Winchester's baby.

Dean didn’t like the feeling he got when Cas went to heaven.  


He poured a drink as he sat down at the table in the library, troubled as to what they would do to him.  
He knew Cas was paramount, but with heaven scarcely functioning, he knew it meant Cas’ powers wouldn't be apt either.  
What if they attacked him again?  


No, Jack was with him, he admired Cas, he would defend him.  


But what if Jack couldn't repress his powers and inadvertently hurt Cas?  


No, no. Cas was going to be fine.  
It is Cas, he’d pulled out of situations unscathed that would’ve obliterated anyone else.  


Dean just couldn’t handle the prospect of losing him again, he couldn’t do it.

Before Dean’s mind got the chance to worry further, Sam walked in interrupting his thoughts as he poured and downed a shot.  


“Bit early for that isn't it?” Dean asked.  


“Really, Dean?” Sam asked, rolling his eyes as he pointed to the drink in Dean's hands and sat down.  


“Man it has been crazy around here lately," Dean blurted.  


"I mean when was the last time we just sat here like this?” Dean asked.  


“I dunno man.” Sam breathed, lost in thought.  


“Well you're a regular chatty Kathy, c'mon, what's up?” Dean questioned, a look of concern on his face.  


“Nothing, I’m fine. It’s just- Rowena.” He told, supping his drink.  


“What about her? You feelin’ a little something?” Dean jested, and then pulled a face of distaste at his own joke, making Sam scream inwardly because Dean had no idea how much he was feeling more than just a little something.  


“What? No, no! She fainted, it was weird, I thought she’d died.” Sam spoke up, finishing his drink off, causing Dean's face to fall.  


“Is she alright? What happened?” Dean questioned, genuinely concerned about her for once.  


“I don't know, she said she’s alright, but that's not normal. I guess we’ll just have to keep an eye on her. I mean even Crowley was bothered and they barely got along.” Sam recounted. Dean nodded in response, sipping on his drink.

Cas and Jack arrived in heaven, greeted by two hostile angels.  
“We see you and the Winchester's have belatedly come to your senses then.” remarked one of them, motioning to Jack.  


“I have come to negotiate terms.” Castiel countered moving in front of Jack.  
“Why on earth would we negotiate with an atrocity such as yourself.” The other expressed, her stance, antagonistic.  


Jack felt uneasy with the tone of the conversation, he didn't like people saying bad things about his father. Before he could say anything, he was interrupted.  


“Castiel, Jack. Come, join me.” Joshua said, dismissing the other two angels.  


“Thank you for meeting with me Joshua. But where is Naomi?” Castiel said, receiving a curt bow in rejoinder.  


“She's dealing with other business. So, this is the son of Lucifer?” Joshua summoned, turning to Jack.  


Suddenly, all the lights of heaven powered up to their complete aptitude, causing Castiel and Joshua to glance around and back to Jack.  
“Actually, Castiel is my father. I’m here to see my mom” Jack vocalised, smiling at Castiel.  


“Ah, Yes he is, but he preferred me to be his father, he renounced Lucifer,” Castiel explained to Joshua who gave Jack's remark an unusual look.  


“Some would contend there is little distinction separating you and the adversary.” Cas frowned at Joshua’s comment. “I, nonetheless, believe otherwise.” He appended, making Castiel ease up slightly. “There are very few of us left Castiel, heaven is on the brink of being sealed enduringly, but you have witnessed what he has done by merely standing here, so I will listen to what you have to say, state your terms,” Joshua said calmly to Castiel.  


“Jack wants to be able to live with his mother, but also be able to visit earth frequently-” Castiel commenced to unfold.

Crowley shook off the worry of his mother, assuring himself that nothing had happened to her thus far in the last 400 years that she couldn’t handle and it would be so for however many years she would live.  


Currently, he was in the middle of getting his affairs in order, arranging his belongings to be taken out of the underworld and into his chamber in the bunker.  


He had worked vigorously, to obtain this kingdom, learning every rule, and crushing every rule on being underhanded, astute and need be, vicious to achieve it. He would have never had imagined he would willingly leave it all behind, but truthfully, he had grown weary of it, the mundane obligations- he had never apprehended that truly, he actually resented it. All those whining Demons, the unending plaint of damned souls, the paperwork!  


He thought he would miss it, but in actuality, he would not, he would miss being called King, but he would make sure there was no other King after him.  
But now he felt he had found a place where he actually belonged, a place he had struggled even more arduously to be, after just over 350 years of somewhat living, he finally felt like he had a family.  


It would unmistakably be worth the price of losing hell.


	20. Sic ‘em, boys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bye hell

Castiel opened the door and walked in, Jack following close behind. 

"Castiel? What are you doing here?" Kelly questioned, looking at the angel as she got up off her couch.  
"Kelly, there's someone who I would like you to meet," Castiel said, smiling from Kelly to Jack.  
"This is Jack, your son." He said gesturing for Jack to move towards his mother. 

"Hello, mom." Was all Jack could manage before Kelly burst into tears.

"How long has it been? It feels like I've been gone only a few months but, you're already so big." Kelly said to Jack through her tears. 

"Its been 3 months, 1 week, 5 days and 57 minutes," Jack informed her with a smile. "I remember you said I couldn't be a child so I did what you wanted and I grew up," Jack said to Kelly who hugged him for dear life.

"Thank you for bringing him to see me Castiel." She smiled at the Seraph. 

"Well actually, I have come to an arrangement for you guys. Jack was missing you a lot, something happened so he decided to come here for a while. He will be staying with you for 2 weeks every month. If you don't mind that is. I just know it will make him happy and that's what I want for him, to be happy." Cas explained to Kelly.

She attacked him with a hug, "Thank you so much Castiel, I can't explain what this means to me." She said, taking Jack's hand as Castiel left.

"Oh, Cas! Did everything go ok?" A relieved Dean rushed over, to ask him as soon as he walked through the door.

"Yeah, Jack's with Kelly. We arranged an agreement; 2 weeks with her, 2 week's with us." Cas spoke.

"That's good, good. Did they try to hurt you?" Dean asked, concerned.

"No, no. I'm fine," Cas replied looking up at the man.

"I think maybe we should talk? About what happened..." Dean started, until Crowley showed up, beckoning for Sam and Rowena to join- much to the hunter's annoyance.

"Ah, now that we're all here, how about we get to work on that little spell. You know, the one that closes up the hell gates? Presuming that is what you still want?" Crowley sassed.  
Crowley knew he needed to get it started before any slight nostalgia that would distract him could possibly hit. 

"Yeah of course we do, we've just been a little busy," Dean said, irritated his chat with Cas had been cut short. 

"But yeah we should definitely start on that, I mean there's no time like the present," Sam said.

"We are gonna be needing your help, it'll be quicker, meaning less time for your mind to wander," Sam added as though he had read Crowley's mind.

"Alright, Dad. C'mon then, fill me in on what to do, we weren't friends last time so it's a little unclear." Crowley added.

Rowena choked on the air at Crowley's comments but tried to play it off, earning her a suspicious glance from Castiel.

She could see the slight sadness in the Demons eyes, this prompted her to come up with an idea to help him have the best of both.

"Fergus, I have an idea." She told him as the others dispersed on their task.

"Isn't that risky? What if someone else saw it and used it?" Sam asked, concerned. Dean nodded agreeing with the concern.

"No, you see only Fergus would be able to use it, no one else, other than an Angel and such would be able to see or use it." Rowena explained.

"If it’s safe, then I guess it’s not a problem, just don’t let this hard work be for nothing." Dean said, Sam was a little sceptical about the idea, but he trusted Rowena.

"Yeah, I trust you know what you're doing so, it should be ok," Sam said, smiling at the witch.

"C'mon Sam, you can help me, and you'll learn a bit more magic in the process," Rowena called as she walked down the hall, Sam on her tail.

Cas eyed Sam suspiciously, something was up, but he didn't point it out to Dean.  
"So you're really on our team then?" Cas asked Crowley, finally beginning to accept that Crowley was now his ally, despite all their history and him being the Demon King of Hell.

"Yes feathers, we're all going to be one big happy family," Crowley smirked walking off to set up his new room, whilst both Dean and Cas shot him a weirded-out look.  
He had no idea just how right he was.

Jack was sat with his mother, his head in her lap when he began overhearing voices.  
This didn't sound like angel radio to him, no this was something different.  
Something felt off, it was like they were trying to warn him about something but he couldn't hear it properly.  
He sat up abruptly, startling Kelly. "Mom, how long until i go to see Castiel?" Jack questioned, worried.

"About 3 and half days, why sweetie?" She asked, concerned.

"Nothing, I just forgot to ask him something." He lied, not wanting to trouble her. 

Hopefully, this was something that could wait 3 days, he didn't aspire to provoke trouble by not adhering to the arrangement.  
Still, he couldn't shake the perception something was amiss. 

"Why are you doing this mother? You have nothing to gain, so I'm confused." The Demon asked, causing Sam to smirk a little as he mixed some ingredients for Rowena.

"Oh Fergus, I'm your mother, can I not do something kind for my own son." She said, genuine.

"Its Crowley! And no, not when you haven't done it in the last 350 years, don't mind if I'm not more than a little suspicious."

"Och, Fergus. Look, I know I can't make up for what happened, but can we at least try to move forward, we are both starting new chapters, can we not start afresh too?" Rowena questioned, feeling genuine guilt.

"I guess, now that we're not trying to kill one another, it does make sense," Crowley said scowling Sam on his way out in response to his soundless laughter.

The first step was bathing in the blood of a hellhound. 

With Crowley on their side, it was fairly easier in comparison to last time, he didn’t have it in him to relinquish Juliet, but he found one nonetheless. 

Sam reeked afterwards, he felt a little wishy-washy, but it was nothing a shower wouldn't fix. He couldn't, however, shake his need to talk to Rowena.  
After the other week, he'd started to develop affections for her and he wanted to clear the air so they could see where things would go freely. 

"Rowena we need to talk." He approached her tentatively.  


"What is it, Samuel?" She invited peering up from her desk, did he know?  


"It's Sam, please. And it's about the other week." He appended.  


"Look I get it. Ok. We don't need to discuss it. It was a mistake. A moment of madness between two lonely souls. Let’s leave it at that, shall we? No need for details." She let out hastily, knowing it couldn't be further from the truth but she couldn't risk being vulnerable, especially not with him and especially not now.  
Somehow she had held onto her reserve and managed not to cry.  


Sam was crushed.  
He had developed a real soft spot for the witch but now she had made her feelings clear he didn't want to encroach his boundaries so just left it alone.  
He was somewhat pissed, was that all it had been to her? A moment of madness when he had spent practically every day since replaying it in his head. It was safe to say Sam was hurt, but he respected her choice and left.

She was on the final step of completing the spell but decided she would hold off until the trials were complete as her help would be of more use with his damage than this spell, which was good, but could wait.


	21. I left, but you didn’t stop me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Sam

Next step was rescuing a soul from hell. 

Who were they to rescue was the question?  
Everyone turned to Crowley expectantly.  
"What?" He asked looking around at their questioning faces. 

"Is there anyone we might know, who shouldn't be there but is?" Sam asked. 

"Probably." He replied. 

"Oh c'mon Crowley enough with the drama just tell us and take us there so we can save someone," Dean said, rolling his eyes. 

"Eileen, Leahy." He answered. 

Sam's head darted up whilst Dean glanced over to his brother.

"Eileen. How? I know she was killed by a hellhound but." Sam started. 

"Them's the rules, Moose. You get chewed by a hound there's only one place you're going. You can be as good as you like." Crowley stated.  
Dean rolled his eyes at the demon for his lack of empathy. 

"Take me to go and get her, now," Sam demanded.

"I'm coming with," Dean proclaimed, recognising his brother wasn't in the right frame of mind. 

"No, you're not Dean. I'm doing the trials." Sam spoke. 

"So what? You might need back up." Dean added. 

"I'm going with the king of hell. I'm sure I'll be fine." Sam sassed. 

Dean was taken aback by his tone but didn't argue knowing his brother had also inherited their shared stubbornness from their parents. Truthfully Dean was trying to get out of the bunker to avoid having to talk about what had happened between him and Cas the other week as he was scared of the angel leaving him. 

"You'll get to spend time with her too because you won't be going through purgatory so her soul won't need to be transported inside you, sorry to disappoint," Crowley stated with a cheeky grin, Sam half-scowled in response. 

Sam didn't really know what to do with this information as his emotions were all over the place. Tensions were still running high with Rowena and the trial was beginning to get to him.  


Part of him felt guilty about the situation with Eileen. He had taken her death hard at the time so there was definitely some unfinished business.  
Sam packed all the things he needed and got ready to leave with Crowley.

Rowena was very unsettled by the whole situation.  


Yes, part of it was down to jealousy. But the majority was due to genuine concern for Sam.  
The trials were beginning to take their toll. It was obvious. She had wanted to help heal him but after her little blunder the other week the hunter had seemed somewhat annoyed by her so she tried her best to stay out of the way.  
That and the one time she had offered he'd brushed her off by saying that Jack would heal him anyway and that he wasn't her problem so she didn't have to worry about him. That had really angered her as she really did care for the man but it wasn't easy for a 400-year-old witch who hadn't felt like this in centuries to express feelings and translate them well. Still, she couldn't blame him for being angry but she was just worried.

Sam didn't even realise what he was doing until it was too late to turn back. 

What am I doing he thought to himself as he rolled off the bed waking the woman beside him up.

"Sorry Eileen, I didn't mean to wake you." He spoke softly

"I'm dead Sam, I don't need to sleep, I was just enjoying myself." She said 

That made one of them.  


He had been so overcome with emotion after what had happened over the past few weeks. When Eileen showed up at his motel room that night he couldn't help himself. He hadn't gone into this with the intention of sleeping with her, just to get her to the place she belonged and deserved.  
He felt so guilty.  
Like he had used her. He expected his feelings for Rowena to be gone but instead, they were more fierce than before. Why was this happening?  
Eileen could see the guilt on his face.

"Sam, you're a good man. I know this was just a one-time thing and that's OK, I am kinda dead.” She Joked, “It's ok to let me go, you need to find some happiness and stop blaming yourself for everything, that's more of a Dean thing." She said making the faintest smile play on his cheeks.

It was crazy, once he had considered that maybe he and Eileen could make it work until Ketch had ripped the chance from him, once upon a time that had caused him great anger and sadness.  
But now when he thought about forever he saw his redheaded witch, it was mad how he'd gone from loathing the woman to wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms.

"I'm sorry Eileen. I think it's time." He pressed a kiss on her cheek before watching her soul fly up towards heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
Let me know your thoughts in the comments, feedback is really appreciated.


	22. I’m sorry for being a… a dick lately.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too impatient to space out the uploads, hope you enjoy!

The final step. 

Curing a demon. 

"Don't even think about it boys. It’s not happening. I mean you saw the hodgepodge that happened last time. No way." Crowley asserted. 

"But Crowley, what does it matter? We're all on the same side now. It's not that important. That and I think I'd prefer you if you had a conscience that functioned all the time, rather than 25% of the time." Sam commenced. 

"Have I really gone that soft?" Crowley reflected aloud, causing everyone to roll their eyes, before proceeding, "I thought you were meant to be the smart one Moose," Crowley said as he read Dean's expression. 

"I'm sorry Sam but I'm with Crowley on this one. Think about it, we're about to lock away most of Demonkind and all the nasties that come with them in hell for all eternity. As awful as they are, their powers and knowledge have come in handy. I'm just saying. Having Crowley here as a demon makes a hell of a lot more sense than him being another mortal to add to the team." Dean declared. 

Sam contemplated this for a moment. It was true. But his head was fried. Between what had occurred between him and Eileen and then the whole mess with Rowena he didn't know what was going on. "Yeah, you're right actually. Sorry. I think I'm just a little worn out by the trials." Sam said. 

"Yeah well, luckily we have on hand an Angel, a witch and also a Nephilim. Take your pick, I'm sure either could fix you up real good." Sam didn't dare look up at Rowena but half grinned at his brother's remark. 

"Then what will we do about it?" Rowena inquired about the trial. 

"Boys. I think you are forgetting. I'm still the king." Crowley vanished and appeared within moments this time harbouring what seemed to be a woman with a bag on her head. "Shall we begin?" Crowley asked a smirk on his face, leading the demonic minion to what he referred to as the ’Kinky torture’ room. 

The boys could barely believe this was happening. 

Finally, they could say goodbye to years of horror and grief caused by demons. 

Sam was taking time to recuperate before the final trial, the trials had been much more unrelenting on him his time as he had been through it before. Dean had fought with him about doing the trials, but Sam had insisted.  
This time when she had offered, Sam had taken Rowena’s help. He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her, however.  
“Is this helping at all?” Rowena asked, worried for the Man.

“Uh- Yeah, yeah. Thank you.” Sam replied, feeling burning wheresoever her hands fluttered over him, not from pain, but from his own desire.

Rowena stopped for a minute, looking at the man, deliberating almost as though she could hear his mind race.  
“I believe I know an even more dependable cure,” Rowena uttered, piquing Sam’s curiosity.  
She leaned in, kissing him accordingly on the lips, he countered, full of passion, only halting when they heard footsteps in the hallway.

Dean and Cas sat in the kitchen as Dean swigged an Irish coffee.  
"I can't believe we're about to lock those sons of bitches down there forever... Man. This is going to be great.” Cas smiled fondly at the man, having wanted the same thing himself.  
“I don't know why something feels so off though. Like something is wrong, Cas. But I can't quite put my finger on it." Dean articulated. 

Cas looked at him confused. "I don't know Dean, I mean this is something I know you have wanted since I knew of you. What could possibly be wrong with it?" Cas queried.  
"There's nothing wrong with it, no. But I don't know, something feels…Oh crap." Dean realised, giving Cas a troubled look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
Comments and feedback are really appreciated!


	23. I'll keep swingin til I got nothin left.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three uploads in one day, RIP to my patience

"I'm sorry I can't fully heal you right now. But this is the best I can do with my current capacity." She tried to explain, still flustered from the kiss. 

"Are you alright Rowena. Why aren't you at full capacity?" Sam asked, a concerned frown playing on his face. 

"Oh, I've just been a wee tired lately. Nothing to dwell on. It'll pass." She brushed it off.  
Sam flashed her a soft smile in response sensing she was lying, but he was sure regardless of their quarrel that she would tell him if she saw fit. 

"Castiel. Any chance you could help a lady out?" Rowena queried the perplexed looking Angel standing in the doorway.  
Cas put two digits on Sam's head, recovering him further but not entirely.  
"I believe you and Dean have something to address. Regarding the hell gates, I'll be there in a minute." Cas said to Sam who responded and went to find his brother. 

"You're with child?" Cas asked Rowena, as soon as Sam was out of proximity.

"What? Shut up, you're being absurd, angel. I'm 400 years old. It’s not plausible." She lied. 

He placed a hand on her head and found out for himself.  
"That's why you're not at full aptitude. It explains the fainting, fatigue and queasiness too. But it is peculiar for someone of your age to be pregnant." Cas asked, pondering until the realisation hit. 

"Sam is the father. That's why. It makes sense now.” He smirked somewhat. “The tension. The looks. Your desire to see him smiling. I mean, of course, it would be a Winchester." Cas incited, if anything he knew the Winchester's capability to make the impossible, possible. 

"Please Angel, you're hardly one to talk about tension and stares." She rolled her eyes as he looked at her disconcerted and a little unnerved, referring to him and the older Winchester. 

"Och- Just don't tell anyone," Rowena asked tenderly. 

"I won't, but Sam deserves to know," Cas stated before sauntering off. 

"Shit. You're right," Sam responded. "He must loathe us, especially me." When he'd learned about Dean’s realisation.

"You're all off your rockers," Crowley declared. 

"It is precarious. After all these years. We don't know what to expect, what Michael could have done to him." Cas affirmed if anyone, he knew of the Archangels tendencies to be cruel. 

Dean was becoming increasingly agitated, the guilt gnawing at him harder than usual, "All of you stow your crap. After all these years. The least he deserves is to at least get out of there. Look, worst-case scenario, we put him in heaven's jail or we ice him.” He spoke to everyone.  
“But c'mon man. Adam deserved so much better. Like ok, Dad hid his existence from us because we didn't know how he almost died at birth but dude. He's your freaking twin man. He deserves better." Dean directed at Sam. 

"Yeah, yeah- you're right. We owe him. Especially as I'm the whole reason he was trapped there in the first place." Sam said, a guilty look on his face. 

"I’m as much to blame, for saying no to Michael, but that's not the point right now,” Dean reassured Sam.  


“Okay then. Cas and I will go and get him. As soon as we are done, complete the ritual. I want these bastards gone. No offence Crowley." Dean asserted, nodding at the King.

"None taken, after all, I want them gone too. As I said, they stabbed me in the back, I'll happily stab them in the front, the sides, and right up their little black-eyed asses," Crowley rejoined. 

"But Dean-" Sam started. 

"No buts. Just do it." Dean spoke firmly. 

Sam nodded in response, perceiving that Dean was not about to be argued with and began organising everything for the ritual. 

"Ok Crowley, Rowena. Let's go. If you need back up call Crowley." Dean told Sam as Crowley transported the four of them to Hell. 

Rowena and Crowley made swift work of the spell to penetrate the cage. I hadn't been easy to tame Michael and get him into the cuffs but before they knew it Cas and Dean had trapped Michael and were on their way.  
As they arrived back, Adam's body breathed back to life. 

“Dean?” Adam said.

“Adam, is that you?” Dean urged, approaching the man tentatively.

“Yeah, it is.” He returned as he became aware of his surroundings and the fact he was in angelic cuffs. “Where am I?” he questioned.

“You’re home,” Dean replied, “Speaking of, is Michael still there or?” he asked.

“Yeah, but he lets me have the wheel when I desire usually.” He said, astounding both Dean and Cas.

“Where is Sam?” Adam questioned, a slight aversion apparent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all good, thanks for reading!


	24. I'm sorry it took me til now to say it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what fuckery is this?
> 
> I promise more DeanCas is coming, I'm just building it up.
> 
> HAhA, Sam.

"Billie?" Dean said, imperceptibly on edge, catching Death on the way out of the bunker.

"Dean, you seem a lot perkier since the last time we met.” her eyes shifting, “Speaking of, Castiel, no hard feelings, right?" She addressed, Cas simply bowed his head in response. 

"What uh, what're you doing here?" Dean questioned, uneasy. 

"Calm down squirrel she was here to see me," Crowley said, smirking up at Billie.

"Yeah, but boys, stay on your guard," Billie warned, leaving them all feeling anxious when they regrouped and examined it. 

"Did she mention anything more to you, Crowley?" Sam searched. 

"No Moose, it’s not like she was here for much talking anyhow," Crowley smirked, taking a sip of his drink.

The boys looked at him somewhat grossed out by the overshare on Crowley's part.

"Dude, don't bring your booty calls here," Dean spoke. A look of annoyance on his features.

"Billie is not just a 'booty call' thank you, we have a special, affinity. Besides if you can keep yours here why can't I?" Crowley stated nodding towards the space between him and Cas to which Castiel tilted his head in bewilderment.

"W-what? Shut up, man! But seriously, anyone? Any thoughts on why DEATH just warned us to stay 'on our guard'?" Dean asked the seemingly ever-growing group, they all glanced at one another apprehensive about the possibilities of what awaited them.

"Sam. We need to talk," Rowena declared as she barged into his room. 

Oh god, she probably regretted their kiss yesterday and was going to leave him. Sam readied himself for the worst.  
"Sure, Rowena." He said smoothly, disregarding the turmoil in his brain. 

"I'm pregnant." She declared. 

"Y-you. What? What? How? Wait, what?" Sam sputtered. 

"I'm pregnant. I don't know how I mean I'M 400 YEARS OLD. How? I don't have the foggiest. But it’s happening." She panicked to Sam. 

Sam could see the alarm on her face. Despite him reflecting the feelings he was also elated but concluded he would try to reassure her.  
"Rowena. That's. That's amazing. I can't believe it. I mean, it is amazing. Right?" Investigating if the woman was as happy as he was. 

"It is. But Sam. I'm terrified." She uttered. For once she didn't try to act tough. She let her vulnerability show through. "What if something goes wrong? Or if you decide to change your mind and bequeath me? I've already tortured one child. I have never been a good mother to Fergus. What if I fail anew?"  
She said gazing deep into the Hunter's optics.  
"You don't need to be alarmed. I'm not going to disappear. I have your back, the whole way. And as for Crowley, who you were back then and who you are now. Its worlds apart. You're gonna be amazing. You already are, and I'll be there if it gets too much. I want this. If You do?" Sam said, taking her hands. 

"You do understand, this is the only child I will ever be able to give you Samuel. If it makes it- if I make it do you think we'd be enough for you?" Rowena sought earnestly. 

"Of course. Rowena. Eternally. I promise." Sam spoke softly as he embraced her. The fact that he was even getting this at all gave him the most joy. He'd never thought he'd actually have the chance to have his own family, especially after losing Eileen, so this news was wondrous to him.  
Now was to figure out a means to tell Dean. 

"Sam. I have important news. I need to speak with you. Immediately." Cas pronounced ushering Sam into the corridor. Leaving Rowena both worried and confused. 

"What's up, Cas?" Sam invited, slightly troubled by his tone. 

"I take it you know about Rowena?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, dude. I'm freaking thrilled. Wait does Dean know? I bet he's so mad." Sam began. 

“Adam is in the Kitchen,” Cas informed Sam, who was apprehensive.

"And as for your inquiry. No, I haven't told anyone. But there was an aberration found in heaven. One of the Winchester Variety. Quite literally." Cas began. 

"Wait, What do you mean? What kind of anomaly?" Sam quizzed. 

"I've never heard of it before. But one of the inhabitants of heaven is with-child." Cas appended. 

"How is that even conceivable, they’re all spirits or souls right?" Sam asked, bewildered. 

"As I said. It involves the Winchesters which means even the most bizarre of the bizarre could transpire and no one would bat an eyelid. More clearly. Yourself. You are the father. Eileen is expecting." Cas informed.

Sam about lost his balance at the words as he looked at Castiel with an expression somewhere amidst alarm and disturbance plastered on his face.

"Oh god Cas, Rowena is going to hate me." Sam shook his head in exasperation. 

"I'm sure you can work it out," Cas said, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before shifting to leave until he detected Rowena.

"I'll uh excuse myself." He said disappearing. 

"Care to explain Samuel." Her resonance somewhat intimidated Sam.


	25. Pay attention to me, I'm bored!

"Look, Rowena. This was when we weren't really speaking. I know it's not really an excuse but I was pretty messed up because I assumed that you hated me and then because of the trials I got to see Eileen again and we had a lot of unfinished business. Her passing, it hit me pretty hard. I was a wreck. But then you came along and out of nowhere, I saw another side to you. The Rowena that cares, that is an exceptional person y' know. I just, I can't say I regret what happened with Eileen because it was like closure for me, I know I shouldn't have let it go as far as I did but I was so mad at you when you said you didn't care about what happened, because I did care. I still do. But that fact that I hurt you or upset you, that I do regret. For that, I'm really sorry." Sam explained, stressed out of his mind. 

"Why would I be upset? It’s not like we were together at the time. And considering everything I've done to you in the past, this is nothing." Rowena shrugged it off. It was true, and she did mean it, but she couldn't help the insane envy she was feeling. What would this mean for them? Did he still want her? Would he still want their child the same? Or would he abandon her like Fergus' wretched father had done to her all those centenaries ago? 

Almost as though he had heard the apprehension in her mind he stepped closer, observing for any signs of resistance from her before he drew her in for a tight embrace, relaxing as he realised she wasn't fighting him.  
"Rowena, this doesn't change how I feel about you at all. Yes, I will always care for Eileen, and now I suppose our child. But she was my past, regardless of all this she won't be able to keep the child in heaven with her much because it’s a living being which means it will have to be in the land of the living, but Eileen can't just leave heaven like that. Would you be ok with helping me, or even just accepting the child into our lives?" Sam asked, hesitating before asking the question and then holding the witch's hands to comfort her. "That doesn't reduce your value or our child's Value in the slightest, but I won't abandon either of these children. That's not who I am or what I'm about. I care way too much about you to lose you. Please don't make me have to choose because I can't and won't." Sam pleaded. 

"I'm not gonna ask you to choose. But I am gonna ask you for time. I need to get my head around all of this and see if we can make this work together or if it’s better if we work it out apart." As much as it killed her to say it, she needed time, everything was piling up so quickly. This thing, whatever it was between them was so new, and still a secret.  
"Oh and if there's anyone else you wanna do, do them now. I won't be having it if you're lucky enough to get me." She spoke.  
She wanted to be with Sam but she needed to make sure he wanted it too. She was not about to stand about and be messed around.  
Sam was hurt, but he understood.  
The situation was only so complicated because of his actions, so there wasn't much he could do other than completing the trial.

"It's funny, all this time- ow- you've been pumping me full of blood, yet you haven’t recognised my voice... You never asked who I am, Sammy." The Demon vocalised as Sam withdrew the needle.

"It's Sam and that's probably because I don't care." He asserted firmly, not having looked at the demon under the bag.

"Are you positive about that? Because, we knew each other, intimately. In more than one way." She stated, piquing Sam's interest. 

"Tell me then, if you think I'll care," Sam spoke. 

"You know, you probably could have got that full ride, but without me, you did what I said you would. You crashed and burned, quite literally." She spoke. 

"N-no. No! Shut up, you're a liar. Shut up." Sam yelled in disbelief, dread building up within him at her words. 

"Why would I lie? How would I know that? Maybe you should get this thing off my head, see for yourself." She spat.  
He reluctantly removed the trap off of her head, tottering when he saw the Demon’s appearance, dread flooding through him.

"No," Sam whispered in hysteria, running out the room. 

"Woah Woah Woah Sam! Hey, what's wrong?" Dean grabbed Sam as he almost collapsed from a fusion of exhaustion and delirium. "Cas you stay with him," Dean said, signalling towards Adam. 

Before Sam could answer, he caught sight of Adam only furthering his hysteria. "Dean...is that?" Sam managed to get out.

"Yes, its Adam. Now tell me what’s wrong," Dean responded, leading Sam to a seat in the library.  
"What's wrong Sammy?" Dean asked, troubled by his brother’s state. 

"I can't do it." Sam breathed. 

"Do what?" Dean urged. 

"The trial. I can't Dean." Sam said, on the verge of a breakdown. 

"Do you need healing?" Dean questioned, worried. 

"No the Demon... It's Jess. The Demon is, Jess." Sam said, grief evident in his expression.


	26. We're all going to hell, might as well enjoy the ride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh no Sam

“You think this is some kind of sick joke?” Dean yelled, storming up to Crowley.

“What? I haven't done anything as of late, we’re officially friends now remember? Hell gates ring a bell?” Crowley stated, genuinely confused as to why the hunter would be mad at him.

“Yeah, like you didn't know who that demon in there was!” Dean roared.

“That's because I don't know, I just picked the first one in sight. I swear!” Crowley asserted.  
Dean knew the Demon well enough to know he was telling the truth and so proceeded to find Cas so they could come up with a way to support Sam.

“What's the matter, Fergus?” Rowena inquired, worried by the look on his face.

“Moose is in a quandary about some Demon I got for the trial, got no idea why though,” Crowley stated.

“Well, is he alright?” She asked, genuinely concerned.

“I don't know, why don't you go and ask him, mother.” Crowley rejoined, disappearing to his chamber.

“He’s a mess Cas, I haven’t seen him like this in years, I don't get it.” Dean fretted, “I mean I understand someone you care about coming back from the dead could be hard, and I guess them coming back as a demon would be even harder to swallow but- this, nah man, this can’t just be about Jess.” Dean deliberated to Cas.

“It could be the stress of the trials and everything else, piling on, seeing Adam earlier seemed to worsen it too. I mean I remember when you came back as a Demon Dean, it was devastating, I couldn’t fathom it, let alone accept or process it and I’m an Angel, you guys perceive things a lot heavier than I deem I do- especially you, you feel things so much more acutely than most humans. But even though his passions aren’t always as severe as yours, for Sam, this must be catastrophic.” Cas relayed to Dean.  
Truthfully the Angel was feeling bad about not being able to tell Dean the whole truth, but he could try to comfort him with words as best he could.  
Dean was slightly taken aback by Cas’ perception, but he welcomed the expression nevertheless. He hadn’t realised that his actions had affected Cas to the point where it induced sentiments, but he did appreciate it.

“Cas what's wrong?” he asked, hurrying over to the angel who was wincing, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Dean, its Jack, he needs my help,” Cas said, a concerned look on his face.

“Sam, are you alright?” Rowena asked, stepping into his room.

“Y-yeah.” He spoke, eyes brimming with tears.

“No you’re not, don't attempt that male bravado thing with me, talk to me.” She responded, worried for the man.  
Sam gazed up at her, a meagre gleam of hope in his eyes. Did this signify that she still cared about him despite the mess he had created between them?

“It’s just two people I cared about, coming back from the dead like this on top of everything else, the trials. It’s just... Draining, to say the least, but I’ll be ok, don't worry about me, you should be worrying about yourself and the baby.” He dismissed, not understanding what to do and not wanting to mess the woman around whilst he was still a confusing mess.

Rowena wasn't convinced but knew he didn't need an argument with her right now to add to his pile, she simply told him “You know I’m here for you, just do whatever feels right to you- if it works that's great, if not, then try something else. Just don't let this weigh on you for too long.” She expressed, leaving the room.  
Truthfully, Jess being back had messed with him something foul, he'd thought about her every day up until recently. He didn't know where his head was at, between the pain and fatigue from the previous trials despite Rowena and Cas’ best efforts, and two ex-girlfriends coming back from the dead- one being a demon and the other pregnant and in heaven. Then there was also his current situationship with Rowena and on top of that Rowena also being pregnant, it was safe to say his mind was in mayhem.


	27. Your problem is that no one can hate you more than you hate yourself. Trust me, I tried.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can you believe I'm actually sticking to my daily uploads, wow?
> 
> Warning: non-con

“No way man, it’s too risky, last time you had Jack up there with you, and they still threatened you, you think it’s going to be any easier this time around? Nah, it’s not happening,” Dean disputed with Cas about his need to check on Jack.

“Besides the kid will be back here in a few days anyway, right? I’m sure it can wait.” He added.

“But Dean, why would he call me from heaven if it wasn't of import. I have to go.” Cas said, defying Dean.

“No Cas. I’m not having you dying on me again.” He expressed the fear and grief evident in his eyes.

“Dean. Joshua is there, he won’t harm me. You can come and wait at the gates if it would help?” Cas emphasised.

“Actually, I think we could one better than that,” Dean remarked, finally agreeing to go along with Cas but on his own terms.

“Oh, my, Sammy, how you’ve- improved. I could eat you up. Literally.” the Demon vocalised.

Sam scoffed, this was a far cry from the cheeky, lovable, happy-go-lucky Jess he once knew.  
Even the way she looked was a far cry from the Jess he once loved.  
Her hair was no longer honey blonde, but harsh platinum, she wore blood-red lipstick and a striking red leather dress that showed... everything.  
“Why did you wait so long to tell me who you were?” Sam asked.

“Because, where's the fun in that? A little suspense is always sure to get you in the mood, I’m sure.” She smirked, her ill intentions beginning to show through.

Sam ignored her flirtations, simply questioning her further “How did you end up in hell? Jess, you were so amazing, I-I don't understand.” Sam asked, crouching down by the demon, scanning for even the slightest glimpse of his Jess.

“Because of you.” She addressed sincerely for the first time since she opened her mouth to Sam.

He had already grasped deep down that it was his fault but hearing it made it even worse.  


Now was her moment to strike.  
Before Sam knew it he was pinned down on the floor with Jess atop of him.  
“What the hell are you doing?” Sam yelled as she unbuttoned his shirt, holding him down with her demonic grip.

“What, I was feeling a little nostalgia?” She remarked, sitting directly on his crotch.

“You’re sick, my Jess would never have done something like this.” He spat, as she unbuttoned his trousers.

“You’re Jess died 13 years ago. She went to hell and all they did was taunt her about you! She still loved you, but then she found out you’d shacked up with a demon, and that broke my heart, but I still resisted, but when I heard you’d gone dark, I couldn’t do it. So I gave in, figured what's the point- if I’m here for eternity, I might as well enjoy it.” She sneered, indistinct tears were apparent in her eyes.

“I’m really sorry, Jess. I- what are you doing?!” He stammered as he felt her heat envelop his endowment.

“What do you think?” She replied, her eyes flashing black as she began setting a pace.

“Why? G-get off.” he grunted, illogically feeling the pleasure of her body.

“To get back what I lost. So shut up, and enjoy the ride.”She said, leaving Sam frustrated and conflicted.  
Sam couldn’t stop feeling guilty because of Rowena, yet the sentiment of being with Jess, it was unnervingly familiar.

“Dean, if this doesn’t work, I’m going to go up there,” Cas stated.  
Dean gave him a look of disapproval as he found a parking spot for the car.

“Dammit, Cas. Why don’t you care about what happens to you? Why don’t you value yourself?” Dean raised his voice, frustrated at the Angel’s lack of self-worth.

“I could say the same to you, but now is not the time. We need to go, they won’t wait.” Cas said, getting out of the vehicle.  
Dean glanced at him in defeat but followed nevertheless.

“Castiel! Dean, how are you?” Jack said, delighted to see them.

“We’re fine Jack,” Cas answered, “Is everything alright? You called me from heaven?” Cas whispered to Jack as Dean kept sight on the two hostile Angels stood several measures away, throwing them a cheeky grin.

“Castiel, something is wrong. I’ve been hearing whispers. Not from my father, but someone more powerful. He isn’t pleased with us. I don't know why, but you need to be careful, please. I know it doesn't sound like its that serious, but the feeling I got when I heard him, he felt bitter, dangerous. So i assumed it would be best to tell you, just in case.” Jack emphasised to his father figure.  
Castiel was troubled by the news, looking at Dean with a look of knowing.  
The two angels stepped forward indicating it was time for Jack to go back to heaven.

“It’s ok, I’m safe here. They’ve warded my room against every known threat, so people can only know where I am if I reach out to them first.” Jack assured the worried-looking men. “I should be back home in 5 days 3 hours and 57 minutes.” Jack smiled at the men.

“Keep safe Jack,” Cas advised, giving him a hug.

“I will, you too,” Jack responded.

“Yeah Kid, thanks for letting us know, and I- I didn't get to apologize to you before, but I hope you know, I didn't mean the things I said. I was messed up at the time and I guess, I wanna say that-” Dean opened.

“Its okay Dean, really, I understand,” Jack answered, taking the man by surprise, embracing him.

Dean and Cas shared a silent communication through their expressions once Jack had returned to heaven, worrying about what they were about to have hurled at them.


	28. Yeah, welcome to the club.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I realised I have another 15 chapters written for this, and I'm still currently writing -
> 
> I'm going to finally give the chapters' names, probably using quotes from the show.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“Rowena, I think you would be better off without me,” Sam said shakily, walking into her room.

“Excuse me?” She replied, taken aback, observing him. 

“Trust me, you don't want me, my mess. You're better off without it. I can be there for our child, but you deserve someone better.” Sam said as though he was disgusted by himself.

“What happened Samuel?” the witch asked, confused about the sudden change, “got someone else pregnant?” She joked, chuckling at her own joke until Sam’s face dropped further.

“Unfortunately, it’s possible,” Sam responded, wiping the smile from Rowena’s face. “I’m sorry, I can't lie to you. You deserve more, I’m sorry.” He said, turning to leave before being  
stopped by Rowena.

“Who?” Was all she asked.

“My dead, demoniac ex-girlfriend. You can thank Crowley for that.” He said scornfully, knowing it wasn’t really Crowley’s fault but wanting someone else to indict.

“The demon you were using for the trial?” Rowena asked, placidly. She was hurt but wasn't sure if she was outraged or upset for the man, she couldn’t determine.

“Yeah, I am sorry, truly. She managed to get out of the trap and pinned me down. I’m not using it as a defence, I just want to be upright, its the least you deserve.” He spoke,  
unquestionably defeated.

Wait she'd- “I'm so sorry that happened to you Sam, it's wrong, but as I said earlier- I need time.” Was all Rowena answered in rejoinder, “Thank you for the honesty though. I'm here if you wanna talk...” She attached.

Sam flashed her an apologetic half-smile, leaving her room.

“Crowley, get me another demon now please,” Sam ordered.

“What happened to the last one, you let it go?” Crowley challenged, his expression quickly falling after seeing the broken look on the legacy's face.

“Just get me another one,” Sam demanded.

“Fine, but squirrel won’t be pleased,” Crowley said, disappearing.

As if on queue Dean strolled in, “Man it’s been crazy around here lately, we only have 4 spare rooms left!" Dean exclaimed.

"What? How? I thought we had 11." Sam asked genuinely surprised. 

"Me, you and Cas have had a room each for ages. Then Jack came along, Rowena moved in, Crowley is moving in and then there's Adam & Michael." Dean explained. 

“Wow, that's, crazy." Sam said unenthusiastically.

“Ok, what's wrong?” Dean asked Cas entered the room, grasping somewhat what was obverse and so feeling disagreeable about hiding it from his best friend.

“Jessica is gone,” Sam stated swallowing thickly as he awaited his brother’s wrath.

“Dude, what? You let her go?” Dean tried to be delicate but was furious.

“She got the drop on me, I asked Crowley for another Demon.” Sam replied, not telling Dean the whole truth knowing he'd go on insane request for revenge.

“Yeah, okay. Well, you need to complete this trial, Cas can fix you up a bit- Jack will be here in a few days to heal you properly and Crowley is going to get you a demon- this needs to be done. We have other seemingly bigger fish to fry.” Dean stated.

Sam knew Dean was pissed, he evaded the matter as he regularly did when he was mad.  
Amongst his brother’s numerous finer qualities, Dean also possessed an extraordinary capacity to hold a grudge. Nothing his family’s done to him ever left; it just immersed deeper beneath the exterior, overtaken by the latest infraction yet lurking still, waiting to be dredged up from hiding when the moment was right. Then seven months or three years later, there it would be, abruptly reaching out in striking print like it was never eradicated, never faded under the mass of all the other indictments accumulated on top of it. Needless to say, earning Dean’s forbearance was an insurmountable feat. 

“Why what’s happened?” Sam questioned, regarding the bigger fish.

“We got a warning from both Death itself and Jack about something coming, all in the space of 3 days, if that isn't bigger fish, I don't know what is,” Dean said, going to grab a beer.  
Sam and Cas followed him into the kitchen where Michael was still sitting.

“I can't believe you actually listened,” Dean said to the archangel possessing his brother.

“Solely because Adam told me to listen to you, otherwise I have no inclination to,” Michael said.

“Speaking of, I think Adam needs the spotlight. He and Sam here need to talk.” Dean said, leaving with Cas to research what the warnings could be about.

"Hey Adam uh, how are you?" Sam asked awkwardly. 

"Fine. You look like crap." Adam answered sharply. 

"Yeah it’s because of the-" Sam started. 

"Trials to close hell, I heard." The older twin responded. 

They sat in awkward silence until Sam spoke up, "Look, Adam, I know there's nothing I can do to make what happened right." Adam scoffed but remained quiet. "But there was no other choice. You understand. Lucifer had to be contained otherwise he would've killed everyone." Sam pointed out. 

"Yeah, I get that. But you. You always treated me like an outcast. I get that when you found out about my existence it was a shock I get that but that was down to dad wanting to protect me, yes it wasn't the best idea but he was grieving mom and he didn't want to lose me too- I mean I spent my life on a ventilator until I was 13. But you, despite being my twin, be it non-identical. You always cast a jaundiced glance at me. And then when you got caught up in all that mess with Azazel, and the Demon blood, you thought you were better than me because Azazel chose you. You were nothing but arrogant and selfish and that's the reason I ended up in the cage, and why I'm only out now after 9 years! I mean you managed to go to the cage to talk to Lucifer but you couldn't spare me a second thought? If I'm out now it's definitely not because of you, but because Dean remembered, he remembered but my twin forgot." Adam ranted.  
Before Sam got a chance to make a counter-argument his eyes flashed azure indicating Michael was speaking, "Adam needs some rest. He's done talking to you for the moment and hopes you don't approach him without reason or unless he approaches you first." He informed Sam as he got up to leave. 

At least he could add both his brothers being mad at him to his pile. 

But right now, he needed to attend to a demon and shut the gates to hell.


	29. Don't make me lose you too.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry, its a bit :/

"Ok its all here Fergus. Just before Sam says the spell I say this and you get your wee portal." She told him. 

"Are you, alright mother, you seem a little, dare I say- melancholy?" Crowley questioned, genuinely confused. 

"Och-I'm fine, just tired. Working up to two big spells at once can be a draining process, especially ones that are so big." She informed him.  
He eyed her suspiciously, not believing her, but going along with it, not wanting to cause a fuss. 

Everyone gathered in room 7B, awaiting the completion of the final trial.  
Sam looked rough, Rowena noted as she laid out the materials for her spell.  
She did want to be with him, he caused feelings to stir up inside her that she thought weren't possible for her to feel anymore. But his actions over the last few weeks, granted not entirely his fault, had left her uncertain of if he would be able to stay with her long term because her long term was a lot longer than most. 

"So these are your friends?" Adam asked Dean, curious. The last time it had just been his brothers, Bobby and Castiel. 

"Uh- Yeah. We've got a Seraphim, the Demonic King of hell, one of the most powerful Witches ever and a Nephilim. I'd like to add you to that, but I won't push." Dean told Adam, an unsure half-smile on his face. 

"What, so you can add Archangel to the list? Where is Bobby?" Adam remarked, "There's a Nephilim? I don't sense it, where is it?" Michael inquired.  
Dean was confused by the harmonious switch. 

"No Adam, so I can add my other brother to the list like I wanted to in the first place. We didn't make a bad team back in the day. But like I said I won't push." Dean stated, eyeing him carefully, "Bobby is sorta here, its a long story but there was a rift between worlds and our bobby was long dead and then Cas found the bobby of that world, he lives here now"  
"And Michael, yes, its because your nephew is in heaven. With his mom at the moment, being Lucifer's kid he's actually a good one." Dean stated.  
Michael was intrigued. Lucifer had a son... It had been centuries since he'd last come across a Nephilim but back then his father had ordered them to be destroyed. 

Adam walked out pondering about how much he had missed and how much had changed. 

Rowena cleared her throat indicating she was ready to do the spell, everyone gathered and watched her do her work until Crowley had a glowing red portal the size of a coin ready to be tested as Sam finalised the demonic purification ritual. 

"Kah nuh ahm dahr," Sam uttered, watching the demon turn human as his arms glowed orange causing him to wince. 

"Sam, are you ok? Dean asked his younger brother who was gasping from the pain and he fell to his knees. "Sammy?" Dean yelled, rushing to his side, Rowena and Cas joining him. 

"Gah- I'm ok. I'm ok Dean." Sam said breathlessly. 

"Did it work?" Dean asked. 

Crowley flashed in and out a few times. 

"I'd say it did, a bit of a ruckus going on downstairs. I'll sort it out when I care." Crowley informed them. 

"I need a drink" was all Dean said, before he could leave, Sam collapsed on the floor startling everyone. 

"SAM."


	30. Empathy, man. Empathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opinions?

"What's wrong with him Cas?!" Dean ordered, Cas leaned over Sam examining him for internal injury.  
Rowena stood there attempting to hold herself together, so much so that it earned her a questioning look from Crowley. 

"It’s not good Dean. Rowena and I can do our best but his damage is on a subatomic level. We need Jack." Cas stated.

"But he's not back for like 3 days, how long can you and Rowena keep him breathing?" Dean asked distress etched on every iota of his profile. 

"A day, maybe." Castiel estimated. It was not what Dean wanted to hear. 

"I need that drink," Dean declared, storming off, Cas trailing him. 

As they walked into the kitchen, Adam was sitting there at the table, a blank expression on his face.

“Yeah, I almost forgot you love kitchens because you love food almost as much as I do.” Dean managed to quip.

“Yeah, ’forgot’ being the operative word,” Adam mumbled.

“I’ll go check on Sam,” Cas announced leaving the two brothers to talk.  
Dean sighed in frustration, walking over to his younger brother taking the seat opposite him.

"Look, Adam, sometimes, given my line of work and the experiences I've had I guess I forget that life is actually really brittle. I’m not gonna spew any crap excuses to you. I did try a few times to see if I could get you out, they clearly didn't happen. You’re mad we didn't get you out and so you should be. I’ve been a crappy brother. But I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I hope you can one day find it in you to forgive me, I understand if you can’t, but I don't wanna lose any more family. I lost dad years ago, mom came back and then lucifer killed her and then I lost Cas for a while a few weeks back and now I’m losing Sammy. I hope I don't lose you too.”

“Why what's wrong with Sam?” He urged, sitting up straight as his twinstinct kicked in for the first time in over a decade.

“Sam please, you need to persevere. You have children on the way. They need you. But more than anything… I need you. Dammit, I need you, Sam. You’re a fool, but I forgive you. We can make this work. On my terms of course. But Sam, you need to wake up.” Rowena susurrated to the unconscious man, touching his hair.

“Care to explain mother?” Crowley vocalised from the doorway, startling the witch.

“Now is not the time Fergus!” Rowena sneered.

“See I think it is. Unless you have an expeditious report for all those tears.” He appended, much to Rowena’s annoyance.

“He’s dying Adam. the trials, they really did a number on him. Cas and Rowena are trying to keep him alive until Jack, Lucifers- well I guess Cas, Sam and my surrogate son to get here in a few days- he's the Nephelim. But it’s all down to whether Sam makes it that long or not. I guess you may be pleased to know the hell gates have been closed, permanently, thanks to Sam.” Dean informed Adam, anguish manifested in his eyes, the same agony Adam used to observe several years ago, more burdened though now but it caused Adam to feel, dejected?

Adam gazed at him blankly for a few moments. Unbeknownst to Dean having a consultation with Michael.

“Please Michael, for me?” Adam asked the Archangel.

“I thought you detested him for letting us- you rot in hell?” Michael countered.

“I don't loathe him, he's my little brother, twin in fact. I’m angry at him, I’m not ready to forgive him. But I don't want him to die, Michael. Imagine if this was you and Lucifer were in Sam's position, despite everything, I know you wouldn’t let him die.” Adam presented.

“Well,” Michael commenced.

“Don’t even try to deny it, Michael, don't forget I know what's really in your heart,” Adam said.

“For you, I’ll do it.” Michael gave in.

Dean looked up at Adam as his orbs blazed cerulean implying Michael was in the limelight.

“You’re an idiot. I recognised that the instant you answered ‘No’, Dean. Fortunately for you, Adam discerned, you don't need to wait for Lucifer’s spawn.” Michael started before being cut off.

“What he’s trying to say is that you have the utmost preeminent Archangel right here,” Adam implied.

“Wait, Michael is gonna help, Sam?” Dean doubted.

“Unless you want to take the risk of waiting three days,” Adam remarked.

“No, it’s fine,” Dean returned, somewhat mitigated.

“It makes sense he is an Archangel,” Dean stated, arms folded.

“Yes but Nephilim are strong, much stronger than angels” Cas asserted

“What about the oldest and most predominant Archangel though?” Crowley responded,

“I don't know. But Jack is the son of an Archangel. His powers are immense. He could possibly rival Michael and maybe even…” Cas stated, “But that's not the point right now.” he appended.

“What Chuck? You think he has the juice for that?” Dean asked, momentarily glancing up from Sam.

“I know he does,” Cas replied.

"Will you all be quiet?" Rowena hissed, her nerves getting the better of her, causing Dean to be mildly taken aback.

Michael entered the room his demeanour exuded power, everyone stepped aside waiting to see if the Archangel could revive Sam.  
“I’d advise you to shield your eyes,” He spoke, hovering his palms over Sam’s temples as the blinding white blaze let off from him.


	31. So instead of choosing the world, you choose each other.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back?

“It worked,” Michael stated.  
Sam sputtered awake taking a tremendous gasp as he sat up abruptly.

“Thank you, Michael,” Dean spoke sincerely

“It was Adam’s decision. He just needs to rest for a few days and he should be fine.” Michael added, taking a look at Sam and then leaving the room.

“What?” Sam uttered, gathering his surroundings as Dean and Rowena let out gasps of relief. “Did it work?” Sam inquired, sounding and looking debilitated.

“Yeah, Sammy. You did it. They’re all gone.” Dean pronounced an elated grin as he squeezed his youngest sibling.  
Sam felt that he had finally finished what he had started all those years ago.  
He took a minute to let it all sink in. Looking around at all his family and friends.  
After the years of heartbreak and torment at the hands of Demons and their operations, it was all belatedly over.  
“We did it.” Sam responded emotionally.

“So, you fancy him? Is that it?” Crowley suggested.

“Shut up Fergus and give me the bottle.” She gestured at his hand.

“No. You’ve been behaving weird for weeks. When Mary and feathers died, it made sense but these last few weeks, you just seem to be getting more and more invested. I wouldn’t’ve noticed if you were acting the same with Dean but all your focus and good intentions seem to be concentrated around Sam, so inform me of what exactly is going on and I’ll hand you the bottle.” Crowley bargained.

“Fine. Yes I like the man, but don’t fret, there is nothing going on. I’m sure I’ll be over it when this spell is done, its probably because I’ve been focused on it. Don't start, I don't wanna hear it.” She fabricated.

“Why would I start? It’s an odd match, yes. But upon the thought, I think you’d be suited to each other, shockingly. You could help loosen him up a little and he could help you just be better I guess.” Rowena was both imperceptibly insulted and taken aback by Crowley’s reception. Still, she didn't think now was the time to reveal her fertility to him.

“Thank you, Fergus. Now may I?” She replied, getting the bottle from the demon.

“Cas, let’s go to the study, I think it’s about time we had that ch-” Dean started, annoyed once he was interrupted.

“Where are we?” Dean turned around to find his source of irritation only to be left gawking in response.  
Cas and Dean exchanged a momentary look of confusion and turned back to the two.  
Sam wandered in moments later, a perplexed expression matching Dean when he joined Dean and Cas stood in the midst of the room.

“Dad? Mom?” Dean muttered.

“Excuse me?” John asked.

“Where are we?” Mary followed.

“What are you doing here?” Sam questioned, adding “wait why are they so young?”

“Okay, that's too many questions,” Dean declared, steadying himself.

“Did you just say, mom and Dad?” John questioned Dean.

“Wait, John, where's Dean?” Mary implored John, as they looked around the room panicking.

“Who are you people and where is my baby?” Mary directed at the triad.

“My name is Dean, this is my youngest brother Sam and my Angel best friend Castiel,” Dean said in response.

“What, what is he talking about?” John asked.

“Welcome to the future,” Michael announced, walking in from behind John and Mary, joining the boys. His eyes blazing cerulean and face falling in realisation.

“Wait, Dean, that's-” Adam said.

“Mom and Dad.” Dean asserted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably post another chapter in a few hours bc I'm impatient


	32. Nobody gets that angry unless they’re talking about their own family.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oop

“Okay stop. Why do you keep saying that? We aren’t your parents. Our Dean is a baby.” Mary affirmed.

“Okay let me try again, My name is Dean, Dean Winchester, that is my little brother Adam, his younger twin, Sam and this is my best friend Cas. You are in the year 2020.” Dean stated.

“Oh, god,” Mary said.

“Actually he left,” Cas stated.

“Uh Cas, let’s not add to the confusion right now,” Sam spoke.

“How? How are we in the future?” John asked.

“I might be able to shed a light on that later, but right now guys. It’s mother, I need your help.” Crowley beckoned.

“What? Rowena? What's wrong with her? Sam asked, hurrying forward to Crowley.

“We did a spell to bring them back for you guys. I think she must’ve used too much power or something because she just passed out, that was around 3 am last night and hasn’t woken up since.” Crowley relayed.

“Where is she?” Sam demanded.

“Woah easy tiger, uh Adam, could you watch them, please? Maybe take them to a room to nap it off?” Dean asked.

“Uh yeah, sure,” Adam answered, clearly uneasy. Dean shot him an extenuating smile before trailing Sam.

“Rowena, it’s me, Sam. Can you hear me? Sam summoned, touching her hand after Cas had examined her vitals.

“She's alive but extremely weak,” Cas notified Sam

“How weak Cas?” Sam asked.

“As in we could use Jack,” Cas informed.

“Cas heal her.” Sam pleaded.

“I’ve done what I can, for now, heaven isn't at full strength yet so nor are my powers,” Cas told

“Screw heaven! Fix her!” Sam sounded.

“Hey Sammy, it’s okay, Calm down. We’ll figure it out.” Dean reasoned

“Yeah, it’s easy for you to say that it’s not your heart or baby on the line here,” Sam muttered, immediately wanting to smack himself for letting it out so harshly.

“Uh, you wanna repeat that?” Dean urged.

“She's gravid?” Crowley asked.

Sam inclined his head in answer.  
“Yes, she’s pregnant, with my child,” Sam unveiled, shocking Dean out of his skull. He knew they’d become friendly but this was on another level. Even Crowley was floored.

“You need to help her, please.” Sam pleaded.

“Rowena and Sam.” Dean attempted to arrange his thoughts.

“Yes Dean,” Cas replied.

“Wait, you’re not shocked. Why?” Dean questioned.

“I knew, I found out a week ago, Sam made me promise, I couldn't disrespect his wishes.” Cas returned.  
Dean couldn’t even be angry at the angel for being loyal.

“Jesus Cas, any other surprises?” Dean asked. 

“Yes, but it’s not my place to say,” Cas told, earning him a look of annoyance from Dean. 

“I can’t believe I’m gonna be an uncle. I never thought a baby Winchester would be born again, what with the lives we live." Dean thought aloud, "I’m kinda bummed that he beat me to it, but I don't think that's on the cards for me.” he added, Cas felt something in the pit of his stomach, he couldn't quite detect what it was though.

“Why not ask Michael to heal mother?” Crowley suggested, walking into the kitchen.

“Just to hear a no, I’m good thanks,” Dean said.

“It’s worth a try though, long shots are your speciality.” Crowley pointed out as Dean let out a sigh of indignation, going to find Adam.

“My loyalty is to Adam, while he may be your brother, what he wants is more important. Being as this is my first time being topside in 21’392 pit years, I could use a trip to heaven to replenish my grace, particularly after what I’m about to do” Michael stated.

“And that is?” Dean urged.

“Give your parents a memory jog and fill in a few gaps of say, the past 15 years?” Michael familiarised.

“Ah well, yeah. I guess that's uh important.” Dean replied.

“But I thought Archangel's grace is self-sufficient, particularly yours?” Cas stated, doubtful.

“It is, I just want an excuse to survey the situation upstairs before deciding on mine and Adams' next steps.” Michael said, worrying both Dean and Cas in particular, considering what he had done to heaven.


	33. Come on, man. Don't quote me to me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it'll pick up soon

Michael stepped out of the bedroom.  
“It worked but they are ‘napping it off’, they should awaken by tomorrow, they’re dreaming it all out at the moment,” Michael apprised Dean and Cas.

“I believe we need to be somewhere,” Michael said to Castiel, as they started for heaven.

“Let's put aside any malice, for now, it’ll make this much more straightforward” Cas proposed.

“Look, I'm the oldest being after The Shadow, Amara, Death and Chuck. You really think Lucifer could break me so much so that I couldn’t recuperate. After them, I am the strongest being. It’s all falsifications, why would he do that? I don't understand. I always loved him, I obeyed him but he didn't care. Not enough to at least take me out of the cage out of care, notwithstanding my state, he healed Lucifer from the damage Amara caused but he couldn’t even attempt to help me? I mean granted you guys were late but at least before sealing the gates you had the propriety to take Adam out regardless of what state you’d imagined he’d be in.” Michael let out frustrated.

“I’m sorry, but that's what our father does Michael, he doesn't really care, not about any of us, he only ever cared about Lucifer, who he said disappointed him but, who knows,” Cas said. “I understand your frustrations, I really do, I felt similar ones when Lucifer was occupying my vessel,” Castiel apprised his eldest brother.

“That's seeming to be the case,” Michael replied in rejoinder to his much younger brother.

“Still, I’d like to talk to him before I made a judgement,” Michael spoke as they went through the portal.  
“We need to do something about getting you your wings back, all this having to transport you is rather tedious,” he added.

“Huh, still the same. I’ll tell you something though, I am feeling much better now.” Michael said in reference to him being back at full strength.

“Now let’s find the boy.” He added, following Castiel. 

“Castiel, the power in heaven just went off the-” Joshua walked out of a room with two other angels, “Michael?” Joshua questioned, startled. 

“Joshua.” Michael Acknowledged, nodding his head.

“I thought… how? When did you get out of the pit?” Joshua asked, puzzled.

“Don't worry, I’m not here to stay. I’m just here to get, well my nephew, I suppose.” Michael addressed.

“That's all well and good Michael, but without the both of you, the power will-” Joshua began.

“It will be fine Joshua, I'm back, I can keep it up even from down there, I think you’ve forgotten I am more substantial than Raphael or any other Angel for that matter, ” Michael discourse.

“You're not staying?” Another angel invited.

“No, I have other matters to attend to, don't worry I’ll visit now and then, maybe send a postcard,” Michael spoke sarcastically, before signalling Castiel to proceed, leaving the other three angels disconcerted and apprehensive.

“Castiel? You’re too early.” Jack stated hugging the Seraph.

“Lucifer’s son... Jack right?” Michael introduced somewhat fascinated.

“Yes I am Jack, but I chose Castiel as my dad. Who are you?” Jack informed him.

“Michael, his oldest brother, your Uncle, oh and more- I don't care. We have someplace to be.” Michael stated.

“Hang on, I just need to check something." Cass said leaving the two outside the door walking off to another corridor. 

He opened the door, knocking before he looked up. 

"Castiel? What are you doing here?" Eileen asked. 

"I just came to check on you for Sam, see how things are going with you and the-" he said gesturing to her stomach. 

"Yeah, I'm good. I mean I'm in heaven, I'm pregnant which is weird. Angels check on me every few days and give me a funny look. Um, how did Sam take the news?" Eileen asked.

"He was shocked, but he is more than happy to raise his child when you have to give it up," Cas said.

"What do you mean give it up?" Eileen freaked out. 

"Surely you know you can't raise a living being, regardless of whether its half-ghost or not. It can't be raised in a place meant for the dead. When we say give it up we mean Sam will raise it and it will be allowed to visit you on occasion." Cas spoke. 

"Like co-parenting?" Eileen asked. 

"Somewhat, yeah. I have to go, but look after yourself." Cass replied. 

"Hey, it's not like I can die." Eileen joked as Castiel walked off.


	34. Demons I get, humans they’re just crazy.

"So you're my oldest uncle?" Jack asked Michael enthusiastically.

"Yeah." Michael replied flatly. 

"Well, you seem very powerful. Where have you been?" Jack asked. 

"You ask too many questions kid, and if you must know, in the Cage. The pit built especially for your father." Michael spoke, slightly amused by the boy's curiosity. 

"What was he like, I've heard bad things," Jack spoke. 

"I mean he is the Devil. But before his fall, he was a good brother, a great son and a brilliant soldier. But then he defied our father and became the so corrupted that I had to cast him out. To put a long story short." Michael informed Jack. 

"Wait so I call Castiel, Cas does that mean I get to call you... mike?" Jack asked the archangel. 

"No, don't even think about calling me that. Try it again I'll end you." Michael threatened half-heartedly. 

"You can't, Dean already claimed it, though I think he likes me now so maybe you can ask him," Jack told Michael. 

"You're quite something, not like Lucifer at all," Michael stated, intrigued. 

"Yeah, I'm not evil." Jack said, reminding Michael of a child. 

"Maybe he's not so bad after all," Michael whispered so only Adam could hear, preparing to leave as Castiel reapproached.

"Jack!" Sam said a look of relief in his eyes. 

"Hey, Sam," Jack said, moving to hug him but pulling away in disgust. 

"You stink of like, rotten eggs and sweat." Jack said. 

"Yeah, I've not showered in a few days." he lied.

"Oh, good job with the trials Sam." 

"Thanks, Jack, um actually I need a huge favour."

"It’s Ok I'll do it," Michael said, leaving towards Rowena’s room

"What's that about?" Jack asked.

"Rowena-"

"What's wrong with Rowena?" Asked Jack, worried- he had grown fond of the witch after having spent so much time with her and Sam before Castiel had returned from the dead.

"She's pregnant with Sam's baby and needs healing." Castiel informed

"Woah, Sam's gonna be a double dad." Jack said, amazed

"Yeah. But its a secret for now, Dean doesn't know- Sam wants to tell him himself." Cas enlightened Jack.

“Is this all this necessary?” the demon challenged, shifting its cuffed hands.

"So how does this work then?" Sam asked

"We just wait I guess." She replied. 

"Are you 100% sure it’s true?"

"Yeah, I mean go check that bin if you don't believe me. All those say it." 

“I'm pregnant Sammy. I'm getting back what I lost because of you"

"You keep saying that, what does it even mean?" He asked. 

"The night I DIED. I was waiting for you to come home because I had news for you."

"Which was?" Sam pushed

"I was pregnant, Sam." She admitted, "I lost my baby, our baby because of you." 

Sam looked away, horrified.  
He’d caused the demise of not only his first love but their unborn child.

“But now, we have another on the way.” Jessica said interrupting his thoughts, eyes flashing black as she placed a hand on her stomach.

“Yeah,” Sam said, apprehensive of what their child would be.

'Make that a triple, Jack' Sam thought, exhaustedly.

“I’m sorry, my ears must be broken because I think I just heard a fool but you’re standing here? Are you telling me you have not one, not two, but three different supernatural beings who are expecting your children?” Cas said, taking in Sam’s latest debacle.

“Look Cas, it’s not like I wasn’t wanting any of this. I found out about Rowena, I was freaking thrilled, I really like her man. But now Eilleen and Jess too. Man, this is a mess. But I have to stick through it.” 

“But how did Jess? Sam, I thought she ran off.” 

“I lied, Cas, she's downstairs in an empty room, don't worry, she’s secure. I can't risk letting her go, that child makes her dangerous.”

“Yes, probably because that child is an Anti-Christ,” Cas spoke, exasperated.

“Look I’m sorry Cas I know you hate lying and keeping things from Dean, I don't exactly like it either, but I just need some time to figure out how best to tell him all this so he doesn't flip out.” Sam started,

“These past few months have been difficult for him and i don't wanna ruin how well he’s doing but not relaying this properly to him. Mean having you back, having mom and dad back and a solid hunting team with his friends, he’s the happiest I’ve seen him in a while.” Sam explained.

“I understand, but please, don't leave it too long. I’d rather it came from you than by you being found out, Dean would be furious.” Cas emphasised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated :)


	35. I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks.

  
"Sorry boys, we have some training to do," Billie said before zapping herself and Jack someplace, leaving the men unsettled. 

"Where'd she take him?" Dean asked. 

"I can't sense them." Cas spoke. 

"Nor can I, meaning there's only one place they can be." Michael stated, looking up at Castiel. 

"The empty." Cas uttered. 

"But Why there?" Sam questioned. 

"That must be some training." Crowley quipped. 

"Okay, this has got to be really bad." Dean clarified. 

"Where are we?" Jack questioned, looking around at the void. 

"The empty." Death clarified, "Now, its time I taught you a few things." Billie added. 

"Why are we here, couldn't you just teach me at home?" Jack asked. 

"No, this way, no one can sense you, at all." Billie said. "Its vital no one knows how strong you are, the second they find out, you're in danger." Billie spoke. 

Adam sat in his room looking at Michael who was sitting in the chair opposite his bed.  
“Why would I do that?”

“I mean after our conversation the other day I thought-” 

“Well, you thought wrong. I'm not just going to throw you away like that, you mean too much to me.” Adam professed.

Dean and Cas peered at each other as they snooped outside the door, having been on their way to the library but gotten intrigued by Adam seemingly talking to no one, they were both stunned by the revelation.

“I’m just saying it would be a lot easier. You’re with your family, I can just go back to heaven.”

“No, I want you to stay, at least this way I won’t lose you, even if it means we miss out on certain things,” Adam spoke. “You don't understand Michael, yes they are my family, I care for them, me and Dean are doing okay, my parents just invited me to dinner and I still get angry when I see Sam sometimes, but you, you’ve gotten me through this, you’re the silent voice of comfort I hear when the chaos get too much.” Adam conceded- Dean looked up at Castiel, resonating with Adam’s words in regards to his own angel.

“Ultimately I will do whatever you think is best, I could leave, but unless you eject me, I promise I won’t.” 

“Thank you, I like that but I want you to be happy too, it can't all just be about me.” Adam said.

“I know, I appreciate it, Adam.” 

“I love you, Michael, you don't need to thank me.” Dean’s eyes were blown wide at the words.

“I know, I do too.” Michael replied, causing Cas to contemplate everything he’d ever known about his brother.

“What, you love yourself?” Adam quipped.

“Shut up, you know what I meant.” Michael vocalised, a smirk on his face.

  
Dean and Cas stared at each other astonished by what they’d just discovered, feeling a slight awkwardness when they looked too profoundly into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“I think it’s about time we talked Cas,” Dean spoke regarding what had happened in Dodge.

"Maybe let's wait until after your dinner?" Cas stalled, he was still feeling guilty about lying to him about Sam. 

"Wait are you not coming?" Dean asked, confused. 

"Well, of course I'm not. It's a family dinner. I thought I'd just go and sit with Crowley and Rowena maybe brainstorm on why death took Jack and why we keep getting warnings about something coming." Cas told Dean.

"Cas. You're an idiot. Family dinner means family. And if You're not family then no one is." Dean affirmed, "You're coming. I mean if Crowley's invited then like hell are you staying behind. Plus my whole family is going to be there for the first time, like, ever, I need you with me on this," Dean discoursed sincerely, knowing that the Angel's mere presence could calm his nerves. 

"Ok Dean, wait Crowley’s going?" Cas questioned, still confused about how he'd changed so quickly.

"Yeah, I guess he's family now, after all he's done over the past months-" Dean recalled how Crowley had reassured him several times when he was struggling with Cas' death, "-he's changed, shockingly. Then there's also the fact that Rowena is pregnant with Sam's child, Crowley's her son so I guess he's almost got a direct link to us now. Man, I still can't believe I'm gonna be an uncle." Dean gushed.

"You're sure your parents won't mind? Wait, do we need to dress up? It’s the first time meeting them properly, well, at least your father. I don't want to make a bad impression, they're your parents." Cas slightly alarmed.

"Cas, chill out. It's just dinner. I told your dad to shut up and he's the literal light. Don't sweat it, come as you are I'm sure they'll love you, maybe eat a little just so it’s not awkward though or at least have a drink." Dean advised, patting the Angel on the shoulder, secretly endeared about Cas caring of his parents' approval. 

"Dean? Adam? Sam?" John said walking into the kitchen where the brothers were sorting the food. 

"Dad." Dean said stepping forward. 

"I-I'm so sorry Dean. I'm so sorry." John cried on Dean's shoulder, Dean hugged the man in an attempt to comfort him, the last time he'd heard something resembling an apology from his father was moments before he had died.

Michael hadn't just given him memories of his own past, he'd given John memories of all the major events regarding the Winchester brothers ever since.  
It was slightly confusing as this wasn't the dad any of them had remembered, he was a whole decade younger than Sam and Adam who were currently 35, this was the man he was before Mary had died, it made it difficult to hold a grudge against him. 

"Adam. Sam. All three of you. I'm just. I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to explain. What I did to you boys. How I treated you. How I raised you after your mother died. It was wrong. I should never have put any of that on you guys. It was unfair, cutting and unacceptable. If it wasn't for me you could have been normal, had a good life. I-"

"Dad. It’s okay. You don't have to do this right now. We get it." Dean reassured. 

"You always knew what to say, to make it all ok. Not that you should’ve had to." John smiled. 

“Really dad, it’s okay, now let’s go eat.” Dean dismissed, not wanting to dredge up the past before dinner.

“No it's not, but, you're right, we can talk about it another time,” John replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)
> 
> let me know your thoughts in the comments!


	36. When in doubt, eat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winchester family dinner.

"I'll tell you what, it’s weird how you guys are technically younger than us," Dean spoke taking a seat. 

"Yeah what is with that?" Sam asked Rowena, settling in opposite her. 

"Well forgive me but that was all I had the energy for- Considering." Rowena sassed. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like-"

"Och Sam. Chill out."

"So you're Sam's girlfriend?" Mary asked Rowena, eyeing the witch carefully. 

"Uh mo-" Sam started. 

"Aye, yes I am. It's lovely to meet you both. I've heard good things" Rowena said, smiling at Sam's parents.  
Her answer shocked both Dean and Sam equally. 

Mary smiled back at her, "It's lovely to finally meet you too, you’re Crowley’s mom, right? How did you guys meet?"

"Uh PIZZA anyone?" Sam interrupted handing the box to Mary not wanting to explain how they had once wanted to kill one another.

"So you're Castiel, Dean's guardian angel or his lover, Mary was confused about the details..." John asked, causing Dean to choke on his beer. 

"I guess you could call me his guardian angel in a way, we do share a profound bond." Castiel replied, not minding John's comment as Dean gathered himself, grimacing at Crowley who was giggling on the other end of the table. 

"It's nice to meet you John, and it’s lovely to see you again Mary." Castiel greeted, Mary smiled in response. 

"Thank you for looking out for my boys Castiel," John expressed, Cas nodded curtly in response. 

"So you actually came good Crowley?" Mary summoned. 

"I guess so Mother Winchester. A pleasure to make your acquaintance Father Winchester, I'm Crowley, King of Hell." He greeted.  
John nodded in response, unsure what to make of the Demon from the memories he’d been given. 

"Adam, what about Michael?" Mary asked. 

"I'm still here. Don't worry." Michael replied as Adam's eyes flashed blue.

"Wonderful," John spoke sarcastically. 

"Is there an issue?" Michael challenged.

"Not unless Adam has one. But I guess thanks for taking care of him. And for helping us with Anna. But uh can he come back now?" John replied.

"Dad please be nice to him." Adam pleaded. 

"I don't have a problem, it's just… new." John said.  
This was truthfully a lot for John to take in. He'd spent his whole adult life hunting these things but now. They were his new family, it would take a while to truly sink in. 

"Congratulations by the way Rowena," Mary spoke referencing her pregnancy, Rowena smiled in response.  
"Just back from the dead and about to be grandparents. It’s amazing, Weird. But amazing." Mary spoke as John nodded in approval.  
"He beat ya to it, hey Dean" everyone other than Castiel laughed. 

"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom," Cas said, leaving the room. 

"Angel's pee? That's new." Mary stated

"They don't. I'll be back in a sec guys, carry on." Dean said, worried as he took off after Cas. 

"So they're exactly where I left them huh? Still pining." Mary said regarding Cas and Dean. 

"Oh, you have no idea..." Crowley started as John, Mary and Adam listened carefully. 

“Cas, it’s me, buddy, I'm coming in,” Dean spoke before walking into Cas' room. 

“Dude, what's wrong?” Dean asked Cas. 

“Nothing, I just needed a minute Dean.” He lied, truthfully he was feeling the strain of Sam’s secrets and then their were his own feelings concerning the older Hunter.

“I know you well enough to know you’re lying Cas. Talk to me.” He said forcing the Angel’s eyes up by boring his own eyes into the Cas’. 

“Its nothing Dean, I just wish Jack was here. I'm worried.” 

“I know Cas. I'm worried too. But sometimes it’s nice to have a little good in the bad. Trust me I would know. You have a family that loves you Cas, that includes me. You don't have to feel alone, you can always tell me anything.” He spoke candidly, making Cas feel worse about the lies. 

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas spoke. 

“You don't need to thank me Cas," Dean said, pulling the angel into a tight embrace. "We'll talk about it properly later ok?” Dean suggested, “Now c'mon. There's pizza and beer calling us.”

“I don't hear them, Dean.” the angel looked at the hunter confused,

“Just, c'mon man.” Dean spoke rolling his eyes but feeling endeared by the Angel’s cluelessness. 

Jack spoke to the people in the church. 

"Join me, Come into heaven. Prepare to become angels." Jack said as he transferred them from the church to heaven. He lined them all up and touched each one on the temple turning them from humans to angels. 

"It's working," Jack told Billie telepathically. 

"Good, that should do heaven good for now." Billie affirmed. 

After a fulfilling dinner and quality family time, everyone headed to their respective rooms. 

Sam decided to pay Rowena a visit.  
"Rowena. Can we talk." 

"Aye Samuel. Come in, sit."

"Thanks." He sat opposite her on the bed, "What you said at dinner to mom. Did you mean it?"

"Sam, you know by now. I don't say things I don't mean."

"So you really want me to be your boyfriend?" Sam reviewed. 

“Yes, dummy.“ Rowena confirmed.

“What about the stuff with Eileen and Jess. You don't hate me?”

“Eileen, I'm putting it down to the influence of the trials and as for that Jessica, I know you loved her once, but what she did to you is unforgivable and I want you to know you can talk to me about it, I don't want you doing the typical Winchester thing and holding it all inside, it's not healthy. It would be wrong of me to blame you for that.” 

“That and I know you care for me, you care for our baby, so how could I hate you? You proved how much you care when I almost died. I could hear you, and my, the things I heard.” She teased. 

Sam looked at the grin on her face and his heart thudded with Joy, this is what he wanted.  
“I love you, Rowena.” He blurted out.

though Rowena was taken aback by the confession she didn't hesitate in countering,  
“I love you too you big dumb giant.” 

WIth the biggest grin he'd worn in years, he pulled her in kissing her passionately and spent the entire night caressing her whilst cradling the forming swell on her stomach. 

"Okay. No excuses now. We need to talk. About everything. What happened in dodge, what's been up with you lately, how you're doing, your powers. All of it. I worry about you man." Dean explained, gesturing for Cas to take up his usual seat at the side of his bed. 

"Okay, Dean." Cas said, giving in as he took his seat in the familiar chair.

"Its been a while since we did this huh? I don't really know where to start man. I mean, that kiss-" Dean started. 

“Was, uh, something…” Cas spoke, feeling, something in his stomach, that he didn't know how to feel about.

“Yeah, it was- uh was it a good something or bad?” Dean questioned, his heart was in his throat as his nerves kicked in.

“Oh, uh definitely g-” Castiel was interrupted by Jack flying into the room.

"Hi, Dean! Castiel! I couldn't find you in your room so I figured you’d be here" Jack greeted eagerly. 

"Jack!" Cas rose out of his seat, walking towards the boy.

"Jack, you're okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah- but Cas we need to go to heaven. Sorry, Dean." Jack said, taking Cas and zapping out. 

"Dammit. Every time." Dean cursed, throwing his empty beer bottle at the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you're enjoying it so far!


	37. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah Dean. Don't we all?

"Jack, what's going on?" Cas asked. 

"I'm restoring heaven. Look I made new angels." Jack boasted

"What? How?" Cas was confused

"Billie taught me in the empty." he told his surrogate father, "I figured though that we could use another archangel," he added

"But they're things of primordial creation. They're absolute. I mean you've met Michael. He's heaven's most terrifying weapon. You can really create that?" Cas pondered.

"You're the key Castiel."

"What?" The Seraph asked, doubtful, the last time he'd heard those words were from Metatron and it hadn't ended well. But he trusted Jack.

"You're going to be an amazing archangel."

"What?"

Before Cas could hear an answer he was hit with the most horrendous pain.

"Ah what the hell?" Dean exclaimed, getting up to look at the burning sensation on his arms. 

Cas' handprint was back, it was scalding.   
Dean was concerned. 

"Dean where is Castiel?" Michael asked, rushing in, "What the hell are those?" He added looking at Dean’s arms

"These are the prints he left on me when he pulled me out of hell like over a decade ago. Jack came and took him to heaven. You need to take me to him.” Dean demanded. 

"No Dean." Michael flashed out, leaving an unnerved Dean behind.

"Jack what are you doing to him" The original Archangel questioned.

"Don't worry it’s all gonna be fine, Uncle Michael."

"Jack, you are killing him." Michael stated, agitated.

"It’s going to be fine. Just wait."

Michael watched. Feeling slight worry. He'd grown to like Castiel. He was one of his only brothers left who was old enough to have been there through everything other than the ordeal with the darkness. He was the only one other than Adam who understood Michael and over the past few weeks, they'd formed a slight bond. 

"Jack. Don't make me hurt you." Michael threatened, not actually wanting to hurt him.

"There's no need it's almost done"

"What is Jack?" 

"Wait and see. Billie taught me how to do it. I can only do it once so I chose Castiel."

“What?" Michael thought, though relieved the kid couldn't do this again. 

Castiel pain was so tremendous he swore he could feel it himself. 

"You know if Dean was here right now he'd murder you on site. Though I imagine he's too busy in excruciating pain."

"What do you mean?" Jack questioned, troubled.

"Whatever you're doing to Castiel, it’s so immense Dean can feel it too. In his soul."

"What? How?"

"When Cas raised Dean he left a Mark on his soul, it doesn't happen often. In fact, it’s extremely rare. But in any case, Dean has a figurative part of Castiel in his soul and he's feeling a fraction of the pain because it’s so intense."

"That's why he was so hurt when Cas died then?" Jack pondered

"What? I don't know, but look, how much longer is this going to take Jack?" Michael asked

"It's almost done."

Soon enough it ended and Jack returned Castiel to Dean. 

"What the hell did you do to him, Jack?" Dean asked as he followed curiously. 

"He's better than ever." The Nephilim smiled

"But he's a -How is that possible?" Michael asked, perplexed.

"Billie taught me. But I'm tired so I'm gonna sleep. We can talk in the morning." Jack flew out.

Forthwith, Cas woke up on Dean's bed. 

"Are you okay Cas?"

"Dean? I'm fine. I feel a little foggy but I'm ok."

"Wait, Dean, what happened to your arms?"

"You don't remember these bad boys?" Dean joked, tapping his arm and regretting it instants later. 

"From when I pulled you from hell?" Cas said, "I thought those faded." He added.

"I did too but they made a guest appearance after you left. It’s like I could feel this horrible pain…"

"Yeah, it might have been from me."

"What? How?"

"When I raised you from hell all those years ago, I accidentally marked you with part of my grace, my soul from the strength it took."

"So we're... connected?" Dean queried

"Yeah, you could say that." Cas rejoined

"I guess we really do share a profound bond then hey." he joked, "Well I've always wanted tattoos on my arm but I didn't think I could commit to it forever. But hey these are pretty cool." Dean looked at his shoulder. 

"I can heal that if you want." 

"Nah, I like it." Dean preferred the link to the angel on his arms.

Jack opened the door to Dean’s room. 

"Don't even think about taking him to heaven again Jack. Anything you do to him you do in front of me." Dean threatened. 

"Wait, why are you awake. You need to rest." Jack said, ignoring Dean’s empty threat, "Oh yeah I forgot," Jack said placing his hand on Cas' shoulder.

All of a sudden Cas' eyes radiated and Dean's arms blazed.

"Jack what are you doing?" Dean gritted his teeth through the pain. 

"I just made an archangel. But I’m tired again so I'm gonna sleep." Jack said, proudly walking out to sleep and replenish his used grace.

"What?"


	38. A cruel, cruel, capricious God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANYONE ELSE SCREAMING AT THE NEW J2M AND JENMISH CONTENT WE JUST GOT???!!!!! :o

Dean sat worried at Cas' side.  
"Shouldn't he be awake by now?" he fretted.

"It’s not every day a Seraph becomes an archangel, Dean." Michael stated.

"I know but he's just."

"Dean, it’s okay. He'll be fine." Adam assured his older brother. 

"Sometimes the flow of you and Michael throws me, man. You guys are so in sync."

"I guess it helps when he's practically the companion of my whole being. Almost like you two, but he's inside of me. But then I assume you guys have probably been inside each other too." Adam quipped. 

"Sorry uh, what? What uh no that um...That sounds dirty haha." Dean tried to joke off.  
What had Adam meant by that, was he onto him?

Adam smirked at him knowingly as Dean tried to cover up his frustration.  
"You guys are real close huh? Adam prodded. 

"Yeah, he's the best friend I've ever had. He's family. He's been there for me for a long time, he's everything- uh like uh you and Sammy y' know." Dean attempted to play it off, but he wasn't able to fool his brother, "I can't imagine my life without him in it." He appended, sincerely. 

"Have you ever told him that?" Adam urged. 

"I try to but life seems to get in the way.” Dean repined, thinking about his countless interrupted attempts of talking to Cas in the last few weeks.

"Well, when you love someone you should tell them. It’s crucial, you never know when you could lose someone. I presume you'd appreciate that. Whether it’s platonic or carnal, they should know.” Adam said

"Yeah, I never got to say the things I wanted to say to Cas before he died a few months back. I still haven't. But I'll try.” Dean pledged, studying his Angel.

"You should Dean. Like Michael is my angel. According to your soul, Cas is yours. Make sure he knows it." Adam spoke, gesticulating to Dean’s arms. 

Dean nodded, embarrassed by his own overshare. "Its good to be able to talk to you like this. You were always great at this stuff.” Dean stated.

"Yeah, you never were. You'd only ever open up if I got you to. I surmise you've spent years holding things in?" Adam imagined accurately.

"Yeah, you could say that but Sam and Cas, they always listened. Uh, you got any clue when he'll wake up?" Dean asked, shifting the subject. 

"Whenever his body is done adjusting, Michael told me," Adam addressed before leaving. 

"Super." Dean said sitting down in Cas' seat at the foot of his own bed. 

Dean was woken up by a bright light. 

"Ah what the hell?" Dean said, wincing at the light. 

He looked up surrounded by a blazing blue light "Cas?" He whispered looking at the Angel's wings, mesmerized. 

They weren't the velvety black he'd perceived them as when he was a Knight of Hell.  
They were black but had a delicate amethyst radiance to them, it was beautiful. 

Wait. He could see Cas' wings? He'd only ever seen them as a demon. Never as himself before.  
Without thinking, still hypnotised by the sight, he reached out to tenderly stroke the wings he seldom got to see. 

Cas hummed at the touch and snapped back to reality, hiding his wings.  
"Sorry Dean, being an Archangel is new, so is having my wings back."

"Its ok- Wait, that means?" Dean realised.

"Yeah." Cas grinned graciously, flitting in and out of the room, "I can fly again."

"So wait you’re telling us that you not only gave Cas his wings back, but you turned him into an Archangel too?" Sam spoke, amazed.  
"I thought that was nearly impossible? I mean Chuck said it was impossible to fix Michael, obviously, he lied about that but he said making new Archangels was time-consuming as well." He added

"So he deceived you then? That's nothing new for him." Crowley quipped. 

"Shut up, Demon." Michael spoke. 

"Oh, actually thanks for reminding me Uncle Michael, Crowley, a present for being so nice to me.” Jack said, pressing two fingers to Crowley's head.

“Ouch!” Crowley exclaimed rubbing his forehead 

“What was that? Rowena asked.

"You're now the highest rank of demon there is." He smiled.  
Crowley's eyes turned silvery, instead of their usual red. 

"Should we be concerned?" Dean asked. 

"I thought only Lucifer created high-rank demons," Sam said. 

"He is his son," Mary said. 

"Is this concerning?" Dean questioned, looking at everyone confused. 

"No, I only did it because he's a good demon. Plus he's the king of hell. He needs an edge." Jack stated. 

"So no concern. Uh yeah ok." Dean said unsure. 

"Did Chuck give you his job?" Sam asked. 

"Chuck?" Jack asked

"Your grandad, the creator of everything?" Crowley cleared up. 

"I think he might have." John added, agitating Michael.

"Yeah." Dean conceded, concerned. 

"I don't know about that but now that everything is good for you guys, I want to help more people, make the world a better place." Jack said. 

"So clear up Chuck's mess? I'm down for that." Dean spoke. 

"What a shame, I disagree," Chuck pronounced as he snapped his fingers letting out a blazing light from Jack, obliterating him in front of his family's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, we knew it was going too well...


	39. I will not be joining you ever, except at your death scene, where I will burst into song.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was being impatient again.

"Jack!" Cas sounded, watching the light leave his body.   
They all watched as his eyes scorched out, peering up at Chuck in horror.

"This looks cosy!" Chuck spoke to the dumbfounded individuals standing before him.

"Chuck?" Sam distrusted, not accepting he would have done that. 

"WHAT THE HELL?" Dean yelled at Chuck, full of ferocity. 

“No.” Cas softly murmured examining Jack for a sign of life.

"Father?" Michael directed, taking a step towards Chuck. Shocked, finally witnessing his father for the first time in centenaries. 

Dean turned to check on Cas, knowing that would've been even more awful for the Angel than it was for him. His heart broke at the sight of the devastation written all over his angels face, Dean wished he could take his pain away. But right now they needed answers and Dean was going to make sure he got them.

"Sorry children, he had to go. He was ruining my creative flow. Writer's block can be a bitch, particularly when you have that one character-" Chuck began.

"First. We're not YOUR children, my parents are there. Second, unless you're about to explain why the hell you did that, shut the fuck up, Chuck." Dean boomed, irritating Chuck.

"Be quiet Dean," Michael spoke up before Chuck could rage at Dean. "Father, where have you been? When did you come back?" He questioned.  
Sure, Michael was somewhat dismayed by Jack's passing but he had a million questions to ask, years of abandonment and confusion to get answers for. 

"So Michael you made it back? How… lovely. Yeah, also about your parents being back, I don't remember writing that. I could always-" Chuck said raising his fingers leaving the boys feeling uneasy before Michael interrupted. 

"You seem, displeased?" Michael said, hurt.

"I mean you guys have been messing with my plans. You think I'm gonna be happy about that?" Chuck spoke “Not to mention the unwarranted upgrades, Castiel, an Archangel? I’d reverse it but, you’re such a sad excuse for an Archangel, I’ll leave you be- that and you’re all WInchesters, it’ll end in disaster because that is how I planned it. Didn’t you wonder why everything has been going so well?”

"We’re just trying to clean up your mess. He was your grandson!" Dean spoke

"You think that means something?"

"Of course it doesn't." Dean mumbled defiantly.

"You know for a measly human you really don't know how to shut your mouth.” Chuck said to Dean. 

“Yeah well, this ‘measly’ human always has to clean up your screw-ups so sue me if I don't wanna keep quiet, don't think we can't figure this out either.” Dean sniped.

“Jack was getting in my way. Michael, son, I'm disappointed. You know the rules regarding Nephilim. Why didn't you exercise the usual practice?”

“Do not call me that.” He spat. “I am not your son. You did this! You abandoned me, Gabriel, Raphael! You killed my nephew! You left me to pick up the pieces! You wanted me to kill Lucifer or Lucifer to kill me! All for what?! Your story?!”

“Speaking of Lucifer, thank you for trapping my most precious son in that awful world!” Chuck said sarcastically, clicking his fingers causing everyone to look around to see who his next victim was until they looked next to Chuck in horror. 

“Dad? Michael? What the- is that my- did you all do this?" Lucifer spat at the Winchester's.

"Your most precious-?" Michael spoke, outraged. 

“Hate to break it to ya. Well actually I don't but. Yeah. You Michael, in fact, all of you, were all just a part of MY story. You were my favourite characters to play with, but this whole insubordination business, you guys getting good things, I’m growing weary of it so, now I believe its time for this story to end." Chuck said looking around at the Winchesters and their allies. 

"What is going on?" Lucifer spat. 

"We're going to be a family again Lucifer. You always did love me the most, it’s only fair I gave you that same love back in return. After all. You were always my favourite, its time for me to show you that. Come let's go. Oh and boys. Have fun while you still can." Chuck threatened.

“You better kill us now.” Dean said.

“Excuse me?” Chuck said, intrigued.

“I said, you better kill us now.” Dean affirmed, Sam looked at him uneasy.

“What can a pathetic sap like yourself possibly do to me? I’m sure there's more chance you hate yourself more than you hate me. What can any of you do to me?” Chuck asked, arrogantly.

“You don't want to test us, you know you won't win.”

“I'm going to enjoy watching you suffer, tearing everything from under you, making you watch helplessly as everything is destroyed until I destroy you completely, in every, possible, way.” Chuck threatened, leaving behind a shocked assemblage. 

Michael was left disillusioned by his father's betrayal. For the first time since his father had left or ever, as even that hadn’t hit him quite as hard as this, Michael felt genuine, raw anguish. 

"What you think just because you want to be a family again I'm just gonna hold your hand and do whatever you say- I’m not Michael. You BETRAYED me. YOU apologised and then left for years to go play happy families with your sister WHO TRIED TO KILL ME. OH, AND YOU JUST KILLED MY SON! How do I even know if I can trust you?" Lucifer raged at Chuck as they arrived at Chuck’s private bar. 

"Look Lucifer I did you wrong. I acknowledge that. And I apologize for that. I realise that I treated you unjustly. You truly were the best of my sons. I mean even though Michael listened to me blindly like an idiot. His loyalty was rigid whereas yours. It was pure and came from true love. I didn't appreciate it. But I do now. I want you to be at my side as I destroy this universe."

"What, like all of it? Even the Winchesters?" Lucifer summoned, piqued by his father's revelation. 

"Especially the Winchesters." Chuck uttered, a sinister expression on his face.


	40. I don't understand your definition of good news.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> man E.W killed me

“Crowley, call Billie.” Dean demanded, attempting to comfort a distraught Cas by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“What do you think? I have Death on speed dial? She’s a very busy and important being,” he started, realising now was the time for empathy, not wisecracks, he pulled out his phone dialling a number.

“Billie, darling, do me a favour and come to the bunker will you love?” Crowley spoke into the phone, earning him an odd look from practically everyone.

“This better be an emergency. I told you I'm busy until later, make it quick or call back later.” Billie scolded Crowley and then looked around at the disconcerted faces and then to where Cas was hunched.

“Oh my...Chuck? Well, that's- inconvenient.” Bille presumed precisely.

“You knew about this?” Sam asked.

“I'm Death, of course, I knew, and with what happened the other day…”

“What happened the other day?” Mary asked

“So he brought you guys back huh?” She said.

“No, actually that was Fergus and I”  
Billie and Crowley exchanged looks, her seemingly unimpressed, whilst Crowley looked more on the sheepish side.  
“I have a meeting with the empty, we can talk later.”

“Billie can you?” Referring to bringing Jack back to life

“I can't Dean, not right now.”

“Then when? When, Chuck ends everything?”

“Oh is that his new ploy now? Thanks for the heads up.”

“We thought you’d know,” Sam said confused.

“He’s been toying with a few for the past month, he was so ambivalent I tuned out.” Billie informed, “Now I have somewhere to be.”

“Also, I was wondering before you go, is there any chance you can ward us against Chuck? Like the warding that kept Amara out of the bunker and unable to find us, surely there's something similar to that for Chuck?”

“Sure.” All eight of the group concurrently winced in pain. “See ya later.” Billie remarked, giving Crowley a knowing look.

Cas went and sat next to Michael. 

"Are you alright brother?" Cas asked. 

"I don't suspect you are either, you practically lost your child." 

“Billie didn't rule out the possibility of bringing him back, she just said not now, and it won’t help him if I sit here wallowing.” Cas stated, "Dean always says it helps to talk about it."

"So does Adam."

"Does he talk about his distress?"

"If it was up to him, he wouldn't, He’d drown it in Pizza and cake. But sharing this vessel, he has no choice."

"So like Dean, except he prefers, 'bullets, burgers and booze', but I don't have the advantage of finding out his feelings through having shared his vessel, so the only time he'll share is when he finally explodes about what is wrong after it’s built up for an unhealthy amount of time." 

"Must be a family thing." Michael supposed.

"Well, you know the Winchesters. Always ready to fight, never to talk. You should just consider yourself one at this point. You are riding around in one." Cas quipped. 

"I am Michael, the firstborn and strongest Archangel, are you really trying to compare me to a Winchester? Just because you were weak and gave in it doesn't mean I should or I will do the same." Michael huffed. 

"Michael. I understand you're strong, but being a Winchester. It's so much more than you think. But most importantly. Being a Winchester means that family is everything. I know with Adam's situation you haven't had the best perspective of that. But with all they went through up here, I would say Adam was better off in the cage. Even though they're just humans, they do so much better than any sanctimonious celestial being ever has."  
Michael sat pondering regarding what Castiel had said, nodding as he acknowledged some of the Winchesters accomplishments. 

"What's it like Castiel? Going from a conventional angel to a feeble human and then becoming an Archangel?" Michael asked. 

"It's odd. When I was an angel, I was rigid, with no sentiments. No sense of anything other than my mission and doing what I was told."

"Then you met Dean and that went away pretty soon."

"Yeah. Being human was awful. But beautiful at the same time. They're so simple, yet so complex. The way everything tasted, smelled… felt. Every sensation was unique. Some were unpleasant like hunger or urination for example. But others like an accomplishment or eating a PB&J were extraordinary."

"Adam likes those. But when I tried one all I could taste were molecules."

"Yeah, I miss PB&J- but being an Archangel. I'm still finding my bearings and I have much to digest. But the pure energy, the raw power it’s so infinite."

"Who better to learn from than the original Archangel."

"Of course. I'd like that." Cas said, "but Michael, are you ok?"

"I'm fine Castiel, everything I've ever known just got blown to pieces, my whole sense of self, my aeons of memories. All of them are just. Destroyed. Everything I've ever believed was a falsification. I was just a pawn to a being I dedicated my whole life to." Michael explained. "Adam keeps telling me with the way I'm dealing with this I might as well be a Winchester."

"You'd be better off. You may have to fight hard to get things done. But when you win, which they always do bar some losses, the feeling is indefinable." 

Sam was sitting alone with his thoughts. He'd just been to check on Jess and that had all but worsened his mood.  
He needed a moment before he went to Rowena, still reeling from the events of the last few weeks.  
He was in pieces after Jack's passing, he had gotten along considerably with the Nephilim, having understood him and cared for him.

Cas and Adam walked out of the kitchen and headed towards him. 

"You alright Sam?" Cas asked. 

"Yeah I’m okay, how are you holding up?" asked Sam

"Yeah, I'm dealing with it," Cas spoke solemnly

"You spend so much time with Dean you even sound like him." Sam teased in fruitful a bid to make the new Archangel smile. 

"Well if you need to talk Sam-"

"Yeah, thanks Cas." 

"Uh same here, if you need to, I'm here," Adam suggested hesitantly. He figured with everything that he had just witnessed, maybe he should give Sam some hope for their relationship to be fixed.  
Sam peered up at him a small hint of a smile on his distressed features. 

"Thank you, Adam. That means a lot. T-the same goes for you too." Sam spoke.  
Adam nodded before walking off. 

“So turns out Chump or Chuck whatever you wanna call him got himself into a spot of bother with the empty.” Crowley discourse. 

“The empty? What happened?” Cas questioned, knowing first hand how detrimental the Shadow could be. 

“To put a long story short, he was eavesdropping on a conference between Billie and the Shadow.- the Shadow, ruler of the empty for those of you that are unaware, was not entertained and punched Chuck down to earth meaning-"

"He's not at full strength. That's why he didn't end Michael or Cas,” Sam spoke 

“That's why he has Lucifer. After Michael he's the strongest, the only reason he has him and not Michael is because he actually cares about Lucifer.” Crowley added.

“Sorry, Michael.” Sam apologized, upon noticing the moderately agitated look on the face of the Archangel. 

"Wait how do you know this Crowley?" Dean spoke. 

"Billie and I enjoy a little pillow talk from time to time." Crowley smirked. 

"Gross, dude." Sam spoke, looking at the King in abhorrence.


	41. I don't care, that I don't care.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are all good!

Cas was struggling, he didn't want to talk to anyone or see the pity on their faces- he knew he wasn't the only one hurting, but Jack was truly like his son, it was awful.

The Archangel sat alone in his room, distraught for the first time since he thought he had lost Dean forever to the government when they had captured the brothers roughly a year back.  
He just wanted Jack to be okay, he wanted him to be alive.  
They hadn't burned Jacks body, in the hopes that Billie's earlier comment meant she would bring him back somehow. Instead, they kept him in a tomb Crowley had brought into one of the spare rooms in the bunker.  
He had known Chuck was self-indulgent and just appalling, but today his father had established himself to be much more deleterious.  
He had no idea how he would explain to Kelly, or if he even wanted to.  
He couldn't just sit here wallowing, he was not going to allow himself to prove Chuck's statement about him right.  
Speaking to Michael earlier had helped make things a little easier, it helped him refocus his purpose a little, helped him to remember things he had almost forgotten in his grief.  
He may not have gotten it right as an Angel or a Seraph- but he would do his damndest to make sure he didn't fail as an Archangel.

Dean observed Cas through the gap in his door.  
It killed him to see his Angel like that, he didn't know whether to go in or leave him, so instead, he stood there watching the grief on the angels face.  
He wanted to go in and comfort him, hold him, tell him everything would be okay, because that's what friends should do, right?

Jack was like a son to Dean, despite what had happened when Dean had lost Cas, their relationship had flourished since then, they would eat, laugh and even drink together- if he felt this awful, then how much worse did Cas, the one who wholeheartedly, no judgements, before he was even born took him on, feel?  
The thought broke Dean's heart, he didn't like to see the angel upset, he was his best friend, he wanted to make it all go away for him, but he knew better than anyone what Cas really needed right now, was time to think, to process, because he had not only lost his surrogate son but his father, who he had scoured the earth for, had betrayed him horribly.

Dean was so lost in his anguish and thought he almost hadn't felt the hand on his shoulder,  
"Dean, he's hurting, just give him some space. He'll talk to you when he's ready I'm sure." Michael assured the hunter, before proceeding down to Adam's room.

“Michael, please talk to me.”

“Adam, I said what I had to say to Castiel, I know you heard it so let’s just leave it at that.”

“Michael, stop with this bullshit man. You do realise I can physically feel that you are hurting,”

“What does it matter? ‘Talking it out’ won’t fix it, just leave it will you?”

“You know I won’t, because I know you’re going to let this eat away at you for an unhealthy amount of time and then-” 

“Can you eject me already, please? I'm done with this conversation.”

“Michael, just talk to me.”

“What? What do you want me to tell you? That my I loved my father and he destroyed me completely? That I feel like everything I have ever done has been some sort of falsification, some fantasy for HIS story, a story that I, as his firstborn son couldn’t even be a main feature in. He left me to rot, he wanted Lucifer, the devil out, but he never wanted me out, he never wanted me at all, I was there only for the purpose of his plot.” Adam felt the pain resonating in Michael’s words and it shattered him that he couldn’t do anything to fix it.

“I'm sorry, Michael, I didn't realise...” 

“Not your fault, I'm sorry for taking it out on you.”  
Michael felt the ghost of a hand on his cheek, he looked up to see a vision of Adam looking at him tenderly.

“See, being in a separate vessel would make moments like this so much more meaningful,” Michael stated.

Adam smiled and rolled his eyes at the Archangel currently occupying him.  
“You can always talk to me Michael, just because we’re out of the cage now, it doesn't mean that's changed.”

“Thank you, Adam, I appreciate it, and I appreciate your genuineness towards me.” Michael said, a soft smile on his face as he looked at the man who he was possessing.

“Excuse me?”

“There’s two of us, it’ll be fine,”

“Ahahaha, I think the hell not.” 

“Dean we’ve been hunting since before you guys were born, well I have, and he was an amazing hunter from what I was shown.” Mary added.

“Yes, one of the best ever actually. But still, it’s not happening.”

“You do realise we are your parents, not the other way around.” John pointed out.

“Yeah but Rowena brought you back from the DEAD, I intend to honour her hard work by keeping you two alive, thank you!”

“Thank you, Dean.” Rowena spoke

Dean nodded and half smiled in response, his face turning serious once again as he turned back to his parents.

“Let’s have a family hunt?” Crowley suggested.

Everyone turned around giving him a funny look.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Let’s take the whole entourage, have a bit of fun? We’ve not had quality bonding time in a while. I think we could all do with some quality family time, considering...” Crowley remarked sincerely, though smirking.

“That's not a bad idea actually, but this hunt is a little small for all of us to be going.” Sam reasoned

“Yeah so we will go get it sorted and you can all join us on the next one?” Mary suggested.

“I think not, Crowley will handle this,” Dean said, looking at the king of hell expectantly

“Bloody hell. Make one good suggestion and they’ll take advantage.” Crowley quipped, flitting out.

“What was all that about?” Sam asked Dean.

“What do you think, Stanford?” Dean replied.

“I lost Jack too you know, so did Cas, and hell all of us!” Sam said, walking off, he didn't have the capacity for an argument right now.

“He’s bitchier than usual right?” Dean asked

“Look who's talking,” Adam said

“What? I didn't do anything.” Dean spoke

“You were a little harsh on, well, everyone. Is this just about Jack?” 

“Yeah,” Dean replied, not wanting to talk about it.

“You’re doing that thing Michael does.”

“What?” Dean asked, confused

“Suppressing your thoughts and feelings Dean,”

“Adam, please, if i want to talk about it, I will. But I’m fine, okay? Thank you.” Dean said, walking back to his room.

“Dean, buddy.” John called before Dean could step into his room.

“Dad, you okay?” Dean asked, turning to talk to the man.

“Are you? It’s 1 pm…” John gestured towards the 6 pack in Dean’s hand.

“Yeah uh, just, stocking up for later.” Dean lied.

“I know you're lying, you still make the same expression you used to make when you were younger,” John reminisced.

“Can we talk?” John asked.

“Sure.” Dean spoke, uneasy about the conversation they were going to have as they walked to the study room.


	42. I killed Death. I'm pretty much open for anything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winchester family talk [OG]
> 
> Should I upload another chapter today? Or can I be patient?

“You okay dad?” Dean asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable.  
He hadn’t had a proper one on one conversation with his father since before he had died.

“Yeah, I just thought it’s about time we continued the conversation from before dinner the other night.”

Dean felt his nerves kick in, he didn't know how to react to the man anymore, he was so different from the father Dean remembered.  
“Dad, I already said it’s fine, okay. We don't-”

“Dean we do need to talk about it, I know I'm not the same man anymore but that does not excuse what I did, how awful I was.”  
John didn’t know how to face up to what he had done, to him it almost felt like a bad dream, but it was all too real, especially to his sons.

“Dad, really it’s okay, I get it, I read your journal, I mean hell, you gave your life for mine, you went to hell for me, so I could live. If anything I let you down.”

“No, Dean, you never let me down, I’m the one who let you down.”

“Dad-”

“Dean, just please, here me out.” John pleaded an expression of guilt and regret plastered on his face.

“Fine- but at least share a beer with me,” Dean said, pulling out two beers, handing one to his younger father.

"I don't even know where to start Dean. I guess I should start off by apologising. For what an awful father I was. Somewhere along the line, the lines between protecting you as a father and as a hunter they got blurred. I raised you into this life, I took you away from being a normal child, from having a loving happy stable home to dragging you down this miserable dark path and I cannot apologize enough for that." 

"Dad it’s fine really. I made my peace with the fact this is my life a long time ago. And hey I get to help people, saved the world a few times and I wouldn't have the family I have right now if it wasn't for this life. So as bleak as it gets sometimes, it’s not all bad." 

"But it still doesn't excuse what I did."

"Yeah but like you said. You've changed, you've apologised, you want to do better. That's what counts. I mean hey, if I can forgive the King of hell for how wrong he did me you think I'm gonna hold a grudge against my own father? Like yeah at the time you were awful, I was a kid who was forced to grow up too quickly. It was always about keeping Sammy safe, never about me. Then there was Adam, who i didn't even know existed until I followed you when I was 13 and then you made me hide that from Sammy too. It was all a lot of pressure, I won’t sugar coat it and say i didn't hate you at times for not thinking about me, but still, I’ve had time to work through it."

"I know you probably feel like I never prioritized you. Like Adam and especially Sam came first. But I promise you. I love you all the same. It’s just my focus was blurred after what happened with your mother, and then Adam- I couldn’t see past my obsession for revenge and you paid the price. And I know that does not excuse anything but what I really want is a second chance, Dean. If you want that, but i won’t push." John pleaded. 

"Dad, of course. I spent so much time hating myself for losing you. I don't wanna do that again. And hey Chuck’s pissed and could probably end us all tomorrow if he wanted so that's fine by me. It'll take time. But I think we can do this." Dean reasoned as Sam walked in. 

"You seem like you're being more reasonable now," Sam stated, aiming his comment at Dean. 

"Yeah," Dean replied, not wanting to apologise due to his stubbornness, this was usually the way Dean functioned when he was hurting, so Sam let it go.

"Everything ok, Dad?" Sam asked 

"Yeah, actually you should probably sit too, I owe you an apology too," John said handing Sam a beer. 

"Why, what for?" Sam asked,

"Well I was saying to Dean I raised you into this life but y'all deserved better than me as a father. And also for telling Dean to put a bullet in you if you went Darkside. I should've had more faith in you and I shouldn't have put that burden on you, Dean."

"Dad its Okay, I get why you said it. And you know you did the best you could in a difficult situation. So don't worry about it. I'm actually content with my life. I have a family, a home and everything I could need." Sam spoke, Dean nodding in agreement.

"Well, this is cosy. Hope I’m not intruding," Adam said at the doorway.

"Of course not Son, come sit you should be here too," John spoke, gesturing for him to sit.

"But we already had this conversation dad," Adam spoke.  
He and John had spoken about this the day before after John had thanked Michael for restoring his memory and helping his family.

"I know but. I have a lot to make up for." 

"A lot of people do," Adam said, side-eyeing Sam, "but we'll get through it. I understand why you felt you had to keep me a secret. You thought it was best and you were protecting me. I get it. I mean I was on a ventilator until I was like 13 so it makes sense. I wouldn't have really remembered them much anyway. I think we just need to work on getting past it and building a new life together." He stated sitting down.   
Adam was starting to warm up to his family again, he still felt some bitterness towards Sam, but he tried not to dwell on it much.

"Exactly what I was saying" Dean discoursed, handing Adam a brew. 

"I never thought I'd see the day, all my boys together in one room," Mary spoke, tears in her eyes.

"Come here baby," John said to Mary, placing her in his lap, holding her with a tight embrace.   
It made the boys happy to see their parents together, and so happy, it was all they had ever wanted, to be a proper family.

"I am sorry boys, and I'm so proud of you all. Proud of the amazing men you turned out to be." John spoke.

“I’m sorry too boys, who I was last time I was here, that wasn’t what you guys deserved.” Mary said, recalling how she had been so distant from them.

“Its okay mom, we’re just happy to have you guys back.” Dean spoke, genuinely.

Dean hated cheesy crap, but he felt so lucky to even be enduring this cheesy crap, he couldn't help but go along with it. Everything was great, now all that was left was finally being able to talk to Cas alone, but before that, he deemed getting back Jack would be more significant at the moment so that Cas could be happy too, his happiness was important to Dean too, perhaps even more important than his own.

"Here’s to a new start," Mary said, raising a toast as she grabbed a beer.


	43. Guess i've been... Winchestered.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have like 2 days until my essay deadline and 2 weeks until my main project deadline and what am I sat here writing? this.
> 
> [FYI-things get a little steamy- You can skip the chapter if you dont want to read, a brief description will be given in the next chapter summary.]

"Hey Cas, are you doing okay?" Dean asked when Cas popped up in his room that night.  
Dean felt nervous, there was a heavy heat in the air that was suffocating, he swallowed it down, focusing on the Angel.  
He knew Cas was crushed by Jack's death and truthfully, so was he. Dean had planned to teach Jack to drive the Impala next week, he knew it would have made Cas happy, but now that plan was in tatters. 

Cas wasn't wearing his usual attire.  
His trench coat was nowhere to be seen, his tie was missing too.  
Instead of shoes, he wore black sliders. He had his regular trousers and shirt on with the first 2 buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up.  
It was unusual. It made him feel...nervous? He couldn't help his need to swallow thickly at the sight. 

"I'm fine Dean, how are you?" Cas replied, snapping Dean out of his thoughts as he met the Angel’s eyes.

"I'm worried about you."  
He didn't like the way Cas was[n’t] handling it. He didn't want the angel doing anything reckless. He may have kept it to himself, but Dean cared for the Angel in ways that scared him, that he never even thought possible.

"Why, I’m fine?"

"Because unfortunately you learned your coping mechanisms from me and you don't drink or shoot things. So I'm worried."

"And What if I acquired my coping mechanisms from you? I am fine, Dean. I wish everyone would stop asking me that." Cas replied obviously frustrated. 

"Cas your life was just flipped upside down. Your dad was awful to you, you just got turned into an archangel by your adopted son who is now dead because your dad killed him. And you're trying to tell me you're okay? I'm not buying it, man." Dean stressed. 

Dean read Cas too well, but Cas didn’t need that right now. He just needed it all to be okay. He couldn't think about himself and his desire for the hunter right now, saying instead;  
"Your dad was awful to you too if I recall properly."

"Yeah but we're working on it. Chuck doesn't seem like a working on it kinda guy."

Cas looked at the man exasperated, sometimes Dean really did know him too well for his own good.  
"Do you want your nightly drink?” Cas asked in a bid to change the subject.

Dean sighed loudly, his worry for the Angel coming out as frustration.  
"Dammit, Cas! Screw the drink. Talk to me.” Dean raised his voice, agitated.

“Dean I’m fine will y-”

“Cas.” Dean stopped the angel, “I just, I want-”

Dean knew what he wanted, it was clear to him now, but was this really the right moment for it?

"What do you want Dean?!” Cas yelled, defeated, he really did not want to talk about anything.

"You." Dean spoke, his desire for the angel abruptly taking over.

There would never be a right moment, so he decided to make one.

Before Cas had a chance to react to the confession, and before Dean had thought through what he was doing, Dean had Cas rammed up against the wall, an arm against his chest as he charged Cas' lips fervently.  
Now, this was heaven.

Dean drew back from the kiss for a moment, still retaining his arm on Castiel’s chest in a hunt for a reaction from the angel.  
His hair was a mess, his lips were rosy and swollen from the advance and his eyes dilated.  
Dean relished the sight, he’d never seen the angel look so, sinful?  
"Cas. I'm sorry I-" Dean mumbled as his senses started to return

"Dean, would you shut up already?" Cas replied, closing the gap between them.  
Cas needed this, he wanted this, he’d wanted it for a long time, he just hadn't wanted to risk their bond or friendship like that. But if Dean was the one initiating it, it was okay, right? Either way it had got him to stop asking questions.  
Dean smirked into the kiss. This is what he had been craving for the longest time. His body had been crying, screaming out for Cas but he'd ignored it. Pushed it down. Could he really let this happen, what if he ruined it and the person he cared for the most ended up hating him?

Dean momentarily stopped, looking the angel dead in the eyes, "Cas are you sure you-"

"I might smite myself if you don't shut up and fuck me already." Cas interrupted.  
Dean was taken aback, but he heeded the Angel's request. He’d never heard Castiel use such language before, but it turned him on.  
Thinking it through was no longer plausible.

He stared into Cas’ eyes, something about them just sucked him in, it caused emotions he’d never felt before to flare up fiercely within him.  
Cas’ every expression felt like it tugged at another string in his heart. Every time he saw him, it punched the mute button on his thoughts, any words to say flew from his mind and he could only watch Cas, rapt and speechless.

‘Fuck.’ Was all he thought, he was screwed and he knew it.  
The emotions he’d kept at bay for so long were raging at his chest.  
The Angel had gotten to him in a way that no one else had managed and he didn’t know how to deal with that.  
Cas crashed his lips against Dean’s, having not appreciated the loss of contact.  
Cas could feel things, things he hadn’t felt since he was human, perhaps even more so than when he was human, it scared him. But for the most part, it aroused him.

‘Fuck it ‘ Dean thought, intensifying the kiss and simultaneously ripping off Cas’ shirt, causing him to giggle in excitement, leaving him exposed.  
Dean had to take a step back, almost gawking at Cas’s body, he had never seen Cas so naked before. Somehow the slight of Cas's dark nipples and caved belly button sent shock waves through Dean's body. Damn. He never knew Cas had such a nice body under all those clothes. It made him want to see the rest…

Dean reached down to take hold of Cas's belt. His rough hands fumbled with the buckle as he felt his own lungs beginning to strain from anticipation. He wanted to know what Cas was packing. He wanted to see Cas's perfect bubble-like ass, without the layers covering it. While he tugged at the buckle, the man looked up to see Cas's intense blue stare.  
His nostrils flared slightly taking in the slightly sweet scent that was coming off Cas as he ate the angel up with his eyes. His hair was sticking up in all directions, his lips were glistening and his eyes glowed cerulean with desire, Dean bit his lip in response- he was so turned on right now.

“Well that's not fair,” Cas said about going for Dean's Jeans.  
Cas made work of getting Dean’s t-shirt and pants off, almost being hit by his impressively long, thick endowment.  
Cas marvelled at it and resumed to stroke Dean's cock with both hands, slowly. His finger started rubbing the tip, earning a loud groan. Cas’ hands slowly picked up speed and roughness, which increased Dean's euphoria tenfold. He stopped for a single second, looking at the sweaty muscled man in front of him. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, he just recalled what the pizza man had liked.  
The Angel didn't take his time. He shoved Dean's cock into his mouth, pumping it with his other hand at the same time. Dean's legs spread as his back arched and he moaned in pleasure.  
He tried his hardest to keep the sounds to the minimal, but it felt so fucking good- this was Cas, he couldn’t quite believe it. His hand held onto Cas' raven locks, trying to push his head further down.  
Cas' other hand started caressing Dean's balls as he picked up speed with his mouth. The hunter curled his toes, panting and moaning Cas' name over and over. Cas was about to take all of his length in his mouth, but Dean had other ideas, he was so close and he didn't want it to end so soon, so he lifted Cas up, as though he were a toy, not a celestial being, and threw him on the bed, a dark lust evident in his eyes as he crawled on top of him. Dean towered over the Archangel, kissing down Cas’ jaw, all the way down his neck, whilst pulling at his length gently. 

“I was enjoying that,” Cas told him, feigning irritation.

“I was too, but it’s only fair you get the same treatment, don't you?” He challenged before kissing Cas gently.  
Soon enough the kiss turned rough and ardent as Dean couldn’t hold himself back from the sweet scent that was radiating from him. He went lower, trailing kisses along Cas’ neck whilst stroking his length, causing him to let out the most obscene moans, making him harder if that was possible at this point. He moved slowly onto the Angel’s pecs, letting go of his length to fondle them. Cas’ face was a sight, he moaned loudly as Dean flicked his tongue across his peaks.  
Cas returned the pleasure as he grabbed hold of Dean’s girth, stroking it at a quick pace, Dean had never felt more alive than he did now, it was almost as though it was sending electricity up his cock, but not in a bad way. He felt so fucking good, he continued trailing down to Cas’ cock, kissing his legs tenderly, mesmerised as he saw the look on the Angel’s lustful face, what was Cas doing to him?  
Dean turned his focus to Cas’ ass, he slowly worked into it, teasing the clenched hole that fluttered each time his spit-covered finger glided past. As soon as his lips hit entered the ring of muscles the grip on Dean’s cock tightened causing Dean to let out an embarrassingly loud groan. Cas replaced his hand with his mouth on the hunter’s cock, making Dean groan deeply in response.  
He continued, this time going faster led on by Cas’ sweet taste, beginning to tease him with his fingers. Cas felt amazing as the burn of Dean’s thick fingers penetrated him, letting out a loud moan.  
He was honestly surprised that no one had heard them at this point.  
Pushing all other thoughts aside he inserted another one of his big fingers into Cas, he could feel him convulse around his fingers, between that, his scent, his moans his cock was about ready to explode.  
Dean withdrew his fingers, causing Cas to let out a moan of disapproval, his fingers were wet, not from his own spit, but from Cas’ own fluid. Dean looked at the Angel confused yet so mesmerised; this must’ve been causing the heavenly scent. 

“Perks of being an Angel, now Dean please” Was all Cas managed to get out before Dean interrupted him.  
Cas had never felt such carnal desire in all his aeons of life. What had Dean Winchester done to him?  
Before he had a chance to demur further Dean pulled him closer, crashing his lips against Cas’ whilst fondling his nipples, his hand still wouldn't let up on his cock, so Dean pinched Cas’ nipple causing him to moan loudly into their kiss.  
With Cas’ grip off him, he wrapped Cas’ cock firmly in his hand, as though it was a leash to control him by. Kissing the Angel’s neck roughly as his free hand made its way up to his nipples. Dean took this opportunity to dip his fingers back into his tight ass, occasionally licking his fingers taking in the Angel’s taste and then kissing him so Cas could taste himself.  
He was driving Dean insane, Dean had wanted Cas for the longest time, he just hadn’t truly given it much light until recently, pushing it down, burying it along with his heart.  
Cas had a modicum of prior experience, and not with a man- Dean had trifled with the idea once or twice as a teen, but never actually experienced anything with a man, indeed until he’d met Cas he’d not truly considered it as an option- but now they were here like this, it was almost like a hunger inside of him, like a thirst desperate to be quenched. Either way, he loved it, he wanted to drown in it, in Cas.  
He moved back in position with Cas’ ass, the Angel licked his lips in anticipation. Part of him was curious, never really having done this before, other than with the reaper April he had no sexual experience, but that was a different thing entirely, with Dean it was different, not because he was a man but because he was Dean Winchester. Dean was only a man, a hunter but from the moment he had witnessed him in hell he knew he was exceptional, Cas knew it. Something about him had stirred sentiments in the Angel that he’d never even known existed, the fact he was even feeling anything at all as an Angel at all was the biggest tell for him.  
Dean snapped Cas out of his thoughts, thrusting into him roughly.  
He panted as Dean bottomed out. Dean blanketed Cas's body, his hands resting on either side of his head as he pumped into him, one of them grasping his length, his malachite eyes locked with his cerulean ones the entire time.  
He was more turned on than he could ever remember being. Dean pushed himself up, sitting back on his heels and pulling Cas's thighs up with him, slamming into him as the Angel gasped repeatedly. He brought his hand down to stroke Cas’ cock, his focus still entirely on his moans.  
Cas was a moaning mess as Dean relentlessly pounded into him. Dean had never felt such ecstasy, Cas was deliciously tight.  
He connected their lips only intensifying the feeling causing him to groan into Cas’ mouth.  
Cas could feel Dean inside him, all of him; every move he made, as he slid in and out of him. He loved it, the feeling, he felt complete, - he loved everything about it, but more so everything about Dean.  
Dean grabbed Cas’s hips and hitched him upwards ploughing straight into his sweet spot. Cas arched his back, holding onto the marks on Dean’s shoulders and screamed out as waves of pleasure coursed through his body causing his wings to flare out.  
Dean was entranced by both the electricity sent through by Cas’ grasp on Dean's arms and the sight as he thrust into him harder and faster- before long his legs began shaking as he started to come. He was apparently a screamer, something Dean was grateful for as he felt his balls tighten, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stay quiet for much longer. He muffled Cas’ scream by planting a kiss on his mouth.  
Dean didn't let up as Cas came, his fingers still working their magic as he pumped into him the other hand on stroking his spent cock. The slick he’d released whilst doing so drove him into even more of a frenzy.

“F-fuck Cas! You feel so damn good.” He said.  
His legs were spread enough that Cas could see every inch of Dean, so hard and so wet as he pulled almost all the way out only to slam back into the Angel, again and again. As soon as he'd ridden out his high Dean leaned forward once again, covering Cas's body with his own, kissing the new archangel deeply.  
Dean's thrusts became erratic as he looked Cas up and down, loving the way his hole clenched as his hips moved faster. His hips stilled as he released his load into Cas, his lips formed Cas's name as he moaned flustered.

He loved the feeling Cass gave him. ‘Shit,’ He thought as he let himself come undone.  
It was so fucking good, he had a taste of his angel, he wanted more.  
He saw a flicker of something different in the angel's eyes as they gleamed from his climax, it was captivating.

“I missed you, Cas,” Dean spoke sincerely, not being able to tell him everything in fear of rejection, not wanting to push his luck.  
Cas pulled him in for a soft kiss, pushing him down on the bed. Laying on top of him wrapping his invisible wings around the hunter whilst he played with his hair as Dean kissed his head, wrapping his arms around Cas as Dean fell into slumber.  
“I did too, Dean.”

Cas had spent the night entranced with Dean, he couldn't truly grasp that any of that had just happened, the hunter made him feel things as intensely as he had when he was human, perhaps even more so and he couldn't say he minded.  
He felt full, complete.

It wasn't until he rolled off Dean that he sensed it.  
It was strange, not bad, but unmatched.  
He didn’t recognise the sensation, so he decided to focus in on it.  
As soon as he realised what it was he freaked out completely.

This was not happening.  
How was this even possible?

His panic was only worsened when angel radio abruptly turned on, going off like an alarm in his head.

Dean was not going to be happy about this, he would hate Castiel and regret their actions.  
As though the hunter could feel the Angel’s fear he woke up, at first smiling, which faded when he saw the panicked expression on his best friend's face.

Did Cas regret what happened last night? Had Dean taken it too far?  
“Uh, Cas are you alright?” Dean inquired, worried.

“I have to go, Dean,” Cas replied, getting up off Dean’s bed.

“Wait, why?” Dean implored, confused as the angel gathered his clothes.

“Dean, something happened, I-I can't tell you. You’d be disgusted.” Cas spoke, flashing new clothes on himself.

“Cas please, tell me what it is?” Dean pleaded

“No Dean, I need to go.” Cas spoke, looking disordered.

“Cas!” Dean called out as the angel flew away leaving Dean confused and hurt.

Why was it every time something went remotely well for Dean it all went down the sewer?

‘I need a drink.’ he thought, wanting to block out the series of panicked thoughts overcrowding his mind.


	44. But love, love is weakness, and I’ll never be weak again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who skipped the last Chapter, Dean and Cas finally gave in to each other, then Cas freaked out and left so now Dean's worried/confused.

Michael sat outside the bunker. Something was amiss in heaven, he could feel the panic from down here, but part of him didn't really care. It wasn't his responsibility anymore, it hadn’t been for a long time, and now especially after what his father had done, he had no desire to look after anything that was once important to him.

Michael, for the first time since before Lucifer was cast out felt, happy, he felt free. There was no burden left for him to carry, he was no longer a son who had to carry out his father’s every last instruction. He was simply Michael, the Archangel.  
“You know what Adam, feel free to call me Mike,” He spoke, he was no longer Michael, [son] of the ruler, he was just Michael, who is akin to the ruler.

“Finally renouncing your shitty father huh?” Adam questioned, “Wait does this mean I can't call you Michael anymore? Because the name really has grown on me if I’m honest.” he added.

Michael chuckled, “You can call me whatever you like Adam, after all, you are all I have now, but I can count Castiel too now, I guess.” he surmised.

“And my brothers, my parents and Crowley, Rowena, Jack”

“I suppose so, but Jack is dead- but then, when has death ever stopped a Winchester-” he reckoned.

“Too right.” Adam sassed.

“Hello Adam, how are you?” Castiel said, approaching him on the bench outside the bunker.

“I'm good Cas, are you alright? You look like hammered crap.”

“Thanks for the information, I’m fine. How’s Michael doing?”

“I'm good,” He said, eyes flashing azure, “There's something different about you, I can't quite tell what.” Michael eyed Cas sceptically.

“I did recently become an Archangel, that's probably it.”

“Hm… did you hear all the ruckus upstairs?” Michael asked. 

“Yeah, I’m not going there though, I have no reason to,” Cas stated, slight panic flaring up within him. 

“That makes two of us,” Micahel figured

“Why not three?” Lucifer spoke, grinning at the pair.

“Lucifer!” Cas spoke bitterly, perching in a more guarded position. 

“What do you want here, serpent?” Michael expressed spitefully

Lucifer was genuinely stung by his most beloved brothers words, “Brother, it pains me to hear you of all people say that,”

“Yeah, I’m sure it does,” Michael uttered sneeringly.

“What do you want lucifer?” Cas demanded

“Castiel, I enjoyed our time together and then killing you and as much as I’d like to do that again, right now I need to talk to my brother.” 

“He too, is your brother, younger perhaps, but still your kinsman nonetheless.” Michael defended Castiel. 

“So you’ll back Dean’s precious Seraphim but you won’t defend me? Your own little brother, an Archangel just like you?” Lucifer spat. 

“I defend those worthy of being defended and he is more worthy of being called my brother”

“And I’m an Archangel too now, thanks to your- well, my son.” Cas said scathingly. 

“You lie, my son wouldn’t do that.” Lucifer said, outraged

“He was more our son than he ever was your’s Lucifer, now, back off.” Dean spoke approaching the three Archangels, “Did chuck send you here to finish his dirty work?” 

“No, I came of my own accord to speak to my eldest brother,” Lucifer spoke.

“Why do you need to speak to Michael?” Cas asked

“I don't need to answer to the likes of you Castiel!” 

“Don't speak to him like that, explain why you're here or piss off.” Dean sneered

“You pathetic ape!” Lucifer lunged for Dean 

“Leave him alone!” Michael boomed

Cas flew off, not having the headspace for the tension. 

“Well done, asshole!” Dean yelled in Lucifer’s face. 

“Dean please just go inside. I can handle him.” Michael delivered.

Dean huffed but didn't argue, more concerned about where Castiel had flown off to than Lucifer’s play.

“Have you seen Cas?” Dean directed, walking into the library where Crowley was sat.

“No, I’ve not seen feathers today. Trouble in paradise?”

“You know, sometimes, I forget you’re a demon and then you open your mouth.” Dean snapped. 

“C’mon, talk to uncle Crowley.”  
Crowley knew when Dean was not handling things. After the time they'd spent together over the years he had learnt the tells of Deans behaviour. 

“Yeah, I’m not calling you that,” Dean said, shaking his head as he grabbed a drink, sitting opposite the demon, sliding him a glass.

“What's happened then?” Crowley questioned, “spare me the utter bollocks of you saying ‘nothing is wrong’, let us not forget our summer of love, we’re besties don't forget.” the King added.

Dean rolled his eyes at the Demon’s comment, “I’m worried about him man, especially after what happened with Jack and then last night-”

“What happened last night?” Crowley insinuated, raising his brow. 

“We were uh talking, and then he just looked horrified and flew off,” Dean told half the truth, worried that he'd said too much. 

“That's odd, even for feathers, I know there's a kerfuffle in heaven, but he doesn't go there so that can't be it,” Crowley noted- Dean was definitely hiding something. 

“Wait, what kerfuffle?”

“I don't really know, but I went to hell yesterday and apparently angel radio was going haywire, didn't care enough to check it out.”

“I don't know what to do man,” Dean spoke, worried.

“I think maybe you both just need to be honest with each other,” Crowley stated.


	45. That's okay. I mean, hey, I barely respect you now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Might do another double upload tonight.

I’m sorry what? I thought she got away?”  
Rowena felt nauseated, and she was sure that the morning sickness wasn't the cause of it.

“I, uh may have twisted the truth a little on that, I didn't want Dean finding out, he still doesn't know what happened.” Sam said, nervously.

“So this must be my latest replacement? Never would’ve thought you were into redheads Sammy.” Jess spoke eyeing Rowena, “Wait is that Crowley's mom? You really have settled for less.”

“Shut up Jessica.”  
Sam didn't like the way she spoke about Rowena, he may have had feelings for her once, but now, seeing what she had turned into, they were long dead.

“Ouch using my full name- wait she's pregnant too? Aw, look at us bumping along together.” the Demon spoke, a hand on her own forming bump.

“You're sick, bitch,” Rowena yelled, slapping the demon across the face, restraining herself from hexing her for Sam’s sake.

“Hey, that's rude, i can't even hit you back with these, but believe me, I’d make it hurt.”

“This is so different from the person you told me she was.” Rowena whispered to Sam, genuinely shocked.

“Don't I know it.” Sam uttered, exasperated.

“You don't have a spell to speed this up, do ya bewitched?” Jess asked Rowena.

“No, but I do have several that can kill the likes of you.” Rowena scathed

“Shut it,” Sam directed at Jess, pulling Rowena aside.

“Do you have anything that could speed it up? I don't really want to have to keep her around here longer than necessary.” Sam urged

“That kind of spell would be in the book of the damned, I don't think we should be using that for this, I'm sorry Sam but the cost is always too much trouble. I’ll check the Grimoire anyhow.” Rowena spoke feeling bad about not being able to help, she kissed him on the cheek before leaving.

Dean was still sulking around slightly, feeling grouchy about the way his night with Cas had ended.

What had happened that made things go from near to perfect, to Cas leaving him?  
Maybe they both just got too caught up in the moment? In all the grief and the mixed emotions.  
Dean knew he was kidding himself, this had been so much more for Dean, but he was too afraid to admit it, even to himself, because that made Cas’ rejection all the more painful. Because ultimately, to Dean, that's what it had been, a rejection.  
Maybe he really just wasn't lovable.  
Dean was sure of it; Cas regretted what had happened between them and now he could hardly even look at him.  
Crowley was right about needing to speak the truth, but Dean assumed it would lead himself to more heartache, he’d gone through so many years ignoring his feelings, what was a few more, or even the rest of his life.

He’d had a night with him, a kiss with him, he’d laid with him. Hopefully, that would be enough to get him by, as long as he got him to stay, even as just a friend. It would be painful, but he could live with it.

“He killed my son! What do you expect?”

“You really expect me to believe that you have any regard for family?” Michael laughed.

“I’m serious, he played us, now it’s our turn to play him.”

“And how do I know this isn't all part of his ploy? That he didn't send you, or that he isn't the one making you say all this? Because up until now, our free will, as Archangels, what there was of it, was all lies, I only started living freely when I had myself warded against that narcissistic sadist.” Michael stated.

“I'm sorry Michael. I know you still love him, still care for him, but I just don't believe him. I mean everything we did outside of the cage until Billie warded us, it was all controlled by Chuck, Lucifer isn't even warded, so there's no guarantee he isn't being controlled by him, he could be using Lucifer to listen to what we’re planning, or cause you harm. I'm not going to force a decision on you, but Michael, I don't trust him.”  
Michael listened to Adam, heeding his words, knowing he had never lied to him, he would never forswear him as his brother and father had.

“You have to believe me, Michael, I will tell you everything he's been planning, he's the one who destroyed our relationship, he killed my son, he destroyed our lives! You think I don't want him to pay for that?”

“I’m sure you do, but ultimately, its always dad’s approval you wanted, not mine, I gave you love, you spat in my face, same as he did so I don't trust you.”

“I still love you too brother. What can I do to make you trust me, Michael?” Lucifer sought.

“Nothing, because Adam doesn't believe you either, and he’s a pretty good judge of character.” Michael notified

“You’re forsaking your own brother for a Winchester?” 

“He’s not just a Winchester, he is a part of me. You relinquished your own family too Lucifer, you’re standing by the side of the biggest forsaker of them all, so don't deplore if i don't want to trust you.” Michael replied, getting up to go back to the bunker, Lucifer following him hopelessly.

“I'm sorry about Lucifer, Cas, he said he wants to double-cross Chuck, but I don't believe him and neither does Adam,” Michael stated

“Well, I guess the choice is obvious if anything the Winchesters are very good judges of characters, most of the time,” Cas spoke

“Castiel,” Lucifer spoke, 

“Lucifer, why are you still here?” The original Archangel questioned, agitated, “I believe I made my position clear.”

"Don't forget what happened to you last time you pissed me off." Lucifer threatened, referencing how he had exploded Castiel for throwing a Molotov at Michael.

"I'd like to see you try," Cas smirked, folding his arms in defiance.

Lucifer mimicked the action which had once obliterated Castiel in the cemetery, confused when it didn't work.  
Cas stood there defiant and still intact. Lucifer was not impressed and instead decided to change tactics.

“Please hear me out, Castiel, tell him!”  
Cas looked at Lucifer in distaste.

“No.” Cas and Michael spoke simultaneously, leaving the room.


	46. So I Invite you to contemplate how insignificant i find you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oops.

Dean strolled into the library almost jumping out of his skin in the process.

“A-amara? What are you doing here?” Dean investigated placing his beer on the table.

“Hello Dean, how are you?” Amara asked, disregarding his question.

“Are you lookin’ for Chuck?” Dean cross-examined in response.

“No, why? Has he been here?” She returned.

“Yeah he friggin was, he killed my… sort of? son.” He responded bitterly.

“Oh, I- uh- you had a child?” Amara quizzed, confused.

“He was Lucifer’s, but Cas, Sam and reluctantly, I took him on,” Dean explained. “So he was your Grand-nephew?”

“Lucifer had a child? And Chuck killed it? I’d say good riddance but for Chuck to want to kill his favourite child’s son…” Amara spoke, a tone of uneasiness in her voice.

“Dean, I won't tell you what he has planned because, despite everything, I cannot betray him like that, but I will tell you that you need to stay ready and be prepared for anything.” Amara notified him.

“What, you knew about this?” Dean asked, frustrated.

Cas and Michael wandered in, shocked at seeing Amara there.

“Dean!” Cas announced, agitated.  
What the hell was she doing here?

“It’s ok Cas, Michael; she’s just here to talk,” Dean reassured.

“Michael, now where have you been? I don't recall seeing you the last time I was here.” She looked mystified.

“Aunty Amara. That's presumably because I was rotting in hell, no thanks to my father, or any of you.” He retorted, stepping aside.

“What is this a family reunion?” Lucifer suggested, walking in not long after Michael. 

“Lucifer!” She rose up, a thunderous cast upon her face.

“Oh. Well, this is awkward. No hard feelings hey? I tried to lock you up, You almost annihilated me, I’d say we’re even.” He jested.  
She snapped her fingers in anger and the blinding light of the morning star was no more.

“Yeah, I’d say we’re even now.” She responded turning back to the three as they looked at her with an aghast expression.

“Is he?” Michael started, having jumbled sentiments about his little brother being killed by his estranged aunt.  
Lucifer was really dead… Despite all he had done and his countless betrayals, something in Michael felt an ounce of pain.

“Dead? Yeah. Trust me he had it coming. He’s working with Chuck, he would’ve deceived you guys and him.” Amara informed.

“What does that mean?” Cas and Michael asked concurrently.

"I was just in the middle of discussing it with Dean." She said in reply.

Michael spoke up declaring "Well, I'd say I have a right to know too."   
Cas grimaced perceiving Michael would not like her answer.

"The only reason I am letting you exist right now, dearest Nephew, is because I can comprehend for some reason you matter to Dean, or perhaps its that vessel? Either way, I recommend you go before I have to test out that hypothesis, ask Castiel, he would know." She said watching him walk away, unable to let go of her grudge against him for locking her away the first time.

"I know you care for this Angel, Castiel, but I want to converse with you in private." Dean looked from Amara to Castiel, he didn't mind Cas being there if anything it was a relief. But right now the information Amara was going to give him could be crucial.

He didn't want the angel to leave again, he needed to ask him what had happened, but he knew he needed to listen to her, so he flashed the Angel a rueful smile, "Cas, could you give us a little while? Maybe check on Michael? He did still care about Lucifer I'm sure." Dean said Cas looked at him, a seemingly inscrutable expression on his face.

Really Cas was a little apprehensive, perhaps even hurt, but he understood the reason was important and left to look for Michael.

“Dean, I’ve been around for a very long time, longer than Chuck, than Death, before all of this, it was just me and the Empty; there was nothingness. Now, I want it to go back to that, but I know it can't because I understand you have to exist, to do the things that you and your friends need to do. Without you and your friends, I’d still be confined in that dreadful place, that's why I will always hold you in regard. But you need to be mindful about Chuck, what you do with him is your business. I am going to do what is most beneficial for me. What I want, in my own way.”  
“I'm only telling you this because I'm leaving. Not just this cosmos, but Chuck too. We’ve been on separate vacations for a while now and I won't lie, I find him insufferable.” She stated.  
Chuck was still the same petulant egotistical little brother who had locked her away all those aeons ago, she had no sympathy for him.

“Wait, what do you mean you’re leaving? Won't the universe collapse? Where are you gonna go?” He asked, confused.

“That's not your concern, and as for the universe, I’m sure it will be fine, what with you and your dream team. You always seem to find a way.” She countered, smiling at him softly.   
She wanted to ask if he had reconsidered to become a part of her, it may have helped change her mind, but the way he had looked at the Angel, Castiel, she knew where his heart lay.

“But you’re the Darkness, you’ve been around forever. You can’t just disappear, not after what you’ve just told me.” Dean said to Amara.

“That's the thing Dean, I won't be just leaving, I’ll be ending, I can't really die, but I want to be away from all this. I wasn't made for it, you won't have much time to deal with my little brother, but it’ll be better this way,” Amara told him.

“But what if we go up against him and lose? Then what? We won't even have your powers for back up.” Dean sought.

“Actually that's not really the case, I have a proposal for you,” Amara said, a smirk on her face as an idea struck.


	47. He who hesitates *snaps fingers* disintegrates.

“So she really was right all along, she truly was misunderstood huh?” Sam spoke.

“At least she did us a favour with Lucifer,” Crowley spoke.  
He was right, Lucifer had been a thorn in their side for far too long. Dean, particularly after what Lucifer had done to his mother and then Cas, he was more than happy to see the end of him.

“Wait so this is Chuck’s sister, the one who brought me back last time?” Mary questioned, her and John were a little confused on all the details, even though they'd been given memories of it, living through it was entirely different.

“Yeah, and apparently, she kind of, on our team, kinda” Dean replied

“Did not see that one coming.” Crowley added.

“Yeah,” Dean said, the only thing on his mind was talking to Cas. He looked around at his families confused faces and left them to process, walking off to find Cas.

“Cas, you alright?” He said as he approached the angel.

“Yes Dean, how was your meeting with Amara?” 

“Interesting, she uh, well apparently she's on our team.” Dean replied.

“But I thought she made up with Chuck?” Cas asked, confused.

“Yeah but apparently, she figured he was a douche and now she's-” 

“So is she going to help us?” the Archangel spoke.

“I don't know.” Dean started, “Cas can we-”

Cas knew all too well what he was going to say next, he couldn't talk about it, he was still wrapping his own head around the idea.  
“I’m going to go and tell Michael.” Cas discoursed, disappearing.

Subsequently, everyone gathered in the library to discuss what Amara had wanted.

“Dude, you smell like a rotting Demon, what is up with that?” Dean questioned Sam, as the younger brother looked at Rowena nervously.  
Dean was no idiot, he knew Sam was keeping something from him, he also knew he would find out eventually because Sam sucked at keeping secrets, and so he let him be.  
“I farted.” Sam disclosed, earning him a funny look from his parents.

“So we have Amara, who is arguably stronger than Chuck, on our side, I think, or at least that's what was loosely implied.” Dean declared.

“Why does she want to help us? I knew her and she was never the helping out type, she was more DESTROY EVERYTHING” Michael spoke, this was not what his aunt did, from the brief time he had known her before she was locked away, he remembered the issues she had caused his father, but then again, maybe his father had just made her out to be worse than she actually was like he had with many things.

“Yeah, well apparently her and Chuck making nice didn't last very long and she finds him ‘insufferable’” Dean informed.  
“So apparently after that stuff with the empty went down, who, a fun fact is apparently buddies with Amara, Chuck went to Amara for help, but she refused on the grounds that he is a douchebag, then he started wallowing in the fact that things were going well for us, got triggered and decided he wanted to ruin our lives again and that's why he killed Jack, but then he realised he should’ve just stolen his powers but it was too late so then he decided to bring Lucifer back and he was going to use the dumb son of a bitch to drain his powers and replenish himself.” Dean explained to the bewildered group.

“So he's basically a sadist, especially when it comes to us,” Sam added.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Did she happen to give any tips on how to stop him?” Crowley directed at Dean

“She said we can discuss it in our next meeting.” Dean said; she had given him some 'tips' but if he told his family what she had insinuated, they would not be amused in the slightest.

“Oh, so she's going to be coming back?” John asked, unsettled.

“Wonderful.” Cas uttered sarcastically, he hated his aunt almost as much as he hated his father, he couldn’t decide whom he disliked more.

“I know its not ideal, but if she can help us get rid of Chuck, I think she may be our best shot because Chuck can't rewrite what she does, he can't control her.” Dean laid out, noticing the distaste in Cas' voice.

“He's right, actually,” Sam spoke

“But what about the balance, surely if you kill Chuck, you’d have to kill Amara,” Rowena spoke

“Unless you lock them both away, using the mark?” Crowley suggested.

“No that mark is too poisonous, I’m not having any of you guys baring it."  
Dean would not let anyone he cared about near that thing.

“Why don't you just get Billie to reap them both?” Michael said.

“She has no obligation to do that for us, plus we know better than to make a deal with death,” Cas spoke, giving Dean a pointed look.

“Look we will find a way okay, maybe when Billie brings Jack back he can help or something, but right now this is the best option we’ve got, so we need to figure out how to work with it.” Dean spoke.  
Cas knew there was something amiss with Dean, he could tell by the look in his eyes, the hunter looked burdened- there was something he wasn't telling them, he wanted to question him on it, but he knew he wouldn’t answer in front of everyone, and if he questioned him privately he’d question him in return and he didn't want that.

“In other news, regarding your idea the other day Crowley, I found us a substantive case for a family hunting trip,” Mary spoke, showing them all an article she’d found on her phone.

“Good to know you're much better with google than you were last time,” Sam smiled at his mother, “I don't think everyone needs to go though, all of us won’t fit in the impala,” Sam gestured towards Rowena, concerned for her and his child’s wellbeing.

“Excuse me, Samuel, what do you take me for? I’m one of the most powerful witches to ever live, you think I can't protect myself or my child from a measly creature?” She said looking at him threateningly. Sam held his hands up in defence, knowing better than to argue.

“I think you’re forgetting, some of us can fly, also there's plenty of cars in the basement,” Adam stated.

“Yes, I saw that 1957 Chrysler Plymouth Fury in the garage, she’s no Impala but she looked gorgeous.” 

“Yeah I’ve been taking care of the cars on days off, so it should be running.” Dean spoke proudly.

“Awesome,” John spoke excitedly.

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning then?” Dean suggested.

“Perfect,” Mary replied.

Dean found Cas in the hallway, “Cas can we talk, please?” the Hunter pleaded, Cas wanted to talk to him, to know what he was hiding, but he knew Dean would question him.   
Luckily they both caught wind of Adams’s voice in the room they were near.

“I know Michael, I’m sorry okay?”

“Why won’t you let me do it then?”

“Because I don't wanna lose you, Michael, you make me complete. Without you, I don't know who I am anymore.” Adam revealed.

“I know Adam, I feel the same, but I’ll never be able to touch you, embrace... kiss you. We can never have a normal relationship regardless of how much we love each other.” Michael addressed, dejected.

“We’ll find a way, I promise, it won’t always be this hard.” Adam submitted.

“I’m sure, anything would be worth the wait for you.” Michael replied softly.

Dean and Cas both stood there upset for the two, Dean wished he could do something to help his younger brother with his predicament, he knew how painful love could be through his experience with Cas, he didn't want Adam to lose his Angel as Dean had lost his own.

‘They are going through something so difficult, but still, they carry on. Maybe I should do the same?’ Cas thought to himself.

“Let’s talk, Dean,” Cas asserted, leading the way to Dean’s room.


	48. The last thing I need is some big, dumb Winchester knocking it all down.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upload 1/2 for tonight

Cas took his usual place on the chair beside Dean’s bed.

“You doing alright Cas?” Dean asked shyly.  
They hadn't spoken properly since that night so they were both understandably nervous.

“Yeah, I’m doing well, how are you, Dean?” Cas the conversation began awkwardly, less like they were friends of over a decade, more as though they were shy highschool crushes.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He lied, he wasn't, he was worried, about Cas hating him, about what Amara had said to him.

“I know you're lying Dean, what really happened with Amara? What did she say that has you so… troubled?” Cas asked, genuinely concerned.

Dean's resolve broke, “I can't lie to you man. Everything I told you guys was true, but she also said that she's leaving, permanently, for the empty." He informed

“What?” Cas asked, shocked and confused.

“Yeah, it's a lot, man. But she hates this place, can't say I blame her really, pretty sure if i didn't have you guys, I’d throw myself to the empty too. But it’s not just that. She also, uh maybe gave me the option to take on her powers."   
Cas knew what the empty was like so he wasn't amused by Dean's comment.

"She Said What? She wants you to have her powers? I- This makes no sense. Like Michael said she's not one to just give up. Why would she? She could destroy Chuck and everything else. Why would she willingly hand over her powers and go to the empty?" Cas questioned perplexed.

"I know man. I was confused, myself. But apparently back when it was just the two of them they got along well because the empty is nothing, and all Amara wants is destruction and nothingness. So they had that in common."

"No wonder you seem more burdened than usual." Car remarked, not entirely sure what to say.   
It wasn't the only burden he was carrying but he didn't want to pressure the already seemingly irate archangel.

"I wanna keep it between us for now though. At least until I decide What to do." Dean said, he didn't want his family to know until he saw it appropriate.

"Of course, Dean." Cas spoke. 

"What about you man, you've been so distant. Especially after. I mean if you didn't like it or you feel like I overstepped that's fine, I just wish you'd tell me what happened. I mean you panicked and left and you've been avoiding me since." Dean inquired.   
He'd been so worried about the Angel, worried that something was wrong with him, or worse, that the Angel was mad at him.

"No dean, you didn't do anything wrong. I actually enjoyed it, probably more than I should have." I just freaked out because angel radio went off and the stuff with Chuck and Jack. It just got to me." He spoke half the truth.   
He didn't need to burden Dean with more news, especially because he wasn't sure about how the hunter would react to it.

"How are you doing with all that by the way?" Dean asked carefully, he wasn't convinced but knew better than to push the Angel. 

"I'm doing better with it now, I mean Billie didn't rule out the possibility of him coming back so I need to hold on to that hope." Dean could tell Cas was holding something back from him but he didn't want to push it. He just wanted to relish the angel’s presence whilst he could. 

"Of course, c' mere, take your coat off," Dean said to the angel who looked at him confused.   
Dean wasn't sure of what he was saying until it came out of his mouth, he wanted to punch himself, but was surprised when Cas complied.  
Cas took off his coat and shoes as Dean gestured for him to join him on the bed.   
Cas was confused but nestled into Dean's strong arms, his back firmly against Dean's chest as the hunter wrapped his arms around the angel, a hand subconsciously being drawn to Cas' abdomen, Cas stiffened at the movement, it was so soothing but at the same time uncomfortable because of what he was hiding from the man. 

Dean could feel Cas questioning the situation.   
"What? Friends can cuddle too. No one’s gonna see us." He reassured both himself and the angel as he drifted to sleep.   
‘Friends, I guess that's all we can ever be at least until you find out about what happened and hate me. I'll take friends over nothing.’ Castiel supposed, nestling into Dean's arms.   
Both of them confused about what was going on between them. 

The next morning everyone met up in the library, sorting their gear for the hunt ahead.   
"Where's Dean?" Sam asked the group, answered by a mass of shrugs until Cas walked in. 

"I just made him his coffee, he's just drinking it and said to pack the cars, he'll meet you guys in the garage in 5," Cas informed, going to get Dean’s bag from his room. 

"You know what, I see what you mean. Y' know, with the whole married couple vibe." John mentioned to the group, chuckling and shaking his head, starting for the garage. 

"Tell me about it." Sam added, following, rolling his eyes at the fact they still hadn't professed their love for one another.

"So then. This case?" Dean asked, walking into the garage, everyone noticed he was more chipper than he had been in the last few days. 

“Yeah, actually Adam was the one who found it, well technically it was Michael or even lucifer- I don't know but basically, Lucifer gave Michael this tip-off about what chuck has planned and he told us about how he’d created this new breed of monster, we don't really know what it does, but they function mostly as people so it can be difficult to detect them.”

“Great so we’re going in blind, that's settling,” Dean spoke sarcastically.

“Well at least one of us should be able to detect the creature, unless Chuck warded its true form against us,” Adam pointed to himself, Cas and Crowley.

“How do we know this isn’t just a distraction from something bigger?” Crowley pointed out.  
They knew Crowley was right, it probably was a distraction from something nasty that Chuck had planned, but these things had wiped out 5 families in one week, they couldn't let it go on.  
They knew they could just send in Michael or Cas and have them sort the problem, but they all figured it would be a good opportunity to gather how they would work together and it was honestly just nice for the three brothers to be able to go on a collective family hunt with their loved ones.

“It probably is, but we can't just leave this group of whatever they are out there to hurt people,” John articulated.

“Dad’s right. We should get moving, so even if this is a hoax, we can get it over with and figure out what he really has planned,” Dean said, throwing his Dad the keys to the 1957 Chrysler Plymouth Fury.

“Sweet.” John spoke excitedly, getting into the Car with Mary, Sam and Rowena leaving Dean, Cas, Crowley and Adam to get into the Impala.

Crowley was right.  
It had turned out to be something of a hoax. 

"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Monsters, I get, but people are just crazy. Freakin' cannibalistic body snatchers."  
Dean vocalised in revulsion, slightly out of breath having been in combat with one, mere seconds before. 

They'd arrived in the small, withdrawn town and gotten to work, Sam and Rowena were on research, John and Mary were questioning families, Michael and Crowley were on security and Dean and Cas were on FBI duty.   
Having an assemblage to do different jobs was much more efficient and made the hunt a lot simpler.   
They had expected some random, fierce unheard of, creature after their talks with the authorities and families, but alternately, they found some old family, consisting of around 11 people who were behind all the killings and missing corpses from graves.

"Rowena!" Dean shouted, pushing the witch out of the way of the man he was currently stabbing, alongside Sam, he had also become protective of the woman since he'd found out she was pregnant. 

"Dean look out!" Cas sounded as one aimed it's gun at Dean, letting off 3 shots each hitting the man on his body before Cas, in his rage, combusted the man responsible, simply burning his eyes cerulean to do so.   
"Dean!" Cas reached for Dean before he slumped back as the rest of the group followed.   
Cas shut his eyes for a moment worried as he concentrated, examining how bad the damage was. 

"Dean, you got shot!" Sam pronounced rushing over 

"Well done captain obvious." Dean sassed

"No, I mean, why aren't you bleeding?" He continued as Dean checked the bullet holes in his shirt, confused. 

"I don't know." Dean and the others all looked around, perplexed.

"I stopped the bullets before they hit you, Jesus." Michael said stepping forward, Adam knew he was lying, but kept quiet, "I think you guys underestimate my power far too much." He said, throwing Castiel a suspicious look. 

"Let's go home." Michael said, slightly taken aback that he now called the bunker home as were the rest of them. 

"We need to clean this all up. If this town wakes up to a massacre they'll be looking for culprits." John spoke looking around at the countless bodies, Sam, agreed nodding his head. 

"Sorted." Crowley spoke, as all the bodies vanished, no one questioned him, thankful it was sorted. 

"What? I thought I'd steal your move, ruffle your feathers a little. No harm in a little banter between friends." Crowley smirked at Michael who muttered, getting into the Impala. 

'I can't believe I can trust this demon king more than my own father. What has my life come to?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	49. Because it's not random, it's not chance. It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly.

"So do we have your permission to start hunting then?” Mary asked.

“I guess, as long as you stick to what you said,” Dean said, unsure.

“Yes Crowley will be notified and anytime we need him we'll call,” John said, rolling his eyes.

“Good.“ Dean asserted.

“Wonderful, quality bonding time with grandma and grandpa,” Crowley pronounced, smirking at his own comment 

“Yeah, that's just- no.” Dean remarked, shaking his head.

"You're awake anyway, what difference does this make?” Billie questioned

“Too. Much. Noise.” The Shadow boomed through gritted teeth.

“Look she'll be here soon. Just wait okay.” 

“I'm only waiting because I want to. Not because I’m listening to the likes of you.”

“Whatever. I'm here on other business. She said turning to the Nephilim.” 

“Jack.” 

“Did Chuck do this?”

“Chuck has no power here. I have a deal going on with him which helps but right now we need to get you back into shape.” Billie said, pointing at the shadow

“Why did he kill me?” Jack questioned

“Same reason he killed any Nephilim. Do you really think he'd let you live if he didn't let a regular Nephilim live? You may be his favourite son's child but with you being more powerful than Lucifer he saw you as a threat.” 

“So he killed me because he's scared of me? But he controls everything. I can't do anything to him.” 

“You can if you try,” Billie informed

“I don't want to kill anyone, I'm not evil like my father. I just want to see Castiel and my family and go to my mother. I don't want these powers. Give them away, I don't care. I'm not hurting anyone because I'm not evil.” Jack convinced himself

“Not even to save your family and the world? Plus if you play this right you won’t need to kill anyone, someone else will handle that. You just need to go back and see what he did. Then you can decide.”

“Right, can you leave now? I'm going to try and nap while I wait.” The shadow vocalised irritated. 

“Trust me, kid. Anything you do to that sanctimonious prick, he'll have it coming.” He spoke to Jack before snapping them back to earth. 

“I’d call you an abomination but you don't care, and I don't either surprisingly,” Michael spoke as he sat down opposite his younger brother. “I’m curious though, who’s is it?”

“Excuse me?” Cas looked at Michael, an expression someplace between disoriented and offended on his face.

“You, you’re carrying a child, but your vessel is a male. How is this conceivable?” Michael urged.

“I don't know what you’re talking about.” Was all Castiel said in rejoinder to his eldest brother.

“You don't need to lie, I have no obligation or desire to tell anyone about the aforementioned. I am merely inquiring.” Michael advanced.

"How did you find out?" Cass murmured, finally giving in. 

"When Dean didn't die yesterday. Your Grace appeared to morph, even shift in colour. I have only ever seen it with Nephilim’s. What I found even more peculiar was the fact that it didn’t burn your usual Azure or a Nephilim’s silver, it was Iris. Also, the way you two look at each other and have done since, well since you first met really, even Adam suspected something was going on- That's what gave it all away." Michael explained to Cas. 

"How-? I don't know how it’s possible for this vessel to be expecting, my grace must've reacted, like you, I have only ever heard of female vessels being able to do so. I guess this is karma for me taunting Sam," Cas declared. 

"Because that is the colour of your wings and of Dean’s soul. Speaking of, does Dean know?" His older brother asked. 

"No, I'd like to keep it that way until I figure some things out," Cass said. 

"Fine by me, but hurry, I'd say you have very few weeks until you start showing," Michael stated.

"What if Adam says something to him?" Castiel fretted. 

"Don't worry, Adam is trustworthy, I would know," Michael responded, he trusted Adam more than he trusted himself. “What's it like?” He added.

“Expecting? It’s a unique sensation, it can be uncomfortable, but the warmth given is second to none.” Cas said.

“I was wondering more about being taken by a human, particularly a male…” Michael clarified.

“Oh, it's very pleasurable, perhaps more so than being with a woman, at least for me personally.” Castiel looked at his older brother somewhat admirably for a moment, he really had changed from the Michael he once was, "Thank you, Michael."

"For what?" His eldest brother asked, confused. 

"For actually being there for me as a brother. I've not really had a bond like this with the other Angel's before.” 

"I guess you're not as bad as I once thought. When I cast lucifer out it hurt. He was my baby brother, I raised him in a way no one could have understood. And after his betrayal, I vowed never to be so close to anyone again. But I guess I made an exception for Adam, why not make one for my own brother?" Michael spoke, smiling at Castiel who was touched by his brother's affection. 

“You know this is something of an anomaly?” Michael told Castiel.

“How so? I know Nephilim are rare but, there have been a few in our time.” Cas spoke.

“Yes, but the Nephilim have always been fathered by Angels, and mothered by a human, in this case, its the opposite, the father is a human male and the Angel is pregnant.” Michael remarked, “The way this child functions could be entirely different from a Nephilim, it could be something completely new.” he summed, much to Cas’ fascination.

"You okay Adam?" Dean asked his younger brother. 

"Yeah, yeah man. Are you?" He got out, feeling uneasy about lying to the man but not wanting to destroy Michael's Faith in him. 

"Yeah, I'm okay man." Dean replied 

"You spoke to Bobby lately?” Adam asked, steering the conversation

"Yeah I keep in touch, but it's not the same you know?”

“I get it. Same person but not the same Bobby. Regardless, do you think he could come up with any ideas about Chuck? I mean if he's even half as awesome as our Bobby I'm sure he would have a slight notion about what could be done right?”

“Man two smartasses for brothers, you know how annoying that is?” Dean joked.

“You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for Dean.” Adam smiled reassuringly at Dean.  
He’d known Dean had always doubted his own intelligence and belittled himself because he hadn’t ever cared much for school unlike Sam, or gone away to college as he and Sam had. The only reason Adam had managed to go was that Dean had pushed him to do so, and so he went to study pre-med, but then their father had gone missing and the apocalypse got in the way- now he didn't care much for it.

“Thanks, Adam, that means a lot.” 

“I’m only telling the truth.”

“How's uh Michael doing?”

“What, you prefer Michael to me now?” Adam jested.

“He's great but that's not it. I was just wondering. I noticed he's been spending a lot of time with Cas lately and he seems to be getting along well with him.”

“Why are you jealous? But yeah, they've been rebuilding their brotherly bond and I honestly think it’s been good for then both after everything to have a mutual bonding point. I think its good for the both of them, don't worry though, I’ll let Michael know you want more time with your angel and to stop hogging him” Adam quipped.

“Nah, I don't mind was just wonderin’- but that's true about the mutual bond thing though.” Dean was flustered at his brother's question, looking anywhere but in Adam’s eyes.  
Adam smirked in response, knowing his older brother all too well.

“That's why I decided I'll talk to Sam. For you. I know it’s been worrying you. Sam and I were never as close as we are but I'm willing to try to at least play nice. For your sake and for mom and dad. Plus we're gonna be uncle’s soon and the last thing this family needs is more dysfunction.”  
Adam declared; it was mostly due to the guilt he was feeling carrying around both Cas and Sam’s secrets from Dean.

“Tell me about it.” Dean chuckled, "And thank you, Adam. I appreciate it." Dean spoke regarding Adams willingness to find common ground with Sam for his sake.


	50. Hi. Glad to meet you, Bobby Singer, paranoid bastard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof, i have a 2000 word essay due in tomorrow that I currently have 200 words for, yet here I am.

“You’re that Mary Campbell right?” asked the gruff voice.

“Winchester, but yeah, that's me.” Mary clarified, turning around, slightly confused by the man who stood before her.

“Bobby? Bobby singer?” John asked, stepping forward, a huge grin on his face.  
John hadn't realised Bobby was still alive, but he had been good to John and his boys.  
“You’re the one who looked out for our boys after we… I’m so grateful they had you, Bobby,” Mary thanked, smiling at the man when her husband clarified his identity. 

“I’m sorry, do I know you boy?” Bobby questioned John, much to John's dismay.  
He had no recollection of John, perhaps he was someone familiar to the Bobby that used to exist here.

“It’s me, John Winchester? We were friends for, heck years, you used to look after the boys when they were young and I was hunting? Mind you the last time I saw you you threatened to shoot me but…” John spoke, taking a step back.

“Hey Bobby, thanks for coming so quick. How are Jody and Claire?” Dean questioned, nodding at the man.  
He looked a lot like the Bobby who had cared for him and who he had cared about, but his lack of memories instantly gave away the difference between the two.

“Ah, Bobby, you’re no fun without your memories, the times we shared- irreplaceable.” Crowley jested, interrupting Bobby causing Dean to roll his eyes.

“I could help with that!” Jack announced, walking into the room.

“Jack? You're alive!” Cas said, stepping towards his surrogate son, embracing him, Dean following close behind.  
For someone who had just come back from the dead, he looked exceptional.  
“Its good to have you back man, you scared us.” Dean joked, clapping him on the back.

"Hello." Jack said, directing it the others in the room, his signature stiff wave accompanying the word.  
John and Mary didn't know how to react, their own resurrection had thrown them but to witness another was all the more puzzling.

Jack stepped towards Bobby placing a hand on his head.  
"Are you sure you're up for that?" Cas asked, concerned, Jack nodded eagerly in response. 

“You might wanna sit down for this,” He said, leading Bobby over to a chair as Jack’s eyes flashed Ochroid.

“He seems like he's in good shape,” John spoke about the Nephilim to Castiel, who nodded in response, confused.

“Look, I’m sorry. Who I was back then, that's not who I am anymore. You deserved better from me and I regret the way I treated you. But thank you for giving me another shot.” Sam spoke to his older twin.  
Sam had admittedly, been an asshole to him, even before he had the Demon blood as an excuse.   
All of a sudden out of nowhere when he had turned 14 this twin brother had been propelled into his life, it had thrown him. Before he knew of Adam, it had just been him and Dean and sometimes his father when he wasn't busy out on a hunt. So adding Adam, who needed taking care of more than he did, it hadn't sat right with Sam.  
For the longest time, he hadn't even believed him to truly be his brother, surely if he was there would've been some evidence somewhere, or Dean would've told him.  
It wasn't until his father had noticed the hostility when they were 15 and shown him pictures and a birth certificate, still Sam didn't warm up to Adam.  
Adam had tried his hardest with Sam, if he knew Sam didn't like something he was doing, he would refrain from it. He also noticed Sam got a little jealous when Adam and Dean had formed a close bond. So he tried to spend less time with him, but Dean had noticed and reprimanded the pair of them, from then on they got along for the sake of Dean.  
But this time Sam wanted it to be better, and deep down, so did Adam.

“Yeah, I could see it was worrying Dean, and I figured now that Michael and I have decided to stay, it’s best we’re on good terms. That and when my Nieces/ Nephews come, they don't need dysfunction, they need a good home, and hopefully, this will help.” Adam spoke.

“Yeah man, thank you, honestly.” Sam expressed, Adam half-smiled in response before they left for the library where everyone awaited.

“John? And are you Mary? How are y- You know what you’re Winchesters, it makes sense.” Bobby stated having arose from his unconsciousness, chuckling, he then turned looking at Sam and Dean.

“Idjits.” He smiled, pulling them both in for a hug.

He pulled back from the hug, noticing someone behind the brothers, “Adam?” He greeted, confused about him being there, but delighted nonetheless.

“Bobby,” Adam returned, smiling back at the man who pulled him in for a hug.

“I see you’re still hanging about,” He directed at Crowley, he wasn't sure of what to make of the Demon King, but figured if the Winchesters could give him a chance, so could he.

“Of course Bobby, darling, couldn’t miss all this could I?” He smirked at Bobby who looked at the Winchester brothers confused.

“Yeah, there's a lot to fill you in on, but I’m sure Michael can fix that." 

“As in, the first archangel, who wanted to possess you, Michael?” Bobby asked Dean, bordering exasperation.

“Yeah, that's me” Adam waved, eyes flashing Azure.

“Well, that's, terrific.” He said taking a seat, 'Just another day at the office' he thought, trusting the boys knew what they were doing as Michael touched his head.

“Just how bad is this problem boys?”

“We’re talking apocalypse take- what? Five, now?”

“Yeah sounds about right.” Sam calculated.

Bobby shook his head exasperated, letting Michael do his work.

“He should just need a half-hour, I was just filling in the gaps since he died so nothing major." Michael informed, finishing his handiwork as they left Bobby to sleep on the spare bed.

“You know how weird it is that that even makes sense?” Dean spoke.

“Right.” Sam breathed out.

"Hey, Jack. It’s late, why are you awake?"

"I was just thinking."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Sure"  
Jack felt something different about the energy Castiel was giving off,  
"Are you alright Castiel?"

"Of course, why?" Cas looked at him, a mixture of confused and nervous.

"You seem different, your grace... I'm probably just not used to you being an Archangel yet." Jack stopped questioning when he saw the uncomfortable expression flicker on the Angel's face.

Cas smiled awkwardly in response, silently thanking him for dropping the questions before asking;  
"What's the matter?"

"I don't know what to do Cas. I'm trying to be good. I know I'm good. But it’s like everything is trying to make me be bad. Trying to make me hurt people. I don't want to be like Lucifer or my grandfather. I wanna be like you, Dean or Sam!" Jack expressed, a slight burden lingering in his eyes as he thought about what he had to do. 

"Jack you're nothing like them. What even makes you think that? You're a wonderful person and I'm so proud of who you're becoming. What you're doing. I'm sure Kelly would be so proud too." The Archangel soothed him.

"You really think so?" The Nephilim asked perking up.

"I know it, Jack. You've already done so much good. You've restored heaven partially, and I haven't thanked you properly yet but you gave me my wings back and turned me into an archangel, I'm so grateful for that. You are not a bad person. At times good people have to do awful things for the greater good. Sometimes you just need to look at the bigger picture."

"Thank you, Cas. That means so much to me."

"You're welcome, Jack. Anytime. Enjoy your cereal." Cas smiled, walking off with Dean's beer. 

He had a lot to think about.


	51. No! Spit it out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry, kind of a filler, that essay was exhausting.

"YOU KILLED MY SON?"

Chuck was pissed, Lucifer was meant to be the answer to all his problems- that and he was the only person in all the galaxy he still gave the slightest crap about.

"You did the same to him. It’s not like he didn't have it coming." Amara said nonchalantly to her seething little brother.

"Okay. I get it. It’s just, I’ve learned a valuable lesson about how important family is recently- I was wondering are you sure you don't wanna give our duo another shot? There's nothing in the way.” Chuck prevaricated

“Why would I do that to myself? I don't have the level of self-hatred you do Chuck. Leave me out of your pathetic games.” 

“Amara. You need me.” 

“No. I really don't. If my time in confinement taught me anything. It's that I'm better off alone. If anything, you need me.”  
Chuck reached out in annoyance, trying to grab her arm before she flicked him off. 

“Don't. Even on your best day, you couldn't force my hand. And this is not your best day. In fact, I don't think you can do much of anything. Ah, a few parlour tricks, perhaps, but you can't leave this world, not without my help. And me? I'm done, Chuck. I've changed. I've adapted. I've... I've become the better me. And you? You are still the same... petulant, narcissistic. So... I'm leaving you here. Once, long ago, you sealed me away. Now, in a way... I'm doing the same to you. You're trapped, diminished, abandoned. So I guess you got what you've always wanted. You're on your own.” She said, getting ready to leave. Before she walked out the door she saw a look of defiance in Chuck’s eyes and added,

"I suggest you tone it down a little or I might just end up snapping my fingers the wrong way.” She threatened, sick of her brother thinking he could control her.

“Bitch,” he whispered once she’d left, fuming.

"If there is a way. We'll find it. We always do." Bobby assured the boys. 

"Thanks, Bobby. Man, I missed you." Dean spoke, going to grab himself a beer. 

"Jody doesn't mind you staying for a while does she?" Sam asked.  
Even though he was from a different world from theirs, Bobby had clicked with Jody instantly, leading to a whirlwind romance which had resulted in a spontaneous marriage.

"Naw, she knows it's important. Are you alright kid? You look like you've not slept in a month."

"I feel like it too. I'm fine though." Sam brushed off. 

"I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. Now stop your Winchester brooding and talk to me boy." Bobby spoke. 

"Never could hide anything from you bobby. But I'd prefer it if Dean didn't find out."

"Okay. You gonna tell me what it is?"

"Obviously you know Rowena is pregnant."

"I'm happy for you. Can't believe you're with Crowley’s mom but I'm happy for ya.” The older man grinned. 

“Thanks, Bobby, she makes me happy,” Sam paused for a moment, a hint of a smile on his face that disappeared as he continued, “But then when I was doing the trials to close the hell gates. I had to rescue a soul from hell. Remember as I did with you a few years ago?”

“Yeah, I think I do. With the Purgatory and Dean’s vampire friend.” 

“Yeah, Benny. Well, Crowley told us that Eileen; a girl who was a very close friend, a great hunter. She was in hell. So I rescued her and because I didn't have to go through purgatory I didn't have to carry her soul and things got. Intense and one thing led to another and I basically got her ghost pregnant. I didn't even know it was possible.”

"You what? Are you a natural-born idjit?” Bobby said, processing what he had been told, “Ah, Sam. Don't worry. I won’t tell Dean. I still can't believe Crowley actually came good.” 

“Yeah, he did. He's been great. Amazing in fact.” 

“Are you just saying that because he's your stepson now?” Bobby teased, to Sam’s furore

“What no? Ew. Please don’t call him that again. When Cas died a few months back, Dean was worse than a mess, he helped a lot- but anyway. With the final trial, things got even messier. We had to get a demon to cure.” 

“Cas died? Wait, come again? Cure a demon.” 

“Yeah, Lucifer, I’ll explain later- but its a really cool ritual actually. I'll explain it properly some time. So Crowley picked up a random demon, not really checking who it was, that's where the issue began,” Sam took a shaky breath before continuing, visibly distressed, “The demon turned out to be Jessica,”

“As in the Azazel smoked on the roof, the whole reason you even started hunting again, Jessica?” 

“Yeah,” Sam puffed out.

“Well, what happened? How’d she end up in hell?” Bobby questioned, as gently as he knew how.

“Azazel, he was in control of hell at the time, and like Crowley with your soul, if Azazel didn’t like someone and didn't want them to go upstairs, they wouldn’t. So she ended up down there because of me,”

“And they tortured her until she became a demon?” 

“No, they tortured her, but she resisted, she thought I’d save her, but then she found out what I’d become so she gave in and became a demon. Bobby, when she died,” Sam resisted the urge to cry, “She was pregnant, so it’s not only her death I was responsible for, I was also responsible for the death of our child,”

Bobby paused for a moment, feeling sorry for Sam,  
“Sam, I’m sorry son, but that was not your fault. That was that yellow-eyed bastard, that was not on you.”

“Yeah, but it gets worse.” Sam stated

“How?” Bobby questioned

“So during this ritual, the demon can sometimes become strong enough to escape their traps,”

“And she did that and she got away?”

“No, she did that and then forced herself on me.”

“Like she-?” Bobby asked, wearing an apologetic expression

“Yeah, and now she's pregnant and down by the dungeon in a room shackled until she gives birth and I kill her.” Sam replied

“But, but if you didn't finish the ritual, she's still a demon,” the older man stated

“Meaning my 3rd child is a Cambion.”

“But Sam, Cambions they’re-”

“I know Bobby, but at the end of the day it’s my child, we kept Lucifer's child and he’s amazing, there's no reason this would be any different.

“Well I trust you know what you’re doing, you’re just gonna have to make sure you can kill Jessica when all this is done.” he spoke, “Things have changed so much since I was gone, it’s not just monsters and demons anymore,” Bobby puffed out surveying the situation.

“Yeah, things went a little crazy.” Sam half-joked.

“I take it Dean doesn't know about any of this?” 

“You really think Jessica would still be alive if he did?” 

“True, I’ll keep it hush until you’re ready to tell.” Bobby said, smiling at the younger legacy.


	52. It's funnier in Enochian.

"Jack. It’s me. Your grandfather, Chuck? Look I'm sorry about killing you. It was an accident. You’re Lucifer's son. And with your power, I thought you were going to hurt the Winchesters. I was trying to protect everyone from you.” He lied, “Look how about we meet up someplace, just the two of us no one to interrupt. Talk it through? So I can apologize properly, maybe we can make everything right- together?" 

Jack startled awake, gasping.  
‘Was that real?’ He couldn't quite tell. 

He decided to ignore it. If it happened again then he would decide what to do. But right now he had other things to think about. Like about if he even wanted to stay or more importantly if he wanted to keep his powers. 

"Dean I've come to-" Amara stopped mid-sentence confused as she analysed the lack of space between Dean and Cas. 

"Amara- I uh," Dean spoke, suddenly aware of how close he was to Cas, taking a slight step away. 

"So I was right." He was- is in love with the angel. 

"About what?" Dean questioned, genuinely confused. 

"Never mind.” She turned the conversation.

"Its okay, Cas knows everything," Dean discoursed, guessing Amara’s awkwardness had something to do with her proposal to him. 

'Of course, he does.' she thought, unimpressed. 

"You, nephew, there's something different about you" she eyed him suspiciously, taking a step closer until Dean stepped in front of him.  
Cas got nervous, was his secret about to be prematurely revealed to Dean?

Before Cas could think of a suitable answer Dean spoke for him "he had an upgrade recently." 

Amara was unconvinced- this was something else. But she didn't care enough to investigate.  
“Have you come to a decision yet?” She asked, turning her attention to Dean instead.

"I need just a few more weeks, please.“ Dean pleaded

"I'll give you a few more days,” Amara stated

"What? No- Amara this is a big thing I need time-” He added, getting cut off,

"And that is what you don't have Dean. My brother is getting desperate. So much so, he tried to force me to help him. Obviously I'm stronger than him and I refused. So I would say a couple of days should be fine. I'll give you until Friday.” Amara reasoned. 

“But that's like- 3 days!" Dean exclaimed. 

“See you in three days then, Dean.” Amara spoke, leaving. 

"Three days?" Cas repeated exasperated.  
Were he not a celestial being with no given lifespan, he was pretty sure Dean would've prematurely caused his death by stressing him out.

"Well, time to do whatever I want whilst I still have the ability to feel things," Dean concluded. 

"Dean. Don't you think you should tell anyone else? Like at least maybe Sam or Adam?"

"No Cas. They don't need to know. I'll tell them-"

"What in the last hour?"

"No, I have other things planned for that. But I'll tell them on the final morning so they have some time to process but not enough to talk me out of it."

"Why? Are you having doubts?"

"Of course I'm having doubts man. I'm about to take over for one of the strongest entities. The literal darkness. You think that's easy?" 

"No Dean I didn't mean-"

"Nah it’s ok. Sorry man. It’s just a lot. Thank you for having my back on this." Dean said, smiling at the Angel tenderly. 

"Its fine Dean. Just please don't do anything you'll regret."

"Alright, Cas. Fancy a trip to the bar?" Dean said, grabbing his jacket. 

"Of course Dean." 

"By the way. We'll be driving. I wanna make the most of using Baby before I can just zap to places." 

"You're going to stop driving? But you love the Impala?"

"Hell no. I won't leave Baby for anything. But everything is going to change and I may not drive as much." 

"Yeah, there's a lot to think about Dean." 

There was a lot to consider, a lot to say, Dean just wanted to avoid it all, clearly, the Angel didn't want him in that way, so he just had to settle for friendship, hopefully becoming the darkness would get rid of his feelings, but did he really want that? 

"I just- man. Let just go. C'mon." Dean gestured to Cas to follow. 

“Sam, can I talk to you a minute?” A fretful Mary approached her youngest.

“Sure mom. What's up? Dad ok?” Sam asked, confused by the pained expression on his mother's face.

“Yeah John's fine, he's asleep,” Mary replied, taking a seat as Sam checked the time, it was 3 am.

“What're you doing up so late?”

“I'm sorry I promise I wasn't spying, I was coming in here to talk to you earlier and I overheard some of your conversation with Bobby.” 

“So uh you know?” Sam said, embarrassed.

“Yeah. I'm so sorry Sammy.”

“It's ok mom.” Sam didn't want to worry his mother by becoming a mess in front of her as he had with Rowena

“No, it’s not. What she did. I- sorry. I shouldn't push you to talk about it, but I’m here if you ever want to. Does Rowena know?"

"Yeah, thanks mom- I had to tell her I didn't want her to hate me.” 

“And she's ok with it all?"

“About as ok as I am."

“I’m sorry Sammy." she said, hugging him tightly.

“Me too." he said, relaxing into his mother’s arms.

After the bar, Cas had left. Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd actually been able to get drunk.  
He got home around 08:30 am, Sam had woken up and was on his way to go for a run, he needed the air. 

Then he saw his brother, “What the hell happened to you.”

“Uh, i had a few drinks.” Dean managed to spew out, as he stumbled in the corridor.

“Dean, this is more than a few drinks, this, you never get drunk, you're like completely desensitised to alcohol, the last time you did this Cas was- is Cas okay?” Sam panicked slightly.

“Yeah, he left the bar like 2 hours before me.”

“Why did you get drunk?” Sam asked, confused.

“Because I wanted to man, am I- hic- not allowed a little fun?”

“Yeah, but not at the expense of your health- wait did you drive back?”

“I dunno, I think, but I thought I saw Cas butidunno.” Dean garbled, looking around confused.

“It’s okay Sam, I’ll take him to his room,” the Angel said, walking up to wrap Dean's arm around his shoulder.

“Cas I don't wanna sleep too long, mmm, just like 2 hours ‘kay?” Dean mumbled, “Can you cure hangovers?” he asked, sounding like a curious child.

“Yes, Dean,” Dean grumbled in response as he took off his jacket, laying on the bed.

“Can you stay?” Dean pleaded, he wanted to ask the angel to lay with him, but he didn't know what he would do in this state so the speck of sober in him decided against it, “y’ know, to make sure I do wake up in 2 hours, I only have 3 days left, i don't wanna waste them.” Dean spoke, sober for a moment as he looked meaningfully into the Angel’s eyes.

“Of course, Dean.” Cas said, taking his seat as he stared at the hunter woefully.

“Great, g’ night man.”

Cas didn’t like this, not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions let me know,  
thanks for reading!


	53. The curious case of Dean Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know I've been uploading new chapters for the past few weeks every day but for the next 4 weeks, I'll be uploading less regularly, maybe 2/3 times a week instead of daily- I will try to be more frequent if possible but no promises.  
I'm really sorry but I promise will upload daily again as soon as I am able to! 
> 
> I hope that's okay and thank you for reading.

“What is going on with Dean?” Adam asked his equally confused twin as he joined him in the Kitchen.

“Not a clue. But he's been acting so weird right? Especially this morning, for the second day in a row, he was drunk?”

“Dean can still get drunk without dying?” Adam asked, genuinely surprised considering how much alcohol it would take for Dean to even get tipsy, 

Sam chuckled in response, “Ever since Amara came, he's been so cagey and weird.” he added, smile fading.

“Maybe hiding his feelings is finally making him crack.” Adam cracked, Sam chuckled in response.  
Adam had just seen the older hunter singing at the top of his lungs on the War room table, it was an odd sight, but he left him to it.

“There has to be something he isn't telling us…” Sam concluded, Adam rolled his eyes.

“Its Dean, obviously there's something he isn't telling us, but I think I know who might have answers…” 

After all these years, Sam had almost forgotten how close his two older brothers were and how well Adam could read Dean.

“Cas…” Sam had picked up on how the Angel had been acting more reticent than usual.

“But he won’t tell us anything, especially if Dean’s asked him not too, he’s too loyal, particularly to Dean.” Adam surmised.

“Yeah, I know it.” Sam spoke, feeling guilt about his own secret he’d told Cas to keep, “maybe we should talk to Cas, he might know how to help Dean deal with it better?” he suggested.

“I mean yeah, we can't, but he will, he is his Angel after all.” both the brothers smirked at the comment.

“He’s acting sort of like he did before he... before he made that deal for me and went to hell.” Sam registered, panic rising within him.

“Crap, what the hell has he done?” Adam blew out. 

"Whats wrong with Dean?” Jack said, a muddled expression on his face; entering the Kitchen alongside Crowley and Rowena.

“I’m not sure I want to know after what I just saw.” Rowena said, an exasperated expression on her face.

“What's he doing now?” Adam questioned the pair.

“Well for starters, he's in denim booty shorts- he does know feathers probably doesn't dig that right?” Crowley spoke, causing Sam to giggle.  
He threw an arm around the woman as Rowena took a seat beside him.

“Man I’ve not seen those since we took a short-lived break like 2 years ago when it was all quiet,” Sam recollected, “Can't believe he still has those,” Sam recalled being horrified at the sight of his brother washing the impala in them.

John walked into the kitchen looking disturbed, Mary followed, confusion plastered on her expression.

“The shorts?” Adam questioned the disturbed look on his parents face, smirking, as they walked in.

“On the table? Is he-” Mary spoke.

“We don't know but-” Sam was interrupted by Bobby

“That ain’t right, Dean hasn’t been this relaxed since he got high off that Turducken.” Bobby recalled piling in.

“What's this then, a family discussion about an intervention for Dean?” Crowley suggested.

“We need a bigger table…” Rowena quipped.

“Well we have one, but Dean is currently living out Led Zeppelin’s greatest hits on it.” John pointed out, as everyone looked at each other professedly confused about what was wrong with Dean.

“Hey Cas, can we talk to you for a sec?” Sam beckoned the Angel who was seemingly heading towards Dean’s room, everyone had gone back to their respective rooms at this point, bar Adam and himself, who were sat there discussing Dean.

“Everything alright?” Cas asked, slightly nervous as he approached the non-identical twins cautiously.

“What's going on with Dean?” Adam asked, getting straight to the point.

“What do you mean?” Cas knew the inquiry was coming, but it didn't make him any more prepared for it.

“You know what I mean Cas. Did he make some dumb deal with Chuck or death or something? Is that why he’s acting so weird?”

Sam tried to make Adam’s questions sound less harsh, adding, “Yeah we’re just worried about him man, he doesn't do things like this unless he’s made a deal or he’s mourning.”

“Well, he was grieving for Jack, maybe he's just letting off some steam in a more healthy way than we're used to?” Cas pointed out, trying to hide that he knew the truth.

“We all were, hell, you were closer to him- besides he's back now.” Adam pointed out. 

“You know Dean, he does what he wants when he wants, it's just the way he is.” Cas attempted to brush off.

“Cas everyone knows he drinks heavily, but he never gets drunk. The last time he did that was when he was grieving for you.” Sam said, his worried tone matching his expression.

“He got drunk when I died?” Cas knew Dean had built up a resistance to getting drunk through his habit of alcoholism, so to hear this genuinely shocked him.

“Yeah, a few times actually, he was pretty messed up.” Sam said, recalling how bad Dean had gotten.

Cas was slightly taken aback by the confession, and then it dawned on him since he’d been back, since Dodge, he and Dean hadn’t had a chance to properly speak to one another, there was always something or another that got in the way. He had no idea what Dean had been through, yet here he was yet again, shying away from the man who was about to give his whole life away just to make things right for everyone.

“You are okay aren't you, like there's nothing wrong with you that could make him act like this is there?” Sam asked, worried about his close friend, Adam stiffened at the question, uncomfortable, knowing Cas’ secret. Could that be the reason Dean was acting out? No way, Dean would be ecstatic, he’d shout it from the rooftops.

"Not that I know of, no."

“Just don’t let anything happen to him okay?” Sam implored the archangel.

“I would never- Don't worry Sam, Adam, he’ll be okay, I’ll make sure of it,” Cas promised.

“Cass!” Dean emitted as the Archangel walked into his room.  
Dean was currently jumping on his bed, singing along to a Zep track, in very short shorts- he liked it. Cas couldn’t help the hint of the smile on his face, he hadn’t seen Dean this carefree since, well, ever.  
As soon as he recalled why the man was acting this way the smile soon drifted, turning into an expression of concern and unease. 

Dean broke his bravado for a second, knowing the look on the Angel’s face all too well.

“Dean we need to talk.”


	54. You know who does that? Crazy people!

“What's up Cas?” Dean said from the bed.

“Dean, you do realise you have just under 24 hours left until you become the Darkness.” His face dropped.

“Yeah, I think I know that, why do you think I was jumping on my bed? I don't do that for kicks.” Dean pointed out, he didn't want to have this conversation right now. 

“I gathered that Dean, but everyone is so worried about you, they don't know what's happening, you need to tell them.”

“Cas I told you I’ll tell them at lunch,”

“Dean-”

“What?”

“You need to tell them now, it’s not-”

Dean hopped down off the bed and made his way towards the angel, his smile had long since wilted.  
“Not what Cas? Not fair? When has life ever been fair to me? To us? Nothing will change that. I'm not gonna apologise for taking my time on this one, i don't need them all up in my ear wasting my last day being lectured about something that HAS to be done.”  
He headed towards the door, frustrated, he didn't want to spend his last day mad at Cas, he just wanted a drive to clear his head.

“They’re just worried, Dean.” Cas’ eyes followed the hunter, “So am I.” 

Dean turned to look at Cas who had a stressed expression hammered onto his face.  
Maybe the Angel did care about him more than he thought?  
Still, nothing could change his mind on this.

Cas was sat in his room lost in thought when he began feeling weird.   
He couldn’t tell whether it was the baby or the stress from Dean, or a mixture of both.  
He felt something in his stomach, it was unfamiliar, so he focused on it.  
He was... hungry?   
He hadn't been hungry since he was human, even back then the feeling had been an unpleasant one.  
He wasn't quite sure why, but perhaps it had something to do with the child.  
The thought made him feel guilty, maybe if he told Dean, Dean would take a more rational approach?  
But this was Dean when did he ever take a rational approach about anything, the angel sighed aloud at the thought.  
He made a mental note to ask Michael more about angelic pregnancies later on, he figured he’d probably know more, having dealt with Nephilim in the past.

He looked at the time, it was 05:25 am, Dean had gone out for a drive and everyone else would be asleep at least until 6 am. He decided he would take the opportunity to get something to eat from the kitchen without any questions or side glances.

Cas walked into the Kitchen startled by Dean.

“Morning sunshine, want some coffee?” Dean said gesturing to the pot with his spatula, seemingly in a much more pleasant mood than he was a short while ago.

“Dean?” Cas was confused, he’d left behind a disgruntled Dean in shorts and a frown. Yet here he was an hour later, in his jeans, maroon shirt and a smile on his face as he cooked bacon.  
He hadn't even heard the hunter go back to his room, Dean's stealth was something to marvel at.

“You hungry? I’m making breakfast.” Dean knew Cas didn't eat, yet he’d always kept the habit of asking the angel if he wanted anything. So you could say he was a little surprised when   
Cass replied saying,

“Yeah, what are you making.” 

Dean wasn't sure if Cas was being serious or just indulging him because of his impending trial, either way, he didn't have enough mental capacity to ask any questions.  
“Everything, I figured I should make everyone some breakfast so they can at least eat before they barf it all out when I tell them what's going on.” 

“I thought you were going to wait until lunch.” 

“I was, but you’re right, they deserve to know, it’s going to affect them too.” Dean said piling two plates full of bacon and scrambled eggs.

“Plus cooking, I enjoy it, it’s relaxing.” Dean spoke, shyly.

“Are we not waiting for them?” Cas asked about the others.

“Naw there's about a half-hour till they all get up, I’ll make them some fresh bacon when they do.” Cas nodded in response digging in.

He moaned at the taste of the bacon, “This is incredible Dean.” He hadn’t cared for it much when he was a human but guessed it probably had something to do with the baby and Dean’s love for bacon.

“Thanks, Cas. uh, you alright? You don't eat or taste things normally.”   
Dean looked at him suspiciously for a second, was this to do with why the Angel was acting weird or was it because of him?

“Yeah I just uh, thought I’d try some, to see if I could.” Cas replied, not allowing his nerves to show.

“Well, mission accomplished. I'm glad you like it.” Dean beamed at the Angel, endeared as he guzzled down his forkful of bacon with a swig of coffee.   
He just wanted some time, just the two of them before the inevitable chaos ensued.

“YOU’RE GOING TO DO WHAT?!” Adam spoke on behalf of both himself and Michael and perhaps everybody else who was sitting at the table.

“So this is why you made breakfast and have been acting like you’re about to make a dumb deal because YOU ARE about to make a DUMB deal. WITH THE FRIGGIN DARKNESS- DUDE.” Sam added, running a stressed hand through his hair.

John and Mary were bewildered, “So what does this mean?” John asked, surprisingly calmly.

“It means he’s going to become the darkness, stronger than, well everything, including Chuck and bar the Shadow, naturally.” Crowley informed,

“This is insane, you don't actually believe her do you?” Michael spoke.

“You can't actually be considering this?” Bobby questioned Dean.

“I’m not considering it, I’ve made up my mind.” He snapped looking towards Cas for reassurance, Cas nodded, “I’m going to do this, it’s a means to an end.”

“What like the Mark of Cain was? That's the whole reason the darkness was let loose in the first place. Have you actually thought about this?” Sam asked in a more reasonable tone of voice.

“The whole reason I didn't tell you guys from the get-go was that I knew you would all react like this. I’ve made up my mind, you either get on board or keep your mouth shut, it’s simple.” Dean dictated.

“Cas, why didn't you tell us?” Mary questioned.

Cas sighed, “Beca-” 

“Don't bring this on him, he was being a loyal mate, he promised me, and I know Cas wouldn’t lie to me and would tell me his honest opinion from an objective view.”

“Unbiased? Dean, he's practically your boy-”

“Can it Sam. It’s happening, nothing is going to change that. Don't go giving him any grief, this was my choice.” Dean interrupted, “It’s happening, and I’d rather spend this time enjoying myself with you guys, not the opposite.” he added in a softer tone.

“He really did inherit your stubbornness,” Mary said, looking at an exasperated John.

“How long do you have?” Sam asked.

“About 17 hours.” Dean replied- the reality of the situation at hand was beginning to dawn on him.

“Great.”


	55. Doing the, uh- Dumb, right thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samwena and DeanCas rights.

No one was happy with the decision, but Dean was right, it would be better that they spent his last normal Dean day as a family, united. Rather than at each other's throats about a matter that couldn’t be changed.

Rowena’s morning sickness had kicked in so she went to go and lay down, Crowley had gone to make sure she was okay so Sam didn't have to, recently he had become much more welcoming towards his mother and their bond had grown stronger.

This had left just the Winchesters, Jack and Bobby.

They all sat together for a while, talking, drinking and laughing despite the thick air of tension in the room.

Jack was excited because Dean had allowed him more than one beer. Dean found it amusing, he'd appreciated Cas' look of approval of the two getting along.

There were a few glances of judgement and worry cast Dean’s way but he paid them no mind, he was not going to let anything ruin today, instead, he ignored it, sipping his beer worrying silently.

Crowley and Rowena rejoined eventually, upon the Demon's entrance Dean spoke up;  
"Y'know Crowley. You're pretty great… for a Demon. I'm glad to have you as a friend."

"Finally the respect I deserve. Much appreciated squirrel." Crowley smiled at him sincerely for a moment, but he couldn't help himself as his mouth took over, "But you're not dying, you're evolving. You all need to cheer up. You do realise this will take Amara out of the equation meaning one less all-powerful being for you guys to worry about." Crowley pointed out

"Hate to say it, but he's right," Bobby agreed with the king regarding Amara. 

"What if the darkness consumes me though. To a point where I become destructive? I could hurt so many people.” Dean fretted as the realisation sunk in.  
Cas could feel Dean's worry, but he knew better than to comment in front of everyone but hated he couldn't help the man.

"You're Dean bloody Winchester. Not some dumb- well, incompetent idiot." Crowley reassured him. Cas nodded along in agreement, helping steer away Dean's negative thoughts for a grand total of 5 minutes. 

"I went from being a simple hunter to the righteous man and now this..." Dean looked queasy at his words.

"Don't forget you're also something called a legacy, you bore the mark of Cain, became a Knight of Hell and are now one of the most renowned and greatest hunters, revered practically worldwide." Crowley added.

"Yeah so much for that 'simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing', you're a good man." Michael requoted himself.

Dean thought about what he had accomplished as just himself, an 'insignificant' human, just him and his family against all the evil the world had to offer. He looked around admiring the family sat around him.  
Maybe he did have something to be proud of.

"I'm gonna go for a little drive, Cas you wanna come with?" Dean asked the angel once everyone was busy. 

"Of course, Dean"

“Hey Ro, You two doin’ okay?” Sam asked, walking into his room where Rowena was waiting for him. She had left a little earlier, her back causing her discomfort.

“Yes, Samuel, we're fine.” She said, brushing a hand over her petite bump  
Had it been anyone else he would’ve corrected them for saying Samuel, but when it was her, he really didn't mind.

He took a seat alongside the redhead, apprehensive. 

“What's the matter?” She inquired, regarding his nerves.

“Just this whole deal with the darkness that Dean is making,” he grumbled.

“It does sound intense but like he said it’s for the greater good. I'm sure he'll still be Dean for the most part, just much more powerful.”

“What if it makes him go Dark?” 

“Look, Sam, we'll cross the bridge when and if we come to it. But you of all people should know this is Dean if anything he'll make the darkness seem better than the light. I’ve not known him as long as you have, but I know he's a good man.”  
How far she had come from claiming she barely knew the man, to being part of his family.

“Yeah, you're right. I guess I’m just nervous.” 

“Ah, Sam. Come here," Rowena said, taking the hunter into her arms.  
Sam felt instantly relaxed. The feeling of her warmth combined with the small bump he could feel was sensational.  
“Rowena?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Do you want to move in with me?” he asked, pulling away from the hug, but still keeping his hands on her arms.

“What do you mean? I'm already living here.” 

“No, I mean, do you want to move into my room with me?”

Rowena pulled away for a minute slightly taken aback by the proposition.  
She'd not shared a bed with anyone in over 350 years and even that was brief. She gazed up at the towering man, his eyes were bright and gorgeous and full of affection.  
This is what she had silently dreamed about all her life.  
"I guess I can indulge you." She quipped, a smirk on her face that Sam adored. 

"Only if you’re comfortable," Sam replied. 

"Of course I am you numpty,” Rowena responded with a wide grin on her face as she lured him in for a smooch. 

“Cas, thank you, man.” Dean spoke as they parked back up into the bunker garage.

“What for Dean?”

“For everything, for being there for me, putting up with my crap. All of it.” Dean expressed.

“Its okay Dean, you don't need to, you don't need to thank me, I’m your friend.”  
The last word stung him a little, he knew he wanted more, but he didn't want to drive the angel away.

Castiel looked at the man with concern, he looked troubled, which was no surprise considering what he was about to do, but still…  
“Dean, this must be difficult for you. So if you want to talk about it, you can.” Cas explained.

“I’m scared man, what if I never feel anything properly again? What if all I feel is darkness and anger? I don't want that.”

“Amara seemed capable of some affection, I’m sure you, having been human will be more than capable of it too,” Cas reassured the man.

“It’s just- I don't want to make you uncomfortable Cas, I don't want you to leave again.” 

“Dean I’m not going to leave you-”

“So why did you?” he slipped out, mentally smacking himself

“I don't know,” Cas lied, “There's just- there are things I can't tell you and I hate keeping secrets from you- I don't want you to hate me.” Cas admitted.

This worried Dean because he knew when Cas hid something from him, it was usually pretty serious, but he didn't want to ruin the moment or argue with the angel, saying;

“Cas, I could never hate you, I trust you and I trust that whatever secrets you have, you’ll tell me when you’re ready- I was so worried, I thought you hated me and what we did and-”  
Cas was worrying about whether the complications and secrets would allow them to have a relationship beyond friendship, with Dean about to become the darkness, it wouldn’t make things any easier for the pair.

“No, Dean, I could never hate you. And what we did, it was... amazing, I don't regret it, but I just don't know if we ca-”  
Dean cut him off abruptly as he leaned over to the passenger seat smashing his lips with Cas’.

“If you don't want this, please tell me now, because I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself, if this is the last day I’ll truly be able to feel like a human, then you’re what I want to feel more than anything.” Dean spoke.

Tears threatened to flood the angel’s eyes.  
Did Dean really care for him that much? Did he really see Cas as more than just a friend?

“Dean, I want you, I really do.” Castiel responded, not sure if the moment was right to confess all.  
“But we can’t, not right now, you have like an hour left, they'll all be wondering about where you are.” He lied, every part of him was screaming out for the hunter but the guilt he felt and Dean's looming task was getting to him.

Dean looked slightly dejected, Cas caught it and rectified it with a kiss.  
Dean pulled back slightly in shock, scanning the angels face for signs of regret, but he saw none- guiding his hand up and he soothingly rubbed Cas's cheekbone, smiling down at him before continuing to kiss him.

Dean knew as long as he had his Angel by his side, everything would be alright.


	56. Now this is Winchester stupid.

Everyone waited uneasily, masking their anxiousness using humour and old stories.

Cas had received a funny look from Michael, Jack and Crowley upon returning and was worried they may have known what happened between Dean and himself.  
Dean walked in not too far behind, way too cheerful for everyone’s liking.

“You’re really happy for someone who's about to hand over their whole existence.” Sam spoke questioningly.

“Because I’m doing this for the right reasons okay, its not all bad, like Crowley said it’ll get rid of Amara meaning one less bad guy, and hopefully through this, I can destroy the bastard who tried to ruin our lives.”

Dean was right, Sam acknowledged it, but it still didn't explain why he was so happy about it.  
He looked over to Castiel hoping he would give something away, but he instead looked nervous, understandably given what was about to take place, but something was up with him as well, he seemed… happier? It all made Sam very suspicious. Had Dean finally plucked up the courage in his final hour to tell the angel the truth? He doubted it, this was Dean, he never gave anything away unless it was already too late.

“How long do you have?” Mary questioned her eldest softly.  
Cas felt guilt seep through him, part of him wanted to tell Dean, but was now the time? He wasn't even sure the foetus would make it, it was commonly known that most nephilim pregnancies had a 75% chance of failure due to the toll it took on the body and the potency of the father, there was no point in ruining a perfectly good friendship over something that wasn't even guaranteed.

“About 15 minutes, you guys fancy a beer?” 

“Sure, I’ll go get them,” Bobby said, disappearing to the kitchen.

“I’ll have juice,” Rowena called out to the old man.

Dean looked around at the worried faces, even Crowley looked somewhat concerned.

“Guys, c’mon, I’m not about to friggin die, why do you all look like you’re sitting around a hospital bed?”

“Because we still don't know if we can trust Amara, she could lie and end everything,” Michael spoke.

“Maybe she’s seeing this as a way to get you to be a part of her forever, remember like she originally wanted?” Sam pointed out; the statement made Cas was visibly uneasy, still weighing out the options.

“Samuel, stop being so dismal, Dean’s a grown man, he knows what he's doing.” Rowena sided with the older brother earning a thankful smile from Dean and a ‘really?’ expression from Sam.

“Besides, i don't wanna be bickering with you guys for the last normal 15 minutes of my life.”

Bobby returned with two six-packs of beers and an orange juice, placing them on the table for everyone to take.  
They all sat there drinking, pretending to ignore the elephant in the room.

"You're really starting to show now aren't you?" Dean said, gesturing to Rowena who looked down at her growing bump slightly self-consciously as everyone's attention turned to her.  
Sam placed a comforting hand on the small of her back, swelling with sudden pride and joy. 

Dean was happy for Sam, though it wasn't as normal as he would've liked, his brother was getting what he had always wanted, a family of his own- Dean felt sad that he wouldn't have that himself, but he had come to terms with it a long time ago.   
"Just how far along are you, because I swear it’s getting bigger by the day." He fooled. 

"Well it was after Cas died, so around 4 and a half months now?"   
Dean shuddered, hit by sudden memories he had buried since Cas had come back to him. He composed himself quickly, smiling at the woman and taking a sip of his drink- he may or may not have been slightly excited at the prospect of spoiling his niece or nephew.   
"Sorry, I forgot how hard that was for you."  
Dean waved her off, despite being hit by memories of darkness.

“Rowena said I get to choose a middle name for it.” Jack spoke happily, snapping Dean from his thoughts.

“Excuse me, I thought I would? Wait… who's the godfather?” Dean interrogated the couple.

“It can have more than one middle name you know.” Sam pointed out “Plus I’m sure you’ll be giving it all sorts of nicknames.” He chuckled.

Everyone stopped still when Amara appeared in front of them. 

"Ah, how, quaint," Amara spoke, looking around at the group in front of her. 

"It seems you've added more to the troupe since the last time. Care to introduce us- who's he?" She added, looking at Jack, feeling his power. 

"Never took you as one for small talk, aunty Amara," Michael spoke up, eyes flashing cerulean. 

"Ah, nephew. I heard about what happened with your father. I'd say it is a shame but I don't care and I could've told you he'd turn on you myself." Amara spoke

"Why are you doing this?" Michael questioned. 

"I told you last time Michael-"

"Yeah yeah, I get it. The only reason I'm still alive is that Dean cares blah blah blah."

"Don't test me, Michael. Your father tried it too, but with you, I won't hesitate."

Dean could see Michael was about to say something snarky that could potentially get him killed and intervened saying,  
"Okay guys, I think that's enough."   
He’d come to care for the angel in an odd way, not just because he was possessing his younger brother, but because of the bond he had with Adam and the way Michael had proven himself and had changed- in many ways as the eldest brother, Dean sympathised with the Archangel.

"Is that Lucifer's son?" She asked, suddenly noticing the energy Jack was giving off. 

"No, he's our son, Jack," Dean said, pointing to Cas, Sam and the rest of the group.   
Jack smiled at the words, feeling as though he truly belonged for the first time since his birth.

"Are you ready?" Amara asked, brushing it off.   
He looked around at the people surrounding him. Savouring the feeling in his heart. 

"As I'll ever be." Dean spoke shakily, rising from his seat, walking towards the entity. 

Dean gave a small smile and nod to his loved ones as he looked around, his gaze lingering on Castiel long enough for his brothers to notice.

Within a moment he disappeared From sight, and no one dared look each other in the eye. 

They all remained silent until Crowley turned to Cas,  
“What exactly happened on that little outing of yours Castiel, you seem... different,” Crowley taunted, eyeing the angel questioningly.

“Nothing, I don't know what you’re talking about.” Cas attempted to cover.

“He has just recently become an Archangel, that's probably just his grace adjusting,” Michael stepped in, noting his younger brother's discomfort.  
Cas flashed him a grateful smile.

Sam eyed the Angel apprehensively, Dean may have had a more profound bond with him, but Sam still knew when something was wrong with Castiel, he just found it harder to get it out of him than Dean did.

"How long did he say it was gonna take again Cas?" He asked instead. 

"A few days I think. It's all going to go down in the empty so Chuck doesn't sense what's going on, otherwise, we’d have another problem on our hands.” Cas reminded them.

“Speaking of Chuck, I’m gonna get back on research,” Bobby said, 

Mary followed him, unsure of what to think of the whole situation “I’ll help.”

John remained, he knew something was going on, he could tell as he looked around at the remaining group.  
“Just how bad is Amara?” 

“Well to put it lightly, we once thought she was worse than Chuck, so…” Sam contextualised.

“Great.”


	57. He's so alpha, isn't he?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry about how bad my updates have been recently, but I'm back now- I was taking some personal time away from everything.  
There are only a few chapters left now, just wanted to say thank you for reading and hopefully, I should be back on my daily updates for this story, I hope you're enjoying it.   
Feedback and comments are greatly appreciated.

“I’ve been waiting for you, darling.” The nasal voice spoke.

“What the hell was that?” Dean questioned.

“Be quiet Dean, you need to do as I say here because not all entities are as inclined to be nice to you as I am,” Amara warned.

“What do you mean? Where, where are we?” Dean questioned,   
He looked around at the void, it was sullen and nothing… then it dawned on him. 

“Are we in the empty?”   
He had remembered Cas’ words when he had come home to him.

“Ah, a bright one we have here, but he's not an Angel or a Demon… he's Human, what is he doing here?” The shadow asked interrupting Dean’s thoughts, manifesting in a liquid black form, “do I know you from somewhere? Hmmm, Yes, that's it. The angel, the one who woke up, you were the weapon I used to torture him.” The shadow formed a grin on its appearance, slowly morphing as Dean observed in horror.

“Hello, Dean.” 

Cas? 

No this wasn't his Cas, this was the Shadow.

Amara could feel Deans rage and gave the hunter a poignant look telling him to keep calm.   
Dean was pissed, but he heeded Amara’s warning.

This is where Cas had been, and he had been tortured by this cosmic entity that had manifested itself as himself. 

Just imagining the horror caused Dean to feel a disturbance within.

Amara approached the entity calmly, the entity morphed back into its liquidated form as she spoke.  
She unquestionably had its interest now.

“This is about Chuck.”

“Where’d she go?”

She can't just leave like that?  
Unless she warded herself against me.  
By why would she do that if she’s leaving, it’s not like I can follow her anyway. 

No something is amiss, this feels wrong, she can't just disappear like that.  
Where the hell had she gone? Chuck sat there contemplating, troubled by his sister’s total vanishing act.

“You have a day and then I want him gone, I’ve waited long enough.”   
Amara nodded her head, Dean had never seen her so submissive, was she scared?

“Amara? Why do you want to be here, you’re clearly scared.” 

“Dean, don't pretend to understand my situation. I would rather be here then live somewhere that is under Chuck’s thumb, this is all there was before Chuck created that, this is what i want.” 

“But without your powers, aren't you just human?”

“You’re an idiot Dean, you think if archangels can regenerate a being like me can't?”

“But that would throw off the balance of the universe.”

“It won’t because I’ll be in here.”

“Yeah, but you’d still be alive, what if he throws you out? The universe…”

“Dean, we are complex beings, far beyond your current comprehension, you may figure it out in time, but for now stop with the questions, if you want to get this done today that is.”

“Are you okay Cas?” Sam looked at the angel who seemed to be wincing slightly.

“Yes I’m fine Sam, I’ll be in my room,” Cas said and got up going towards his room, this only heightened Sam’s suspicions.

“What's wrong?” Michael said following the younger archangel to his room where he doubled over in pain.

“I don't know! Ah!” 

Michael rushed to his side to stop him from collapsing, helping him over to the bed.

“Cas, what's wrong?” 

“I- I don't know, this pain- it’s immense.” He struggled to get out

“Is it the child?” 

“No, I don't think so- AH.” Cas cried out in agony clutching his abdomen, causing Michael to worry more

Sam burst into the room.  
‘Great, just what we need.’ Michael thought

“What's wrong with him A-Michael?” Sam asked, rushing over.

“Sam you should go, I'm handling this.”

“Like hell, I’m leaving, he may be your brother but he's like a brother to me too! If Dean found out I left him alone like this…”  
It then dawned on Michael.

‘Shit, Dean.’ He needed to get Sam out of there or he could expose Cas’ secret.

His eyes flashed azure as he figured out a plan, just then Rowena called for Sam.

“Go, it might be important, I’ll take care of Castiel.” Michael assured a concerned Sam.  
Sam nodded hurriedly leaving.

“What did you do?” Cas questioned suspiciously through gritted teeth, still writhing with discomfort.

“She’s fine, I just made the baby kick.” Michael notified, rolling his eyes.

“Speaking of, I think I know what's wrong with you.”   
Cas looked at him concerned something was wrong with his baby.

“Its Dean, he's undergoing a massive change, like how you did with becoming an archangel, but much worse. Given your guy’s connection and how he felt you becoming an Archangel, it’s possible you're feeling a spectre of his pain.”

“But how is that possible, he's in the empty, there's no way.

“As I said, your child, we don't know what power it possesses, but as Jack got to you in the empty, the child can feel Dean’s agony.” 

“What if it harms the child? What if it dies?”

“It won’t, its much stronger than you think, and before it died it would drink your grace dry just to try and survive, so you’d know if it was dying by your power- It’s connected to Dean much like your soul and that's what's causing such horrific pain, I can try to lessen it, but other than that you just have to suck it up I guess.” 

“Delightful.”


	58. Nothing but Empty.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer one today.
> 
> Warning: things get a little messy. [See: bloody]!!!

“Is he gonna be okay?” Adam questioned his counterpart

“Yes, he’ll be fine- he just needs some rest.” Michael returned

“I take it this means…” Adam started.

“Yeah, she's almost done doing whatever it is she's doing to Dean.”

As if on cue, a large rumbling shook the bunker.  
“It’s done.” Michael confirmed

Sam hurried in a few moments later, everyone joining him one by one.

“What's wrong with feathers?” Crowley asked, genuinely concerned.

“He’s fine, still getting used to the archangel stuff, a few were convinced, Sam and Crowley were not.

Nor was Jack, but Michael caught him before he could say anything,  
‘Don't even think about saying anything, you can ask questions later, now is not the time, nephew.’ Michael spoke to Jack using his grace.  
Jack subtly nodded in response, concerned.

“So that rumbling?” John questioned.

“Dean...” Sam spoke.

“Is either the darkness, or we have a bigger issue on our hands.” Michael finished for him.

“I thought it’d take much longer than that.” John added

“The empty probably wanted it done quicker, which means it would be.” 

"Hey guys," Dean spoke.  
He was clad in a black leather Jacket, dark skinny jeans and a black and grey flannel shirt. 

"Dig the New look?" Dean asked as he saw Sam's reaction to his outfit, who nodded stiffly in response. 

"You're so powerful." Jack spoke astonished. Dean's power matched his, bar a few differences here and there.  
There was an aura of darkness surrounding it making everyone uneasy. 

"That was quick." Michael spoke up analysing Dean.  
Cas was standing further back trying to conceal his secret using his grace, Michael helping him, still feeling the pain in his abdomen, though lighter than before.  
Before Dean could approach him, someone else did. 

"You." 

Chuck looked at Dean angrily. 

Until he felt it, his expression changed to one of curiosity.  
"How interesting." He spoke, observing Castiel. 

"Time to raise a little hell." He spoke, taking a shocked Castiel with him. 

"Castiel!"  
Michael ran up to the spot alongside a now fuming Dean. 

"CAS!"

"Son of a bitch." Dean growled, his anger shaking the bunker. 

"Dean, calm down." Mary spoke up. 

The shaking stopped but Dean's fury did not. 

"Calm down? Calm down? That son of a bitch just took Cas and you're telling me to calm down? He hates me. He knows I care about him and that means he'll probably kill him!"

"He's not gonna kill him." Michael spoke up. 

"How do you know that?"

"Because-" Jack started. 

"Because he wants to use him as a pawn. Now he knows how strong you are, he's scared." Michael covered, briefly glaring at Jack. 

"But he could've used Sam or mom and dad or anyone of you, why Cas?"

"Do I really need to answer that?" Michael rolled his eyes, Sam and Crowley nodding in agreement.

'I know you love him.' Michael spoke in Deans head.  
Dean looked at Michael horrified, feeling like his space had been invaded. He was furious. 

"It doesn't matter. We need to find Cas. He might not kill him but he would definitely hurt him." Dean diverted, "I can't sense him. Can you?"

"No, he's warded him against us." Crowley spoke. 

"We need to figure out where the bastard is."

"Try anywhere in the galaxy." Bobby spoke

"No he's on earth, he's still not at full power so he can't travel without being healed.” Michael added

"You think he'll get Cas to heal him?" John asked

"What no Cas is just an archangel, he can't heal Chuck.” Sam gathered

"I could, so could you or Jack." Michael spoke

"That means Cas could because of the-"

"The new archangel powers, maybe I don't know he's still a little rusty.” Michael interrupted before Jack let out Cas’ secret 

"Yeah and he's not up to full strength right?" Sam spoke

Michael mentally noted that in future discussions he would have to seal everyone's mouth but his own. 

"What do you mean? What does he mean?" Dean demanded.  
His motives weren't led by fear or passion as they usually would've been, instead, he was led by pure unadulterated rage- it made him feel agitated, he could feel the human feeling fading by the minute. 

"It’s like what happened with you when he became an Archangel"

"But i haven't marked him?" Dean was confused. 

‘You did more than brand him.’ Michael inwardly expressed his annoyance.

"Now isn't the time for this discussion. We need to find my brother." Michael was growing frustrated by the questions. He knew he should probably tell Dean but now was not the time and it wasn't his place to tell. 

“Someones been a wanton little angel. Well, I guess archangel now right?” 

“What do you want? If you're gonna kill me just do it, I doubt it'll stick well anyway.” Cas mocked. 

“Oh no, why would I want to kill someone as valuable as you?” 

“What happened to me being pitiful?”

“You appear to have made yourself useful since then.” 

“How so?”

“Do you really think you can hide that from me? Points for trying. Dean's going to be going apeshit looking for you both-”  
Cas scowled. He felt exposed and guilty, but at least now he knew Chuck wouldn't harm him.

“Wait. He doesn't know. This is priceless. Gaining more and more advantages by the second. You really aren't useless after all." Chuck said, giving Cas a patronising tap on the head. 

"Time to raise a little hell, whaddya say?"

Cas took a minute to figure out what he was insinuating.

"You can't, they permanently locked the gates.“  
Cas knew Chuck was bluffing, he was still weak.

“You think that means anything to me?” 

“Dean will come after you. Think of-” he stopped himself short. Maybe he could use this to his advantage. If Chuck tried to do such a thing it would drain his already damaged essence which would take time to recover meaning Dean could overpower him. 

“Think of what?”

“It doesn't matter. You'll just do what you want anyway.” 

“That's what I admire about you Cas, you're a quick learner.”

“Don't go anywhere. Oh, wait you can't.” Chuck smirked, disappearing from sight. 

Cas tried to reach out to Dean or Michael, even Jack, Crowley and Rowena. But Chuck had warded him from being able to do so. 

“Castiel? Can you hear me?” Michael's eyes flashed cerulean

Rowena paused by the door listening. 

"Castiel? Come on. Give me a sign. I need to know you and Your child are safe."

Wait, what? His child? No. What?

"It’s no use Adam, he's warded." Michael spoke, overcome and troubled.

"Castiel is pregnant?"

Michael pulled Rowena into the room, telling her to be quiet. 

“How is that possible?”

“Turns out he and Dean really did get a little busy, seemingly more than we had all expected.”

“Does Dean know?” Rowena asked, too shocked to register properly

“No, only I know, and Jack, and I think Crowley suspects something, but he doesn't know.”

“You need to tell him.”

“No, it’s not my place to say anything, I promised my Cas I would keep his secret.”

“What about Adam? Why can't he say anything, or are you forcing him not to?”

“No, I would never force Adam to do anything! He promised me he would keep quiet, so he is if he wants to tell he can, but I trust him so he won't.“ Michael was genuinely offended that she believed Michael would force Adam to do anything.

He saw the look of contemplation on her face, “Rowena, you saw- felt what happened when he got angry, do you want to risk him flipping his lid right now?”  
Michael was right, Rowena didn't want to lie to him, they had a good bond now that she didn't want to ruin, but she knew deep down she had to keep this quiet.

“Fine!” she said, storming off.

“What the hell is that?” Dean asked

“HELL is the operative word in that sentence.” Crowley responded

“What?”

“Someone, CHUCK, is trying to reopen the gates of Hell.” Michael replied

“No friggin way.” Sam muttered

“Dumb bastard, now we know where he is.”

“Dean, wait, we need a plan.” John said

“Screw plans, I'm gonna end him.”

“Dean!”

It was no use, Dean wasn't listening to reason, he just wanted to get Cas back, without him being hurt and end Chuck once and for all so he could no longer have a hold over anyone's life.

“I don't think so, Chuck.” Dean popped up in front of chuck at the cemetery 

“Oh but I do. What are you gonna do? Fight me?”

“Well since you asked so politely, yes.”

But before Dean could deliver a blow, Chuck summoned Cas causing Dean to stop in his tracks.

“Cas? Are you alright?” Dean’s demeanour softened somewhat.  
Something was unusual about Cas.

“What is that?”

“Oh he really doesn't know, this is priceless.”

“Know about what?”

“Your precious little angel is keeping secrets from you.”  
Cas stood there looking terrified at Dean.

“So? He’s his own being, I trust him, he-”

“He's pregnant, with your child.” Chuck interrupted, chuckling maniacally.

Dean halted, there was no way he misheard that- how was that even conceivable?  
Dean was going to be a father?  
The father of Cas’ child?  
No. 

“Is this meant to be some sort of sick joke?” Dean spat

Cas flinched at his words- 

“Cas? Are you really-?” He spoke, softer in tone.

Cas couldn't bring himself to move, let alone speak, paralysed with fear, not of what Dean had become, but fretting he would loathe him.

“There's no way you can't sense the energy he's giving off- why would I lie about this?”

“I promise you, I will kill you- wait. Did you cause this?” Dean felt sick, or something of that variety.

“What? No. Why the hell would I want this? But now it’s happened. I'm happy to use it to my advantage, why not go and ask your family about what secrets they're keeping, I think that would prove to be very interesting. So maybe I won't reopen Hell, but I can make your life hell by taking your most precious belonging, Cas and well, now, your child too.”

Chuck said, vanishing with Cas before Dean could grab him.

“Who else knew about his secret?” Everyone looked at each other panicking, bar John and Crowley who stood there confused.

Sam thought he was talking about him.

“Look Dean I’m sorry okay, She's in a room I-I thought I’d keep her there until the baby was born and Eileen is in heaven so the angels are taking care of that.”

Dean was utterly confused at this point.

“What?” 

“Jessica, she's in th- you weren't talking about me.”

“No, but carry on, I want to know.” Dean said, his voice, deadly. 

“W-well you know Rowena is pregnant, but so are Jessica and Eileen. Jessica attacked me and, well- Eileen, that happened when I was doing the trials. I'm sor-”

“Save it Sam. Who else knew?”  
No one spoke up.

“Who. Else. KNEW?” 

Mary, Bobby and Rowena came forward.

Dean nodded his head, attempting to control his fury.

All of a sudden a pregnant Jessica appeared in front of them all.

“Thank g-”

“Shut up.”

“Dean! My, its be-”

“I said shut up.”

Dean twisted his hand in the air, as everyone looked on confused until they heard the strangled noises from Jessica’s mouth.

“You think you can hurt my little brother and get away with it?”

Jessica gasped, clinging on for dear life, to no avail.

“I don't think so.”

Sam, worried about his child, tried to speak but Dean had stopped his voice from coming out.

He flicked his wrist causing Jessica's bump to expand and then explode, killing her.

Sam looked on in horror until he heard a baby cry.

"Remind me not to get in his bad books, well more than I already am." Rowena whispered to Crowley, nervous as she felt a twinge in her own abdomen having watched Dean obliterate Jessica.

Dean picked the child up from the bloody mess handing it over to bewildered Sam who took the bloodied bundle from Dean, dazed and startled.

“Who knew about Cas?” he asked calmly, as though nothing had just happened.

Michael and Jack owned up.

Again, Dean nodded his head.

“So. The only person I can trust anymore is the FRIGGIN DEMON KING OF HELL?” He spoke up after a few moments of palpable silence.  
Dean knew he was probably being a little irrational, but right now all he wanted was to get Cas back and end Chuck for even thinking about kidnapping his angel.

HIS APPARENTLY PREGNANT ANGEL.

“I didn't know about any of this.” John spoke up, quietly.  
'I guess we know who tops.' Crowley commented, earning weirded-out looks from everyone. 

Dean nodded, breathing deeply before turning back to his family, summoning the patience to cope with them.

‘My dad and Crowley, the most trustworthy people I know, never thought I’d see the day.’ Dean thought, shaking his head.

As much as he wanted to yell, he knew getting Cas back was more important right now.

“Any ideas where Chuck could’ve taken him?” He breathed out steadily, trying to control the rage that threatened to bubble over.

“I’ve found a few spells that might help.” Rowena addressed.

Dean nodded “Okay, so what are we waiting for then?” 

Once Dean had left with Rowena, John and Crowley to look for the spell the others let out a sigh of relief.

“Is this how it’s going to be from now on, us holding our breath in fear of him flipping a lid? I mean you all saw what he just did to her.” Mary asked

“Not that she didn't have it coming.” Bobby added.

“He’s just being like this because of Castiel. Finding out about him like that would’ve shocked anyone.” Adam reasoned.

“Is the baby okay?” Jack asked Sam.

Sam hadn't registered anything since watching Dean make Jessica explode.

Suddenly the weight in his arms hit him.

This was his child.

A little baby girl.

His little girl.


	59. It's officially none of your damn business, ma'am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not many chapters left now :/

“Just go.”

“Dean.”

“I said. GO.” 

He didn't argue further knowing now was not the time. His brother was still missing so he went to find his nephew to see what could be done about that. 

Dean felt like he couldn't breathe. 

Did he even need to breathe anymore?   
He didn't care, he just wanted Cas back.   
He needed answers. 

After so many weeks of feeling better, he was back at near enough rock bottom once more.  
His head was spinning. 

He could feel feelings of warmth being gradually replaced by rage and nothingness and it was bothering him but at the same time, the bother was becoming less and less. 

“Dean.” John spoke, stepping in, cautiously.

“Yeah?”

“You wanna talk?”

“No.”

“But you should.” 

“I can't.” 

“Why?”

“Because if I do, I’m worried about what will happen.”

“What do you mean, Dean?”  
John stepped closer to Dean.

“I can’t- This anger, this darkness, the emptiness. I can't explain it. I just know it’s dangerous and if I talk about it I’m gonna get angry and I don't wanna hurt you, dad. Other than Crowley, you're the only one I can trust and-”  
He paused trying to keep himself in check.

“Dean, just talk, it might not be as bad as you think.” 

“I just want him back. I can't explain it.”

“You love him. Right?” 

Dean felt his heart stop. He wasn't sure how his dad would react to it, he had always been more ‘traditional’ in his thinking.  
“I-I”

“Dean, just be honest, for yourself. I hope you're not worried about what I'll say, I don't care that he's a guy, i mean if I were to find anything odd it would be that he’s an angel, but you’re the literal darkness now so we’re far away from what anyone would describe as ‘normal’ but regardless, I don't care, even if we were ‘normal’ I wouldn’t care, I just want you to be happy, believe it or not, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”  
Dean never knew how much he had needed to hear those words, but when he did, he couldn’t help but break down.

He gripped his father into a tight hug to which he returned.

He loves Castiel more than he believed he should. Otherwise, why the hell would the bastard be so crucial to his well being? Every time they lost him, Dean went into a downward spiral. It wouldn’t be unbalanced to believe that he just couldn’t live without Castiel…   
That was the only explanation he could find for these feelings, regardless of him being the darkness, he just couldn’t let go.

“I- I just want him back, dad. I can't. I can't lose him. Not again. I know I shouldn’t feel a thing anymore, but I remember every ounce of pain I felt when I lost him and I just don't think I could do that again. This time there would be no coming back for me. I wouldn’t just be losing him, I’d be losing my child too.”  
Dean scoffed inwardly, normally he’d talk to Cas or Adam and even Sam about this stuff, he never thought he’d be able to with his dad.

John sympathised with Dean, he could still, thanks to Michaels intricate memory restoration, remember every bit of grief he had felt with losing mary. 

Wait-  
“Sorry, did you just say your child? Cas is pregnant?”  
John was no stranger to surprises but this was a lot to take in, all in one day. 

“Apparently so.”

“So that's why you got so mad earlier. I was still a little confused about that.”

“Yeah. I had no idea.”

“And now that you know? How do you feel?”

“I don't know. I mean, all I’ve ever wanted was a family, and I don't know. I know I’ve wanted this but, am I even the same me anymore? I- I just I can't think straight, I just need to get Cas back before I can think of anything else.”

“You’ll find him, just like you found Adam and then me, all those years ago. Nothing can stop you from finding the people you love most, i admire that about you. You're strong. I do think, regardless of how mad you are at him, that you should talk to Michael, or if you can't, then talk to Adam. Just remember whatever you’re going through, just because Cas isn't here right now, it doesn't mean you’re alone.” 

“Thank you, dad.”  
John smiled tenderly at his son, clapping him on the back before turning to walk out.

“I could always speed it up myself…” 

“And rinse your power in the meantime, you do know how powerful you have to be to do that? You’re not strong enough.” Cas smirked weakly

“But if I used some of your plentiful grace to do so…”

“You could risk killing the child and rendering your plan useless.”

“Smartass. Shut up.”

Chuck silenced the angel, waving his hand causing him to fall asleep.

I know!

‘Dean, or should I call you little bro now? We’re technically family, y’ know, darkness, light, blah blah blah…’

‘Chuck… you’re not my family, speaking of, you bastard, where are you? What do you want? Where is Cas, is he- are they ok?’

‘Peachy, I have a deal for you.’

‘Why the hell would I make a deal with you, unless you want me to kill you, in which case, I’d happily oblige.’

‘You heal me, and I’ll let you see Cas.’

‘No dice.’

‘Ouch, not feeling the love anymore?’

‘More like I’m not feeling your tricks anymore, you ass.’

‘Well then, it looks like you’ll never see Castiel again, or your unborn child.’

‘I wouldn’t bet on it. I am a Winchester, born to be a thorn in your side, except this particular thorn, if you try too hard to remove it, it could slice you open real nice, and even kill you. Have fun whilst you can chuck. If you so much as harm a hair on Cas’ head, I won’t just kill you, I will destroy you in every way possible.’

Before Chuck could say another word, Dean warded himself against Chuck once more, leaving him angry and frustrated, no closer to solving his predicament.

Dean sighed, overcome. 

Maybe he shouldn't have so hastily declined the offer. That way he could've met with Cas and maybe found a way to injure or better still end Chuck, simultaneously ending most of his problems. 

'Son of a bitch.'  
He threw the bottle hard across the room watching as it hit the wall, finding the way it broke satisfying. 

"Dean."

"Adam."

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Can we, Can we talk? I hate it when you're mad at me."

"I'm not even that mad at you. I'm madder at Michael. I get you were trying to be loyal to him, but what about your loyalty to me Adam? I thought we were doing better. Hell, that doesn't even matter right now. Right now I need to find Cas and- my child."

"Uh, how are you doing with all that?"

'What? Finding out I'm gonna be a dad? With Cas' child? And everyone hid something from me? I - I don't know man." Deans demeanour softened slightly. "I don't know. Nothing makes sense. I know I've always wanted this but with all these changes and secrets. I just want him back so I can think straight again."

'I don't think thinking straight is what you'll be doing.' Adam thought inwardly. 

"But when You found out, I know, the manner wasn't great, but what did you feel?"

"It was the first positive feeling I'd had since becoming this. I felt a sudden burst of something that was good. I think it was contentment, it was incredible. I just-"

"You want him back because nothing feels right."

"Yeah. Yeah, don't get me wrong I'm pissed he hid it from me. I kinda get it but it doesn't make it hurt any less. But I just want him back."

"Yeah. Man. I know you're gonna get him back. I know you're pissed we all hid shit from you but right now our priority is getting Cas back. So I think maybe we should all brainstorm."

"Fine. I'm doing this for Cas."

"Okay, that's fine. But let's go."


	60. Listen to moose, squirrel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To quote Chuck [the ass]: 'Writing is hard.'  
apologies in advance.

"You made the right call." Sam said

"I know." Dean responded

It was tense. 

"Are You sure? I mean what if it could be used as an opportunity to get Cas back?" Jack asked

"What and put him at risk?" Dean half yelled

"Well, actually she's got a point. You're so much stronger than Chuck. You could blink Cas back here and Chuck would be too weak and defenceless to put up a fight and he'd flee." Sam spoke

"Yeah but I wanna end him. Not just make him 'flee' or whatever."

"I know so do we. But this might be a good shot at it."

"Yeah, that's alright for you to say," Dean mumbled. 

"What's that suppose-"

"He's not wrong." Mary spoke, Dean ignored her.

"Well, I was thinking if he targeted hell, he could also target heaven. So I think I should go up there as a defence. With uncle Michael." Jack suggested, changing the subject in hopes to avoid an argument

"What?"

"He's not wrong. That's what Lucifer did, what's stopping Chuck?" Sam said

"Yeah fine. Whatever."  
Michael wasn't comfortable but thought it to be sensible.

"I'm not-"

"You should. In fact, I think I'm gonna go guard hell. Crowley, you coming?"  
Dean cut off Michael, space would be good.

"Dad You hold the fort here. Keep your feelers out."

"Sure son."

"What?"   
Sam was slightly offended, normally he told him to hold the fort or Adam when he was about but...

"Yeah, I need to think clearly, which means I can't be here. I can't afford mistakes not from anyone right now. Keep me posted"

Dean couldn’t feel anything but rage right now, but he wasn't sure he hated it as much as he did at the start and he knew it should’ve worried him, but it didn't.

‘I guess. Truth is, without Cas, I don’t know who I am anymore.’

“Cas.” He prayed he could hear him.  
Dean thought silently as Crowley entered hell to check what was happening.

His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his father.

“Dean. We have a lead.”

As soon as Crowley was back Dean zapped them to the bunker eager to see what they had found.

“Its barely been a week, you sure this is any good?” He said walking in.

“We’ve been working our asses off.” Sam informed.

“Good for you.”

Before Sam could snipe back at the hurtful comment the King stepped in.

“Dean, they are trying here.” Crowley told.

“Thank you.” Sam appreciated Crowley’s back up.

“Whatever, I’m not calling you dad,” Crowley spoke, much to Sam’s relief.

They all gathered around the table whilst Rowena and Michael played with the ingredients.

“Thought you were going to heaven?” Dean said.

“I was there, Jack’s there now, it’s not like it’s permanent, it’s a precaution. I also want to find my little brother before I go back anywhere, I’m sure Jack can handle himself.” Dean simply nodded in response.

Once they found the location everyone began getting ready.

“What are you all doing?” Dean questioned.

“Getting ready to get Cas.” Sam replied.

Dean scoffed.  
“I'm doing this alone.”

“Like hell you are.” Sam responded.

“Don't you have a baby to look after?”

“That's it. I’m sick of this shit. I get you’re mad at me, I know it was wrong to keep that from you. But you, reacting like this is exactly why I did it. And I'm coming to find Cas because he’s my friend too, just because you’re the darkness and you guys have a profound bond and are apparently fucking now, doesn't mean I can't help.”

Dean rolled his eyes “Fine.”  
“But Rowena, Mom and Bobby stay behind.”

“Why?” Bobby spoke up.

“Did you just ask that?” Dean gestured to Rowena’s large bump.

“ok, but why me?” 

“Someone should be here for her and someone to keep the baby.”

“Is this some misogynistic crap?” Rowena asked

“No, its called no one else here other than you guys, me and Dad has really raised a baby before and I need him out there.”  
Mary nodded, taking the child from Sam.

“What is this place?” Sam inquired

“Some bar?” Dean looked around

“Where the hell is ‘here’?” John asked

“His personal bar. He used to come here.” Michael reminisced, irritated.

“Cas?” Dean shouted.

“Dean?”  
The weak voice called out from a booth at the back.

Dean signalled for the others to Check out the rest of the bar to see if they could find Chuck as he made his way in the direction of the voice.

“Cas?”   
Dean hadn’t been this relieved to see the angel since the night he had returned from the empty.

He pulled him close carefully, observing how weak he was.  
“Idiot.”

He embraced him gently, but with great passion, a single tear leaking from his eye as he did so.

“Are you alright?”  
Cas nodded.

“And, the- the baby?” 

“Yes.” 

“I feel much better now you’re here.”

“Ditto buddy.”   
He squeezed Cas in his grip feeling more than he had in weeks.

Michael had witnessed this from the sideline.   
Maybe Dean wasn't as far gone as everyone had thought?  
After this was Dean.   
He and Cas had defied the odds from the moment Cas raised him from hell.  
Maybe all that was missing from him was Cas.

Chuck had sensed them coming and fled the first chance he got before he could unbind Cas they had shown up leaving him with no choice but to flee without the angel, but he had another plan on how to get a hold of his unborn grandchild.

Through his other grandchild.


	61. What, adventures in babysitting the anti-christ? No thank you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry, i had a really busy day today.

‘Jack, it’s me.’

‘What do you want?’

‘Look I know I seem like the bad guy but I’m not’

‘You’re lying’

‘I'm not Jack, Castiel, he's my son, i care about him. I'm worried about him and his child. I noticed he was very weak, and i was trying to give him some of my power to help but I’m quite weak myself. The only people that can heal me are you, dean and Michael. Dean hates me because he thinks i hurt Castiel and Michael thinks i never loved him but it’s not true! No one will listen to my side of the story. But I’m worried that their dislike of me could cost Castiel and worse, his baby, their lives.’

‘Well if they can heal you I’m sure they can help Castiel.’

‘They don't have my power, I am the light, you have a part of my power, as does Michael. But deans is the total opposite, he's the darkness, his powers could cause the baby and Castiel harm.’

‘I don't trust you.’

‘But I think Cas’ life and his child’s life is more important than you not trusting me, right?’

Jack was conflicted.   
Everyone had told him that his grandfather, Chuck was not a good person, he was very bad, worse than Lucifer. 

But what if he was telling the truth about Castiel?   
Jack wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything preventable were to happen to him because he didn't listen. He decided that he would go home the next day to survey the situation for himself, and need to get some advice.

“Man its great to have you back Cas.”

“We were so worried.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“How’s the baby?”

“Are you feeling alright?”

Everyone bombarded the archangel with questions.

“I just need some rest.” Cas responded, slightly overwhelmed, but more nervous about Dean’s apparent lack of worry.  
Did Dean want this baby? Did he even really want him anymore?   
The questions weighed on his mind.

“C’mon I’ll help you.”   
Dean finally picked himself up off the wall where he'd stood silently surveying the angel and put an arm around Cas helping him to his room.

Cas fell asleep not long after Dean had laid him on the bed.   
He had wanted to talk to Cas but was also relieved as he didn't know what to say.  
He was so confused about it all, he knew hed always wanted a family of his own, and he knew that he had loved Cas but, being the darkness had changed him. He didn't really know who he was anymore or what he wanted, everything he'd once felt was now just hollow and he knew Cas and their child deserved better.  
He needed time to think and try to feel before he could talk about it.

Dean felt something resembling concern at this and sat there staring at the angel watching his every breath and twitch, in a state of being anxious and troubled over any potential problems [see: worried], until he heard a light tap on the door.

“Yeah? He's sleeping?” Dean said gruffly to Michael.

“I was here to talk to you actually, I have a few ideas as to where my- chuck could be, and Crowley and I are going to go and check them out so we may be in and out for a while.”

“Oh, okay. Well, let me know if you find the bastard. Uh, stay safe.”

“Oh, thanks and uh Dean, please, go easy on him and take care of him.” 

“Yeah... Yeah. of course.”

Sam was nervous. 

What if he was doing it wrong?  
No, ‘you're fine, stop panicking.’ he reassured himself.  
But what if he was wrong, and he was making mistakes and messed up the kid.  
Worse, what if the child turned out to be evil. He couldn’t kill it. 

‘But Dean would.’

Dean.  
How had things gotten this messy so quickly?  
He thought he would have months to prepare himself, do all necessary research. Get some practice with his and Rowena’s child, but no.  
Instead, he had his baby handed to him because his eldest brother was the darkness and lost his shit because his first love had attacked him in order to make a baby. A Cambion, antichrist. Oh god.

Chuck. Dammit.

Why was everything such a damn mess?

He felt seconds away from imploding from stress and didn't know what to do with himself because he had a supernatural baby he had no idea to take care of and a heavily pregnant girlfriend and an equally pregnant ex-girlfriend who was a ghost living in heaven.

Apparently his brother, who was extremely pissed at him was also about to become a father, with their best friend?  
This was way too much to take in.

“Okay baby, time for a walk.”

‘Shit.’ It hit him. 

I’ve not even named my child.  
He hadn’t even thought of names.  
Jessica had way too many memories attached, including the recent bad ones.

Maybe something like his parents had done with him?

No, that wouldn’t work.

He wanted to ask Dean but he was still mad so he opted for asking his parents.

“Hey, thanks, guys.”

“Everything okay son?” John questioned

“Names.”

“Pardon?”

“Oh I uh, a name for the baby.”

“Oh-oh okay yeah. Um well, you and Dean were named after my parents. And Adam after John’s grandfather.” Mary replied

“So you want me to name her after one of you?”

“No, not unless you want to,”

“I’d suggest naming her after her mother but that would probably be…”

“Yeah, I don't have a clue what to name her.” Sam admitted, he thought he'd have months to decide as Jessica was only 2 months in.

“Millie? After John’s mom?“

“Or Mary after your mother.”

“Marie could be a blend of both”

“Or Melissa or Marissa as a blend of all three.”

“Or Amelia as a derivation for Millie” John suggested

“Or Jennifer, after…” Mary trailed off

Jessica hadn’t always been bad, the Jess he had once loved all those many years ago, that was what he wanted his child to know about, not about who she became, in this way his Jess could still be with their child.

“Jennifer Marie Winchester”

“That's beautiful Sam.”

“Yeah, I love it.” John agreed.

“Thank you, I just hope she grows to be as beautiful in character as her name is.” Sam looked down at the bundle in his arms.


	62. I'm sorry, is that a flirtation?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't even realise I completely forgot to post yesterday- Dean and Cas talk.

Dean sat there mesmerised as he looked at Castiel.

It was like when he had been a knight of hell, but much more amplified and daunting.  
Cas’ grace was bright- it was enthralling, as he focused it had a tint of purple toward his abdomen, that was a part of him.   
Dean couldn’t help being fascinated by the thought.

“Dean?”   
Cas sat up slowly knocking Dean out of his thoughts, wincing as he did so.

“Cas? You okay?” Dean hastily got up out of the chair he’d positioned by the bed and kneeled by the archangel.  
His worry and care for the Angel always betrayed his anger.

“Yeah, a little sore, but I’m fine, how are you?”

“I'm fine. Can I get you anything? Is soreness normal?”

“No, I’m alright.”

“Ok.” Dean didn't really know what to say, the atmosphere was tense and the tension was almost unbearable.

“I’m sorry.”  
Castiel spoke up, unable to fully look the man in the eyes.

“About what?”

“Everything?”

“Again, you wanna specify?”   
There was that bitterness he hoped had faded as he watched Castiel slept.

“Hiding all this from you.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Dean.”

“Cas.”  
Dean wanted to talk but he wasn't sure what to say, and he didn't want to risk losing his temper and frightening the angel either.

“Do you hate me now?” Cas asked apprehensively, still not looking him in the eyes fully.

“Cas,” Dean sighed, “I could never hate you, even if i tried, even when I maybe should have, I can't do it.”

“But you're angry.”

“Yeah, I am, and I’d say that's fair, right?”

“Yes. I believe so.”

“How long have you known?” Dean changed the tender subject.

“Since it happened.”

Memories of the night replayed in Dean mind, leaving him a little hot under the collar.

“That night. That's why you freaked out?”  
Cas nodded.  
“Why didn't you just tell me? We could’ve talked about it.”

“Because I thought you would hate me.”

“Dammit, Cas. I deserved to know.”

“I know Dean, I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, bit late now.”

“I am sorry though still.”

“I know.”  
He just couldn't find it in him to stay angry at the Archangel.

“Do you know what it is?”

“No, Michael's trying to figure it out.”

“How will he be able to determine the gender?”

“Oh the gender, I should be able to tell in about 2 weeks.”

“Oh well, what's Michael trying to figure out then?”

“The species.”

“Oh, right.”

“Well, what now?” Cas asked, concerned.

“You tell me?”

“Do you want me to leave? If it helps I could go to another planet or solar system, whatever you want.”

“What? Why?”

“So you don't have to see us or hear from us again.”

“Are you- what the hell? Why? Why would i want that?”

“Because you’re mad.”

“Cas I’ve been mad before, you didn't leave the solar system then!” This was surprisingly the calmest Dean had been since becoming the darkness, why did Cas persist on testing him so?

“I did consider it, but things are different now.”

“Because you’re pregnant?”

“Yes and you.”

“What about me?”

“You're different.”

“That isn't important!”

“It isn't? Is that why you prayed to me?”

“You could hear that?”

“Yeah, i tried to respond but it didn't work.”

“Ok but i still don't get the big deal, I’ve always prayed to you, for as long as I’ve known you, you know that. What now that I’m the darkness i can't pray to you anymore, is that it?”

“No- that's not- I know that and I appreciate that you pray to me, but it wasn't that you prayed to me, it was what you said.”

“It doesn't matter.”

“It does matter Dean, especially now.” 

“Cas-”

“Dean.”

“Look, I don't know okay. I wish it wasn't this hard. I wish I could feel things like I used to, I’ve tried but I just can't. Like yeah, I was worried looking for you but I don’t know why I just get so angry. I just know that it’s just always been there.. and when things go bad it- it just comes out and I can’t stop it, no matter how, how bad I want to I just can’t stop it…” 

“And becoming the darkness has made it worse.”

“Yeah like up until now everything I’ve felt has just been tinged with anger or emptiness and i hate it, i hate it so much-”

“Have you tried doing any of the things you used to enjoy.”

“Like what? I only did like five things, hunting, driving, eating, having sex and drinking.”  
Cas shifted slightly at the mention of coitus, Dean noted.

“Maybe you should try driving? Have you driven your car since you came back?”

“No, I was too busy looking for my missing angel and child.”

Cas was taken aback, Dean had just called him ‘my angel’, he considered Cas ‘his angel’, the thought flattered him and made him swoon.  
He pretended to brush it off, not wanting to make the man uncomfortable by reading too much into things.  
“So let’s go for a drive unless you’d rather go alone, that is?”

“No, the company would be nice, especially yours, and I'd rather not leave you alone after what happened.”

His temper had settled for the first time in weeks and he wanted to keep it that way, not mentioning Chuck helped.

Cas was right, being out on the road was nice, especially this time of night, no traffic, no other cars, driving baby, with Cas and the open road. 

“You know, I think you were right-”

“AH!” Cas yelled, clutching his abdomen, cutting Dean off mid-sentence.

“Cas! What's wrong?” He pulled up in an empty side road and scooted closer to the angel, placing a hand on his abdomen checking for anything reprehensible.

“It’s- nothing,..I'm fine.” He said through gritted teeth as he doubled over in pain.

“Cas you're in so much pain, that's not nothing.”

“It’s just the cramps.”

“Cramps, is that normal? I don't think that's normal. Rowena doesn't get them.”

“Dean, please- explain- what about our situation… is normal?” 

"True but when did they start."  
"When you went to the empty, i could feel the pain of Amara changing you, it was- let's just say had it not have been for this one," Cas directed at his abdomen, "I'm not sure I'd have made it through the pain."

The thought made Dean shift uncomfortably as it brought back memories of losing Cas, but this time with the added worry of losing his own child.  
"Like when you got turned into an archangel and i could feel it?"

"Yeah, but probably much worse."

"But I was in the empty nothing that happens in it is usually detectable outside-"

"When does anything stop a Winchester."

“Fair point, but still. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Let’s see what doctor Google says.”

“It’s fine, they’ll pass soon enough." Cas tried to brush off as he winced.

“Cas I’m not just gonna sit here and watch you in pain.”

“Fine- ah!”

Dean scrolled through his phone repeatedly finding the same answer. 

“What?” Cas asked when Dean began looking flustered.

“Nothing, let’s just go home so you can rest.”

“Okay.”


	63. Last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get steamy in the car...

Cas was in agony.

“Okay let me help you take your belt off at least.”

“Ok-ay.”

Dean leaned over the angel accidentally pressing his whole body into the angel.  
Cas’ pained cries turned into soft whimpers at the touch.

‘Damn you Google.’ Dean cursed the search engine for being right, even in their extraordinary case.

He looked at the angel, still draping over him.  
Cas looked up at him, desire evident in his eyes. 

Dean couldn't help it as he gave in, Cas was too alluring. 

Dean hovered over the angel, pulling off his Trench Coat and blazer simultaneously as he kissed him passionately.

Dean removed Cas’ tie and unbuttoned his shirt, beholding the sight of the shirtless angel, ‘perfect’, Dean hummed and traced Cas’ collarbone with his finger before moving it over and rubbing Cas's left nipple. Cas let out a quiet whimper at the touch. Dean watched as Cas seemed to crumble, rubbing it in between his finger and thumb, lightly pinching it.  
Cas let out a louder whimper and leaned into it, his body was experiencing changes which made him delicate to certain taction.

Dean murmured, "you're so sensitive, it's beautiful."

Cas bit his lip, feeling hot as he leaned back on the car seat.  
Dean moved so that Cas's knees were on either side of Dean's waist.

Cas looked up at Dean's eyes, completely perplexed about what was going on between them.  
Cas felt chills up and down his spine and Dean kissed up Cas's chest and even kissed up the side of Cas's neck, letting his teeth scrape along the soft skin there.

Cas moaned, "Dean.."  
Dean looked up to Cas, who was practically begging for him to do something, "you're gorgeous, Cas."  
Cas whined and grabbed ahold of Dean's short hair and pushed his lips toward his neck. Dean sucked on Cas's collarbone, sure to leave a mark before licking over the patch of skin.

Cas was a mess. He grabbed Dean's hair again and pulled him up to eye level.

Dean's emerald eyes were dark but somehow soft,  
"Is this okay?" he asked, Cas purred and pulled him closer.  
Their lips brushed and all of the blood in Dean's body went to his lower region and as the kiss deepened, Dean's hands went to Cas's waist and pulled him closer, groaning into the kiss.

Cas felt shivers go through him as the hunter brushed a hand over his abdomen, Dean found it intriguing, not knowing what Cas was hiding in there.  
Dean hummed, "I missed you so much Cas" Cas pulled back looking at the hunter with so much love. 

Cas bit his lip, looking at the hunter. He looked sinful, his eyes were darker than usual, filled with want and lust his lips were flushed and his skin was lightly dusted with sweat. Beautiful.  
Cas grinned and sat up, straddling Dean's thighs, scooting back as he kissed down Dean's neck and chest.

Cas dragged his tongue down the middle of Dean's stomach, unbuttoning his pants, "I wanna taste you."  
Dean groaned and Cas unzipped Dean’s jeans, Dean helping so that Cas was able to pull them off completely. He felt as if he was pulled towards Dean's gorgeous lips, straddling the  
hunter's huge bulge in his boxers. 

Dean involuntarily bucked his hips up, making Cas whine. "I can't wait to feel you in me, Dean." 

Dean bit his lip, chuckling. "For someone who's so awkward when it comes to human sensations, who have thought that you'd be so hot in bed?" Cas laughed and kissed him.

Dean groaned and playfully bit Cas's bottom lip and Cas ground his hips down once more before he moved down and grabbed the waistband of Dean's black boxers, pulling them down as Dean lifted his hips and Cas through them.  
When Cas looked at Dean's hard cock, he moved his hand to his own length and palmed himself through his boxers, humming.

Cas bit his lip, putting his hand on Dean's chest, moving it down all the way until it wrapped around Dean, "fuck, you're so big." Dean took a sharp intake of breath, right as Cas thumbed over the slit, precum oozing out at the action.

Cas bent over and licked it away and Dean let out a moan, "you're so hard,"

Dean groaned when Cas sunk his head down, taking almost all of Dean's length into his mouth at once, "fuck, Cas- for you."  
Cas started bobbing his head and moaning around Dean's length, strangely loving how he felt with it in his mouth.

Dean was watching as Cas took his length down his throat so quickly that it was insane. Dean was such a wreck and this was too good.

Cas pulled off to say, "Dean I want you to let go down my throat. I want to taste you."

Dean moaned and Cas took his tip into his mouth, licking it repeatedly, leaving Dean panting, "I'm- Cas I'm so close."  
Cas hummed and pulled back and looked up at him as he sunk down until he was deep throating, bobbing his head slowly and humming.

Dean practically yelled Cas's name as he came down Cas's throat, causing the raven-haired angel to pull off, not even able to swallow the entire load.  
Cas angled up and took off his boxers, his length incredibly hard.

"Cas- shit."

Cas sat back on the passenger side sitting against the door that was straight across from Dean and brought three fingers up to his mouth and set them on his lips.

Dean bit his lips as he observed, "want me to?"

Cas shook his head, "just want you to watch." Cas had no idea where this was coming from, he just knew he loved the feeling Dean gave him and he wanted to give Dean the same pleasure.

Cas didn't know it was possible to feel things so extremely, almost like a human, yet he was such a powerful celestial being.

Dean grumbled, still coming down from his high.  
Cas brought his fingers into his mouth, traces of Dean still on his tongue as he sucked on his fingers.

Dean watched intently as Cas took a deep breath, lowering his hand and circling a finger around his entrance. he pushed one finger in, moving it in and out until he added another, scissoring himself open, going farther and hitting a sweet spot, making himself moan out and Dean bit his lip as his length hardened, "you look so good Cas."  
Cas moaned as he opened up, slipping a third finger, moaning loudly and feeling his whole being shake with pleasure as Dean spoke to him.

Cas reluctantly pulled his fingers out, the sound of his heavy breathing evident. "I wanna ride you, Dean."  
Dean hummed and stroked his length for a moment as Cas moved over and got on his knees, still straddling him.

Dean moved his head up so that he could capture Cas into a heated kiss. Cas whined and whispered against Dean's lips, "I need you inside of me, now."

Dean approved, "of course." 

Cas kissed him again, "please."

Dean nodded and grabbed a hold of his own length, pressing it against Cas's entrance and then facing him, wanting to see Cas's expression as he sank down onto Dean.

Cas threw his head back and moaned, adjusting to the stretch. He relished every second of it.

"you're so fucking- ah- tight, Cas."

Cas whimpered and sat to adjust when Dean was completely inside of him, "you feel so good- shit you're huge."

Dean moaned as Cas slowly rose up and dropped back down, he loved the profanity leaving the archangels mouth.  
Cas brought his hands up to run down the sides of Dean's face, kissing him quickly as he slowed down his movements.  
Cas rolled his hips slowly and Dean thrusted his hips and hit Cas's prostrate right on, causing both of them to scream out and Dean's hands collapsed on the side for something to grasp and he ending up pounding the steering wheel, causing it to go off, startling the pair, making Dean rut up further into Cas who emitted a lusty moan.

Dean snickered and Cas blushed, moving his own hand on Dean's chest.  
Cas moved forward, laying on Dean's chest as he rode him, his hips bouncing as Dean's hands went to Cas's ass, sliding up to his middle back. Cas kissed Dean, moaning against his lips and he moved his hands up to Dean's neck, causing chills to spread down Dean's back.

"you feel so good, Cas."

Cas sat up, speeding up his movements, Dean grabbing his hips.  
Cas was moaning and craving more of the hunter, "mm- I'm close. fuck- can you just fuck me into the seat? I want it harder, it feels too good."  
Dean groaned and rubbed Cas's hipbones, making the angel shudder, humming in agreement before kissing him quickly.  
Cas slowly pulled off of Dean, whimpering at the loss of contact.  
Cas laid down on his back. Dean rolled on top of him, planting kisses all over his neck, sucking a deep mark under his jawline, and then moving down to suck on a part of Cas’ abdomen that drove the Angel crazy. He was so sensitive to every touch due to the being he was carrying.

Cas whimpered and muttered Dean's name as a plea to continue, it had done more than just help with the pain.

Dean hummed and kissed all over, and then moved his head down and licked at Cas's entrance several times, who just moaned.  
The slick Cas produced fascinated Dean, as he tantalised Cas’ entrance with a finger, and his tongue, it tasted sweet.  
Dean pulled back and moved forward, kissing Cas's lips hungrily, the Archangel could taste himself in the hunter’s mouth.

"Dean- please."  
Dean nodded and lined himself up with Cas's entrance. Slowly, his cock disappeared into Cas's heat, causing Cas to moan loudly.  
Dean pulled out and thrusted back in, "Dean." Cas breathed out

Dean bit at Cas's lip, soaking in the sounds that slipped from the Archangel's pretty lips.  
The hunter thrusted in much harder, hitting Cas's sweet spot. Cas screamed out and Dean repeated his actions, causing Cas to wrap his legs around Dean's middle, trying to pull him closer as he heard Dean's low moans in his ear.

"fuck Cas, so tight."

Cas somehow managed to flush darker and Dean slowed his movements dramatically, but every time he was close to Cas's sweet spot he would snap his hips forward.  
The Angel was sweating and Dean was panting as he went deeper.  
Dean thrusted forward as hard as he could and Cas screamed Dean's name and threw his hands down as Dean repeated the movement, Cas moved his hands up and scraped down Dean's back as he moaned.

"c-close."

Dean grunted in agreement, kissing at Cas's neck before playfully biting it.  
Cas grinned and Dean slowed down before whispering in Cas's ear, "come for me. I wanna hear you lose it just from my cock."

Cas whined and Dean sped up and thrusted deeply over and over again, causing Cas to scream before releasing it in between their stomachs, untouched.  
Dean moaned at the sound of the angel, speeding up as Cas's high continued and he started to come down from it, still whimpering as Dean trusted.

Dean groaned, "say something. your voice is- just talk to me."

"Dean, you're so hot. Fill me up, now. I want to feel it in my ass for hours."  
Dean moaned and groaned as he slowed down- hearing Cas talk dirty was like heaven to his ears, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he was sent over the edge by one of Cas's whimpers in his ear.

As Dean let go inside of him, Cas felt his entire being shake from the sheer intensity of it. 

Dean moved to kiss him once again lazily, slowly pulling out.  
Cas winced at the emptiness, feeling Dean's load slowly slip out of his entrance.

That's Dean realised. Maybe they had found the answer to both their problems...


	64. You know who does that? Crazy people!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> started working on a new book as this one will be ending soon 
> 
> Marie pronounced [Ma-ree]
> 
> Elena pronounced [El-ae-na]

“Hey, Castiel...” Jack appeared before Dean and Cas, a very nude Dean and Cas.

“Oh hi Dean... “ Jack added timidly, “Why are you guys naked?”   
Dean both annoyed and abashed, scrambled to pull the covers over the both of them until he realised he could just will for their clothes to be on and did so. There went his plans for a hot shower with Cas.

“Are you still mad?” Jack asked when Dean didn't respond.  
Dean waved him off, more annoyed at the fact he was disturbed than he was at Jack for hiding secrets at this point in time.

“Jack, you're back early?” Cas spoke after gathering himself.

“Yeah, I had news from heaven. Eileen had the baby, its a girl.”

“Wow, that's quick,” Dean spoke, another niece, speaking of nieces he needed to go and see Sam.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go tell Sam,” Jack announced

“No, I’ll do it.” Dean insisted, kill two birds with one stone.

“Alright, I wanted to speak to Castiel anyway.” He needed advice about Chuck, he'd become rather... tenacious.

“Sure.” 

“Dean.” Sam swallowed apprehensively as he opened the door with his free hand, the other occupied with baby Jennifer.

“Can I come in?” Dean asked.

“Y-yeah.” Sam replied, letting Dean pass, closing the door behind him, still shocked his brother had approached him given it was only 3 days ago he nearly bit his head off.

“This looks cosier than I remember.” Dean spoke, trying his best to put aside any resentment towards his youngest brother.  
Since becoming the darkness, things like that had become increasingly difficult, the only time the anger and emptiness seemed to let up was when he was with Cas.

“Yeah, Rowena’s been adding her touch,” Sam replied.

“Where is she, she doing ok?” Dean questioned, running his hand along the edge of the spacious crib.

“Yeah, yeah, bigger by the day but she’s good, just a little over 3 months to go.” 

“Wow, that flew by.” 

“Yeah.” Sam looked down at Jennifer, preoccupied with her babbling.

Dean looked at the baby, considering for a moment.  
That was his niece, regardless of who, or what the mother was, she was so innocent, so tiny. He was smitten. He knew she would turn out good, after all, she was Sam’s kid, and bigger than that, she was a Winchester.  
“Uh, can, can I hold her?” Dean asked.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course.” Sam was confused but happy that his brother wasn't trying to harm the kid and was seemingly in a better mood, Cas seemed to have that effect, human or the darkness, when Dean was mad, Cas was the counteractant. Even with Jack, Cas was the reason Dean stopped being so hard on the kid.

“Shit, she's so tiny, I feel like I’m gonna break her,” Dean spoke grinning down at the baby in his arms.

“Yeah I felt like that too, it takes a little getting used to, after manhandling monsters for so long you forget how to be gentle at times.”

“Yeah…” Suddenly Dean was hit with a sudden fear about his own impending fatherhood and sighed loudly.

“You okay?” Sam questioned.

“Yeah, I’m, I’m fine just. A lot. You know, these last 3 weeks have been a lot to take in. I mean finding out about Cas like that,” Dean gritted his teeth at the thought of chuck as he felt a slight anger bubble up, “Then finding out about you and this and…. After becoming the darkness. It was just a lot. “

“Yeah, man. I had no idea about Cas, but I’m sorry chuck ruined that for you.” Dean flinched at his name, trying to keep calm.

“I mean he ruined like 95% of my life but, yeah me too. Speaking of, we need to discuss a plan but uh first, I have news for you.”

“Yeah, what is it? Cas?”

“No, Eileen, Jack popped in this morning, she gave birth to a little baby girl.”

“Wow, that's- wow, uh quick, but amazing. Shit, name, I barely even managed to think of one for her let alone…” Sam felt a mix of joy and panic at the news.

“Oh, you named her, what's her name?” Dean asked a little irked he’d missed out but he understood why.

“Jennifer Marie Winchester, Jennifer as a tribute to my Jess, before the demon took over. Marie as a blend of Millie; Dad's mom and Mary and then obviously she's a Winchester.”

“That's great man, I do prefer Marie, but Jennifer is nice too.” Dean added, “Eileen might have an Idea, maybe ask Jack, but Maybe Elena, as a tribute to Eileen?”

“Elena, I like that.”

Dean grinned, “so how is that gonna work with Eileen anyway?” he questioned.

“Well Cas told me that because she's a living being, she has to live with me here but she can see Eileen like once a month or something, but Eileen gets to keep her for this first month for nurturing purposes.” 

“Sounds complicated.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Sam spoke, “You uh, you seem, lighter? Happier? I can't quite tell anymore.” he added.

“Uh, yeah, I guess this is the most like ‘me’ I’ve felt in weeks.”  
Being with Cas, generally, but also intimately had helped a lot with him letting up with his anger. When Cas was around he could see past the rage and void, he could see hope and light that shone through Cas and also his child.

“Since you…”

“Ya.”

"Look I'm sorry Dean. I'm sorry I kept all this from you but we can't carry on like this. I hate It, I'm maxed out myself, it was a surprise to me too and I was gonna tell you but things got in the way and then you became the darkness and I just freaked out." Sam blurted out, feeling a little better after doing so.

"Yeah I agree, we need to move past this, we have bigger fish to fry.” Dean couldn't be bothered holding a grudge.

“Right, what's the plan?”

“It’s heavy and if you don't wanna take it on, but I can't think of anyone better for the job than you.”

“Me? Dude, you’re the darkness, you can do whatever.”

“I know but I can be the darkness and the light at once can I?”

“Yeah.” It took sam a moment to realise what Dean was insinuating, “wait, you mean?”

“Yeah…”

“You want me to become the Light?”  
Sam panicked for a moment, what would this mean for his new family? 

“Only if you want it or if you think you can take that on, if not-”

“What you destroy yourself, hell no, I have kids, but you have one on the way too, no way I’d let you do that.”  
The whole family could live together forever, no more dying, no more pain, they could fix Chuck's mess.

“Okay, but are you sure you could handle it?” Dean was concerned about Sam's mental state, he knew sam had been struggling before it all kicked off.

“I'm doing better, but I guess we’ll find out, but how are we even gonna go about this?” Sam spoke

“I’d use the process Amara used on me, but on you and chuck instead.”

“Yeah but wouldn’t Chuck have to do it, there's no way he would.”

“Don't worry about Chuck, worry about preparing yourself, its gonna be a lot to take on.”

“How long has this been going on?” Dean asked concerned about both Jack and Cas

“The first time was before he took Cas, then he stopped, but it’s been more frequent since Cas came back.” Jack informed Dean on Cas' instruction.

“And you didn't think that should’ve been your opener?” Dean replied, slightly agitatedly.

“Sorry, Dean.” Dean sighed heavily but relaxed slightly when Cas placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

“This is good,” Cas spoke.

“Good?” Good? How is this good Cas?” Dean spoke exasperatedly, the thought of Chuck causing his temper to rise.

“Because then we would have Chuck in our grasp.” Cas replied

“You wanna use Jack as bait?” Bobby spoke

“He wouldn’t hurt Jack.” Dean appended

“If i recall correctly he did kill Jack.” Crowley addressed.

“Yes but this time he needs him, but what he won’t know is we’re all gonna be there.”

“We are?” Adam asked, surprised, considering last time Dean had insisting on being alone.

“If you want, but Sam and I will be.”

“You will?” Rowena gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah, we have a few things we need to talk about if you’ll excuse us.” Sam said, leading Rowena to their room.

“Well then?” Rowena questioned.

“I'm going to become the light.” Sam announced, nervously waiting for her to blow up at him.

“Okay.”

“What? Just okay?”

“Sam, darling, living with you and especially your eldest brother, I’ve become rather desensitised to earth-shattering revelations, just please, don't change too much.” she smiled at him lovingly caressing his face, a hint of concern visible in her eyes.

“I love you.” Sam spoke, beaming at the woman, for the first time he felt he was making the right decision, especially if it meant he got to live the rest of forever with her.

“I know.”

Sam leaned down to kiss her gently, “You should rest.” 

“But I’m not tired.”

“Yes but you do have a baby inside of you, so rest.”

“Fine! Your wish is my command- unless I don't wanna do it. Then I won’t.” Rowena winked, sauntering off ignoring Sam’s request.

“That's not rest!” Sam called.

“Well observed, Samuel.” She articulated, going to get some tea before she actually heeded his advice.


	65. Touches me right where my bathing suit goes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get heated mid-chapter but it's only short.

‘I hope this isn't a trick, I haven’t told anyone, I think they’d be mad if I did.’

‘No, no that's good, I’d rather this stayed between us so no one can interfere and it’s not a trick, we’re just gonna talk.’

‘When and where?’

‘In three weeks, at the waterfall.’

‘Ok, but why that long?’

“Believe me, it’s necessary. Especially if you wait 3 weeks, they won’t even notice.’

‘Ok.’

“Perfect gives us some time to plan.” Dean spoke  
Three weeks and they could finally end the scoundrel for good.

"It’s odd, why would he wait so long?." Sam regarded

"I don't trust it.” Michael added

“That makes all of us.” John added

“Why does he think we wouldn’t notice in three weeks?” Crowley wondered  
What was so significant that would be happening in three weeks?

“Probably has some shit planned.” Dean replied- he had no doubt about that.

“But we’re warded?” Jack said

“He may not be able to directly affect us but it won’t stop him from causing chaos to distract us.” Cas responded

“You're really starting to show now huh?” Dean said to Cas, an exhausted-looking Cas as he walked into his room.

“It has been 3 months now.”   
Cas informed, rubbing the swell on his abdomen to try and soothe the discomfort.

“Does it last 9 months like normal pregnancies?”   
Dean remarked in his head that he was much larger than Rowena was at 3 months, maybe it worked differently for angels?

“I’m not sure, Michael believes it may grow at a faster rate because I’m an archangel.”

“Wow, so we should start preparing then huh?”  
They had so much to prepare.

“Yeah.” 

“Do you know what gender it is?”

“Yes, would you like to know?”

“I- uh, I dunno, do I?” Dean wondered aloud.

“It depends on what you want.”

“No, I don't care what it is, as long as its all good y’know.”

“So… you don't want to know?”

“Yeah, I don't. I’ll just decorate neutrally. Plus it’d be nice to have a good surprise for once.”   
Cas smiled at Dean referring to their child as a ‘good surprise’, the smile turning into a wince at the sharp pain that struck him.

Dean rushed over to his side, “You okay Cas? What's the matter? Is the baby ok?” Dean hurled questions at the archangel.

“I don't know, I'm experiencing some discomfort, the baby is fine- you know you still worry as you did as a human.” Cas remarked.

“Huh, I do. But-” Dean realised, he only worried or even felt strong emotions when he was with Castiel.

“It kicked.” Dean said, astonished as Cas placed Deans hand over the abdomen

“Already a trouble maker huh?” Dean remarked beaming up at Cas, it was magical.

“Dean.” Cas said through gritted teeth.

“What's wrong?”

“Dean.”

“What do you need?”

“You.”

“Whatever you need, sunshine,” Dean said more than happy to oblige as he leaned up to capture him in a breathtaking kiss.  
Dean reached to remove his trenchcoat when Cas, suddenly got a bit shy about undressing.

Dean helped him take off his clothes while reassuring the archangel, “Cas—I’ve seen it already. I know all about the changes your body goes through. And you still look so beautiful to me.”  
Cas blushed slightly at Dean calling him beautiful, had he really meant that?  
He didn’t just say that to put Cas at ease, he really meant it, everything about Cas was mesmerising to him, it had been from the moment he’d laid eyes on him. 

He couldn’t keep his hands away from Cas’ belly, slipping underneath Cas’ shirt and caressing his bump.  
It was even better once he had gotten rid of the rest of the Angel’s clothes and could dissipate the awe-inspiring sight of pregnant Cas.  
The Angel climbed onto the bed and spread for him, his sore heavy stomach, hanging beneath him.   
He wanted Cas to be as comfortable as possible, ignoring his wanton desires, instead, he climbed on the bed, too, and turned Cas onto his side.

After all, he had to be careful, that was his child in there.   
Cas hadn’t been kidding when he had mentioned how bad he needed Dean. Slick was basically pouring out of him, and Dean’s fingers slid into his hole with ease.  
“Dean,” Cas moaned. “I need you.”

“I can see that.” Dean rumbled, smirking, yielding to confusing urges that made him want to fuck Cas slow and tenderly and massage Cas’ pecks that weren’t as flat as they had been previously.   
He slid into Cas gradually, being unable to help himself as he nosed along his neck, searching out and then playfully mouthing along Cas’ sensitive spot.  
He went slow and deep rather than pounding into him hard and fast, and his cock occasionally brushed up against Cas’ prostate causing him to gasp loudly.  
Dean reached for Cas’ rock-hard cock and gave it a few tugs, but he just couldn’t keep his hands away from his belly for too long and went back to stroking and caressing it.

Cas and his swell was the best philtre, leaving Dean all fired up.   
Still, he controlled himself and moved into Cas at an almost leisurely pace while leaving small love bites all around Cas’ neck.  
When Cas cried his name, Dean grazed against the archangel’s cock again, and Cas just lost it, letting go and concurrently clasping down on Dean’s cock, whining out his pleasure.

Dean gave a throaty groan and released his own load deep inside Cas, again causing Cas to shake completely.

He continued caressing the bump in order to soothe Cas as he gently rode out the last of his high.  
As he went to pull out he felt something wrap around his body stopping him.

“You okay?” He asked as he stopped, mesmerised by the sight of Cas’ gleaming purplish wings.

“Feels nice, don't move.” Cas pleaded.

“Whatever you need, angel.” Dean said, caressing the bump.

“Dean, you alright?” Adam asked as Dean approached him.

“Yeah, you?”   
His anger at the man had since worn away, spending time with Cas had been almost like a reset button.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“How’s Michael?” He had questions.

“I'm well, thanks,” Michael responded, eyes flitting azure.

“Super,”

“Did you need something?” Dean didn't ask for him without cause typically.

“Yeah, I uh, wanted to thank you, for everything you’ve been doing for Cas, it means a lot to him, and to me.”

Michael was taken aback by the thanks, but grateful for the appreciation.  
“Of course, no worries Dean, he is my little brother after all.”

“Yeah, yeah. How is he doing, like i know he says he's okay, but what do you think?”  
Deans protective instincts were on overdrive, he was scared of losing Cas even when it was just him, but now it was Cas and his child, he wouldn't stand for it.

“I think emotionally, he's ok, a little stressed due to the situation but he's adjusted well, physically is hard to say, this is different from any pregnancy ever. He appears to be doing well, but really only time will tell. It will probably be sooner than later.” Michael inferred

“How soon?”

“A matter of weeks perhaps.”

“Woah, uh- thanks doc, remind me after this is done I have a gift for you.”  
Dean fretted lightly, attempting to form a plan.

“Thanks, Dean but there's nothing material I could possibly need.”

“So you think, we’ll see.” Dean remarked leaving, he still remembered some of their conversations, perhaps not for his ears, but important nonetheless.

‘Just one more week until we kill that bastard for good.’  
Dean thought as he went to plot further.


	66. The end is freakin' nigh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry I've not uploaded so far this week, been feeling like hammered crap.

“It’s not happening!” Dean declared.

“De-” Cas was cut off by an irate Dean. 

“Perfect timing for the temper to come back.” Crowley whispered to Adam, who nodded in agreement, that would be useful. 

“You heard me.”Dean responded to Cas. 

“But-”

“I'm not hearing it! You aren't coming and that's final.” Dean affirmed.  
There was no way he was about to risk losing Cas again, especially not now with the added risk of losing his child too. 

“This is ridiculous!” Rowena insisted, she was only 6 months gone, she wasn't weak. 

“Call it whatever, I’m not risking you, either of you, plus, as I said, you’ll have company.” Dean asserted.

“You gonna be okay with her?” Sam asked his parents as he handed Jennifer over to John. 

“This one we’ll be fine with” Bobby responded smiling at the baby, “that one, I’m not so sure about,” he gestured towards the fiery red-headed witch causing Sam to smirk, he knew she could be a handful at the best of times, the added pregnancy hormones only made it more difficult. 

“Don't worry, she should be okay.” Sam chuckled lightly, turning to smile warmly at the witch until she shrieked. 

“NO, SHE'S BLOODY NOT!”   
Sam noted there was liquid on the floor around her feet. 

“What? What's wrong are you okay.” Sam hastened to her side.

“Ah friggin great! Perfect timing!” Dean spoke.

“What?” Sam was still confused, Dean was not helping. 

“The baby! It’s coming!” She cried.  
Why was he so dense sometimes?

“Oh.” Sam said, slightly dazed until the reality of the situation hit him, “OH!”

“This must've been what he meant by we’d be busy in three weeks then huh?” Michael remarked.

"Is she ok?" Sam asked Michael.

"What am I the Archangel of midwifery or something?" Michael grumbled as he pressed two digits on her forehead, his eyes flashing Azure after indicating Adam had the mic.   
"She's fine, baby's fine, it's a little premature but its vitals are healthy. 93% guaranteed success rate for this birth." 

"You know how to check vitals?"

"An Archangel is wearing me dumbass, and remember I did pre-med?" Adam spoke

"Oh. Yeah." Sam spoke

"Okay, enough Doctor Angel. Now what?" Dean spoke. 

“You guys should still go.” Sam spoke amidst his panic.

“Are you sure?” Dean asked, glad of his brother’s suggestion

“Yeah take Crowley, Jack and Michael, the rest of us can handle this.”

"Crowley, you sure you don't wanna stay?"

"No, it’s bad enough I was there for my own birth. I don't need to witness this."  
Dean smirked at the comment. His demonic humour was priceless. 

"What if you need… ‘Primordial’ or Celestial assistance?” Dean asked. 

“I'm right here y’know.” stated a pissed off Castiel.

“Ah, yeah, okay.”  
Dean knew he had been a little hard on the angel but he didn't want Cas to overexert himself, it wasn't just him to worry about now. 

“Good luck.” Crowley said, throwing his agonising mother a pointed look. 

"Take it easy please." Dean said worriedly to Castiel.   
Cas rolled his eyes. Even though he was unbearably stubborn, Dean was everything to Cas. Chuck was weak but it didn't mean he was any less deceitful. His frustration at the being didn't lessen his concern for Dean either.

"Be careful Dean."

Dean smiled warmly at the angel. 

"Okay let’s do this." Dean spoke to the other three. 

"Jack. Thank you for coming. No one knows you're here right?" Chuck glanced around nervously. 

"No, we uh had an unexpected event." Jack told. 

"Oh, all good I hope." 

"Rowena giving birth."

"Oh wow. Good. Good."   
He was thankful for the distraction. He hadn't known what it would be, as they were warded he didn't know much about what was going on he just knew it was big. 

"Yeah, so everyone's busy with that." Jack tried to convince Chuck. 

"No doubt."

“How’d you do that?”

“Do what?”

“I can't read your mind.”

“Why do you need to read my mind?” Jack felt shifty all of a sudden if Chuck managed to get past the warding everyone was in trouble. 

“I don't know if you’re lying to me.”

“I don't know if you’re lying to me either.” Jack returned. 

“Fair, but how did you do that.”

Excuse. Think Jack, think.  
“Billie!”

“What?”

“Yeah, she warded us against, uh, you, after you killed me.”  
It wasn't entirely a lie. Originally she had warded him but for some reason, Chuck was still able to get in his head, it was Dean this time round who made it stronger. 

“Ah, um, understandable I guess.” 

Awkward. 

“So, what did you want?”

"I wanted to see you. After all, you are my grandson. The son of my most precious child."  
Lucifer. Chuck saddened at the thought of his lost son. 

Jack, however, didn't and cut right to the chase questioning, "I thought this was about Cas?"

"Y-yeah, of course. Of course, but I'd also like to get to know you better. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, what with me killing you and everything."

"Ya don't say." Jack mumbled, staring at the being, emotionless. 

"Yeah. So what do you say, Jack? You wanna spend some quality time. Get to know each other a little."

"If You answer some questions first, I'll consider it."

"Uh, sure. Yeah."

"You ready?" Dean asked the pair. 

"Yeah." Michael replied voice slightly shaky, which was unusual for the Archangel.

"You sure?" Dean asked Michael pointedly, he knew how much Michael had once cared for his father and wanted to make sure he was okay.

"C'mon he's not a baby." Crowley spoke, rolling his eyes. 

"Right let's go."

Jack put his hand on Chuck's shoulder, feigning affection. 

'Sucker' Chuck thought, about to make his move.   
Until he realised he couldn't move.  
"Uh Jack, why can't I move?" 

"Because we don't want you to."

"We? Wha-"

"Hey there Chuck."

"Shit"

"Dean! What a lovely surprise."  
"I'm gonna kill you" He whispered to Jack.

"I don't think so." Michael spoke out before Jack or Dean could. 

“Sorry, Dean already called dibs on killing me the day I was born, you’re a little late.” Jack stated, he and Dean had worked through things since then, Dean was more like a father to him now, Jack had just wanted to piss his grandfather off.

"Michael! Son, what is the meaning of this!"

Michael charged towards him delivering a blow to his stomach, "I told you before, don't call me that." He sneered in his father's ear. 

"Hey! I wanted to do that!" Dean complained about Michael.

"You're a literal child." Crowley mumbled to Dean.

"D- shut up!" Dean scrunched his face in disapproval.

"FATUUS."  
The four looked at each other confused.  
"I said, Fatuus!" 

"Who are you expecting?" Michael asked

"Oh, the rogue reapers?" Dean added smirking. 

"No. It’s not possible. I warded them against you three. No angel could harm them."

"You didn't ward them against me." Crowley stated smugly, giving chuck a flirtatious wave. 

"Did you really think something as pathetic as that could stop me? Or any of us? Have you met us?" Dean asked, chuckling as he shook his head. 

"How?!"

"Hello, I'm Crowley! Demon king of hell. How awful to meet you." Crowley said sarcastically, "I also happen to be the most powerful demon to ever have lived thanks to a little help from my best buddy Dean. In case you're forgetting, I'm strong but in an entirely different way from angels. Meaning they weren't warded from me. Plus. I'm bloody Crowley. I take what I want when I want."

"This is exactly why I was rooting against you." Chuck sneered at the King.

"Oh boohoo. Shut your face. You're coming with us."


	67. I'm sorry, baby. I'll never leave you again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I didn't upload yesterday, still not feeling too hot. Plus I finally uploaded a new work that I will be updating regularly when this finishes soon.

Sam wept as he held the little bundle in his giant arms.

Rowena gazed up at him through drained eyes.  
Why was he crying?  
Oh god. The newborn.

Why wasn't the baby crying?

Had she messed this up too? Before she’d even really had a chance?

“It’s a little boy. Our little boy.”

“H-he's ok?”

“He’s perfect.”

“Are ye sure?”

“Cas and Adam both checked him over, we have both celestial and medical approval. He's fine.” Sam beamed through his tears. 

"Then why are you crying? You almost gave me a bloody heart attack!" Rowena raised her voice. 

"I'm sorry. I'm just so freaking thrilled. For the first time in ages, I feel like it's all going to be okay." 

Rowena smiled more considerately, holding her arms out for her child as Sam sat beside her. 

It really did feel like it was all going to be okay. 

“Aww, what's the matter?” Dean goaded Chuck, “Not feeling so tough anymore?”

Chuck stared at him with a venomous glare, fuming in his silence.

“I'm gonna go fetch Adam and Cas, then Check on Sam. I’ll be back, just watch him and then you can go meet your new sibling.” Dean said to Crowley, giving him a thankful nod.

Though deep down somewhere in his cold mostly dead heart, Crowley was delighted to see his new sibling, he was still in no rush.  
To think just over a year ago, Dean would never have trusted the Demon with such a task and now he couldn't be more thankful for having him in his life as a friend. 

“Hey, is that my little nephew?” Dean went over to pick up the baby.

“Dean, yeah. Yeah, did everything go okay?”

“Yeah, Chuck's in the dungeon with Crowley. You okay Rowena?”  
Dean smiled down at his baby nephew as he reached to grasp Deans finger.

“Yes thanks, Dean, just tired.”

“Of course, I’ll leave you to rest.” Dean said handing the Witch the baby, “He's adorable, congrats.”

“Thank you.”  
Dean smiled curtly.

As he turned to leave she spoke up, “I’m sorry Dean.”

“What for?” 

“For keeping secrets, I don't like this awkwardness.”

“Hey, it’s fine. Water under the bridge.” Dean said squeezing her shoulder gently, he actually meant it.  
His anger had partially subsided after capturing Chuck and seeing his new nephew. He smiled at her before leaving.

“How long do I have?” Sam whispered to Dean outside the door.

“Not long, I’m sorry Sam. I’d give this to my child if i could-”

“What? No, no kid deserves that pressure. Besides, that's a whole new species, we don't wanna alter them. I’ve accepted it, Rowena is fine with it, I just want to know.”

“Preferably I’d give you a day, but i remember how i felt when Amara suggested that to me, so I’ll give you just over a week so you can settle in Elena when she comes in a few days.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“Don't sweat it, Sammy, I’ve got your back, always.”

Sam smiled thankfully at his brother.

"Cas!" Dean exclaimed walking into his room.

"Dean, you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why are you ok?" Confused by Cas' question.

"Y-yeah I'm fine."

"Castiel, tell him what you told me."

"Michael!" Cas hissed

"Adam, actually. Now tell him." His eyes flashing Azure. 

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Our brother here just likes to exaggerate."   
Oh Yeah, Dean still needed to sort that. 

"Cas?"

"Nothing, I just had a twinge."

"Is the baby okay? Are you ok?"

"I'm right here? Pretty sure that indicates I’m just fine."  
Okay, cranky.

"Fine. Adam, care to enlighten me?"

"I come in here and Mr ‘I'm fine’ here keels over and collapses in agony."

"Are they ok?"

"They're fine. I think its to do with the baby's grace. Its change rapidly over the last two weeks, I need a little time to be able to tell what's the problem. Other than that they are healthy."

“Thanks, you go, we’ll be there in a bit.” Dean said quietly to Adam.

"Cas we said-"

"I know. No more secrets. I didn't stop Adam telling you did I?"

"I know b-"

"Didn't you say you had something for me?"   
Cas was too agitated for this conversation.

"Oh yeah, your dads in the dungeon."

"Okay. And?"

"I thought you might wanna go and see him."

Warm, was it too warm in this room? His clothes began to feel unpleasant against his skin.

“Why? Last time he was here he barely even spared me a thought. Oh and a few weeks ago he literally kidnapped me so he could use our baby for power!"

"I meant to say goodbye."   
Dean didn't really want him around Chuck but he knew Cas deserved answers the same way Michael did.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Dean knew this couldn’t be easy, he remembered the resentment he'd once had towards his father and how desperately he'd wanted answers he thought he'd never get.  
"Trust me Cas. Get those answers you need whilst you still can. We're about to start a whole new chapter of our lives and you'll regret it if you don't get closure. Trust me I'm talking from a lifetime of experience."

Cas thought about it for a moment, “Alright, I’ll go,”

“But let’s give Michael 15 minutes alone with him first, so he can let it all out.” He supposed he should probably let off some steam beforehand, that and he'd figured out why he was so warm… 

“Yeah, hope he gets some answers, maybe. It’s the least he deserves.” Dean spoke, not grasping what Cas had implied.

‘Simpleton.’ Cas thought, he loved the man but sometimes-  
“What do you propose we do in those fifteen minutes?” Cas questioned suggestively.

“I don't know 15 minutes isn't an awful lot of time.” Dean finally caught on, Cas smirked. “A half-hour though could prove to be very productive,” Dean insinuated, licking his lips.

“Hey, the more time the better,” Cas said before grabbing Dean by his leather Jacket and crashing his lips hungrily against his before they sunk onto the bed.

Cas knew Dean was about to scratch his itch beautifully.


	68. Wouldn't you rather be a fond memory than a constant, festering disappointment?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I'm taking so long to upload recently, I just don't want to rush the final few chapters. I want to make sure I can tie up any major loose ends and just give it a good, well-rounded ending-  
If you have any suggestions for improvements or such, let me know in the comments, thank you for reading!

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm sor-"

"Stow your crap. I know you aren't sorry. In fact, I don't even know why I’m here."

Chuck scoffed, rolling his eyes, "You've been spending so much time with these Winchesters you're starting to sound like them."

"Maybe that's because I am a Winchester."

"No! You are MY son."

"Trust me I'm more a Winchester than I will ever be your son. It's funny how you only care to remember that when it works in your benefit." Michael spat. 

"Just because you're wearing one, doesn't make you one."

"He wouldn't need to be 'wearing' me to be a Winchester." Adam interrupted bitterly. 

"Shut up you worthless ape."

"No," Michael struck Chuck, "Keep your mouth shut. Unless I ask you to, don't speak. For your own good." He said, grabbing his lance.  
He could say whatever he wanted about him, he could handle it, he'd numbed out any despondency or sentiment in general when it came to his crap excuse for a father- but he would unquestionably not tolerate him saying anything bad regarding Adam, or any of the Winchesters or newfound family, but particularly not Adam.

“You won’t use that on me, you can't.” 

“I can, and I will. So don't test me.”

“What happened to you, Michael? You used to be so-”

“So, what? Pliant? Acquiescent? Obedient? Sorry but that Michael is long gone. In fact, I’m not sorry, you brought this upon yourself.” 

“So, what? You're just gonna let Dean Winchester kill me? Because you're not my favourite. Grow up Michael”

“I told you to shut up.” Michael slashed his spear on Chuck’s arm causing him to squeak out in pain.

“What the hell?”

“You never were good at listening were you?” Michael said repeating the action on his other arm.  
“Now it’s my turn to demand things from you.”

"We waiting on anyone else?” Dean jested as he handed baby Elena back to Sam.

Somewhere in all the commotion of the last week, Jack bought down Eileen and Sam's child from heaven so everyone was also trying to adjust to having three babies in the place as well as all the other upheaval.

“Other than yours, no,” Sam replied, referencing Castiel's pregnancy. 

That comment soon knocked the cockiness from Dean's voice.  
He was excited, but it didn't stop him from panicking or fearing the worst.  
He let out a forced chuckle at the comment. 

“Three's a party, or so they say. I got left with the most monotonous angels in the galaxy.” Chuck taunted, Cas rolled his eyes as he observed Michael's demeanour.  
Michael had gone down to see chuck every day since he'd been there, this was the first time Cas had bothered, but he knew Dean was right, he needed answers.

“Are you ok Michael?” 

“Yeah,” he spoke, “how are you feeling now?” He was lying, but he didn't want to expose Michael in front of Chuck and decided to leave the questions until later.

"Better. I thought I'd come and try and get some pathetic answers from this bastard before we put him down like the bitch he is."

Both Chuck and Michael were taken aback. Though, Michael was grinning whereas Chuck wasn't.  
"The stage is yours, my dear brother." Michael chuckled, stepping aside leaning on the table. 

"Dean really has been rubbing off on you." Chuck grimaced. Trying to crack a joke to hide his hurt ego. 

"Oh, he's been rubbing off all over me in ways I bet you wish he would all over you." Cas snapped back. 

As much as he didn't need to hear that, Michael was enjoying this feisty Castiel. It was like a mix of Crowley and Dean's humour and coming from his younger brother's mouth, it made it all the more priceless. 

"So what exactly do I need to do?" Sam questioned, handing Mary, Elena to put to sleep. 

"You need to just sit there and look pretty. I'll do all the hard work, mind you, looking pretty should be a task enough in itself for you." Dean jested. 

"Hey!" Sam said, thwacking Dean lightly on the arm, earning a few snickers from John and Crowley. 

"No, on a serious note, you just need to make sure you're mentally ready for this. Or as ready as you can be. Its a lot." Dean warned. 

"You’re kidding, right? The only thing he's mentally ready for is a nap." Crowley goaded, Sam rolled his eyes at his demon stepson as Dean smirked. 

“Alright then, say your goodbyes and whatnot,” 

Sometimes Dean would act as he used to when he was human and Sam would forget he was now the darkness, but then little things he would do and say would bring it all back,  
“I’m gonna go check on Mike and Cas, then we can get this show on the road so I can end the bastard.” Dean finished

"I would've given my life for you. Now I can barely look at you." Michael spoke. 

"Sadly enough, I too would've done so." Cas added. 

"Yeah until you met Dean Winchester." 

Oddly enough it did seem as though Chuck was somewhat remorseful about their words but he didn't let it show for long, going back to his usual *punchable* demeanor.  


As if Dean had heard his name he appeared in the room. 

"Ohohoho! Nice! Let me get a handle on that.” Dean said, gesturing at Michael's spear.

“You guys alright?” He asked, looking between the bitter brothers.

He placed a gentle hand on Castiel's cheek, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just getting ready to take out the trash." Cas said gesturing to Chuck, sudden confidence filling him. 

Dean and Michael chuckled, as Dean turned to Chuck,

"Nothing is going to bring me as much pleasure as killing you."

"Careful. Castiel might get jealous."

"Oh, believe me, your son is in a whole other league of his own. Nothing could beat that."  
Dean spoke, grabbing Cas' ass and kissing him fervently for a moment, leaving him and Castiel slightly flustered and Chuck visibly agitated.

"He has no need to be jealous, as flattering as your little crush on me is, I wouldn't touch you even if it was my last day alive."

"You're not even that much of a catch," Chuck said in a feeble attempt to save his battered pride. 

"That's pretty funny coming from the guy that's been obsessed with me and my family for however long."

"Eons, Dean, Eons," Michael informed, smirking slightly at the absurdity. 

"Oh, did I just beat your already wounded ego? I'd say sorry, but uh... I'm not." Dean grimaced. 

"Now why don't you pass me that lance, and we'll get cracking with this adorable farewell party! Or better yet, I'll take my powers for a real test drive. "

Dean spoke in a sadistic manner. 

"Ok and don't worry Chuck. I'll make sure my face is the last one you'll ever see."

Dean advanced towards him, a menacing look on his face.

“Now let’s talk about transferring your powers.”


	69. Welcome to the end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg, only 4 chapters left now!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm dumb, this has been sat saved for 2 days, thought I posted it.

“Dean, I need a hand with something downstairs.”

He could tell by the look on Crowley's face it needed immediate attention, hell Chuck could wait a little bit.

“Downstairs? We don't... Oh, hell. Okay.” Dean turned to Chuck momentarily, “Don't look so relieved sweetheart, I'll be back later to start the fun.”

“Can't wait…” Chuck said monotonously.

“That's the spirit!” Dean grimaced at the being.

“Make sure you all say what needs saying because after that no ones gonna get a chance.” he aimed at the brothers.

Everyone knew that was a promise, guaranteed. 

He had not anticipated that. Probably because he hadn't been looking, but after what happened, no one would've thought to look...  
"There's your room, stay there until I say otherwise." He commanded, locking the door with his energies to warrant no escape.  
Just a little normality, please! Was some normalcy so much to ask?

Who was he even asking at this point?

Actually, he still had something important to do. Dean remembered, making his way to Adam who was sat in his room.

"Hey Adam, I, uh, Michael can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Certainly, Dean. What's up?" He responded, eyes momentarily flashing azure.

"I know about you and Adam..." Dean nudged.

"What? That we share his vessel, I believe everyone does..." Michael shifted tensely at the prospect of anyone knowing that he feels things.

"I was getting more at the fact that you're in love with each other."

"Well, that seems like a conversation for you and Adam. I'll be-"

"No!" Dean grabbed Michael by the arm who looked up at him apprehensively, "Actually...Hold still, this might pinch."

"What? AH!"

“Hey, uh, I saw Michael’s lance in there.” Dean said to Cas who was confused, what was the big deal? They had all seen it before...

“I remembered that night you almost died because of it.” Dean paused, recalling the trauma.

Oh... Cas was still getting used to Dean admitting hid feelings towards Cas and every time he found himself more and more in awe.

“Point is, uh, I know every archangel has their own specific abilities, their own personal weapon and you were just thrown into it by Jack who as much as he meant well, didn't do the best job at preparing you at all.” Cas was flattered that Dean cared so much.

Truthfully Dean had wanted to do it sooner, but circumstances hadn’t been in his favour.

“I uh, I made this for you, and I also have something else for you.”  
Dean handed a confused but endeared Castiel the box.  
In the box was a seemingly customised angel blade, it was larger than a regular one and had intricate detailing on the handle, at the base in cursive was written Castiel- he loved it, it was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for him.

“An angel blade? Thank you, it’s beautiful. But Dean but I already had an angel blade, you didn't need to go to any trouble.”

“I know but this is different,” Dean took the blade from Cas, “May I?” he placed his hand atop Cas’ head.

“Of course, Dean.”

“ego tibi dabo potestatem aqua et terrae”  
Castiel felt an energy surge through him.

“What, what was that?” He asked, confused but invigorated.

“Well I figured, Michael has the firepower and Lucifer had Ice/water and Raphael had Earth/lightning and Gabriel had the wind. Other than Michael and Gabriel, they’re gone, so I figured I’d give you both the power of Water and the Earth.If you want we can go test your new powers on a pack of werewolves later?"

Cass wrapped Dean in a warm embrace.

“I love you so much, Dean.”

The words hit Dean like no other.

Cas had just admitted he was in love with him.

Deans whole world lit up.  
“You love me?” 

Dammit why didn't he just say he loved him too, why was he like this? Dean mentally slapped himself. 

‘Too late, the moment’s over.’ he thought.

“Yes, I do.” All of a sudden Cas’ face fell,  
“Wait.”

“What?” Dean asked, worried.

“Did you say Gabriel was alive?”

Dean clicked his fingers and Michael and Gabriel appeared before them.

“Don't ever do that again.” Michael warned Dean, unamused being as he normally clicked people to places, not the other way round- until he saw Gabriel and got extraordinarily disconcerted.

“Gabriel?”

“Alive and in the flesh!”

“I-I don't understand, I thought you were dead?” Cas spoke.

“Hello? Trickster?” Gabriel sassed, “Besides, Sam labelled me an honourary Winchester so it only makes sense I could defy death.”

“But how? Why? Where have you been?” 

“How- I’m me. Why? Not a clue. And where- I was rotting in hell with some sadistic hillbilly Prince of hell.”

“You're welcome.” Dean spoke.

“But how did you find him?”

“Went to hell with Crowley to get the demons in order, felt a weird presence and found this idiot.”

“Hey!” 

“Have you been to see-”

“Daddy dearest, yeah. He's not happy with you all, but like him with me... I don't care what happens to him, he's an ass.”

“I'm glad you think so.”

“So just us three left huh?” 

“Yeah.”

“What do you say to some quality sibling bonding time?” 

“We have something more important to tend to right now, but after, sure.”

“Of course. Besides, the party of the century and I’m not there? Impossible.” Gabriel grinned.

"You seem different, Michael..." Cas noted aloud, tilting his head in confusion.

"Ah... Dean gave me a slight upgrade." He said clicking his fingers, so Adam appeared in front of them separately.

"He separated your vessel? Oh! So you guys could finally be together?" Cas said, smirking

"You knew?" Adam asked

"Of course, I may be bad at human emotions, but Michael, he's worse."

Adam chuckled in agreement.

"How does it work?"

"It's not a perfect process, but considering his powers are darkness and destruction, he's pretty good at fixing things," Michael said, gesturing to Dean who was conversing with his other younger brother, "Adam still has a little of my essence in him, its what allows me to appear in his form without needing another vessel, and it also won't allow him to die easily or of old age and can heal any minor injuries and suppress a few basic needs."

Cas was amazed.

“Looks like you’ve been busy Dean… got two upgrades.” Gabriel gestured to Cas’ large bump, whilst the archangel was in conversation with his older brother.

“How? You’ve literally been gone, there's no way!”

“It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain cell, even back then I could tell there was a little something...”

"Shut up!" Dean waved him off.

“He's quiet…” Sam remarked, gesturing to Chuck.

“Not by choice, but being more powerful than him, has its perks, for me at least.”

“Does that mean you’ll be more powerful than me?”

“Yeah, I’d say I hate to break it to ya, but I don't.”  
Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s childishness.

“We can't do this here, I’ll take us someplace far.” Dean added

Sam hadn’t realised that by someplace far, Dean had meant another galaxy.

“I’d take you to the empty, but the shadow would probably kill him on sight. As great as that would be, we need him for his powers, besides, I kinda promised I’d be the one to kill him, so…” Dean gave Sam a short hug and a meaningful look, asking him, “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Dean noticed the slight quiver in Sam's voice, he had it when he was younger and afraid.

“You’ve got this Sam, and if you ever feel like you don't, you’ve always got me. Though, I guess becoming the light should take away any negativity, or so you’d hope, but he's not been the best example.”

Dean clapped Sam’s shoulder before moving back towards Chuck,

“ei vim luminis”  
Dean placed his hand on Chuck’s head,

“dare facultatem lumine”  
Then appeared to rip something out of him with brute force.

Dean wanted to hear him scream and so removed his whammy from Chuck allowing him a brief moment to be heard.

“Fuck you, Winchester.”

“Aw, adorable, he's Grumpy. Now, shut up.” He reversed it, silencing the screams.

Sam was slightly alarmed by how much Dean was enjoying Chuck’s pain, but he couldn’t say he blamed him for wanting him to suffer, that and him being the darkness- it all made sense.

“See Amara got this done in less than a day, minimal pain for her,” Dean explained to the two, “but in this case, though I could make it go fast, as she did but why hurt Sammy more, when I can hurt you! The slower I go, the less pressure on Sam, can't say the same for you though.” he aimed at Chuck, sadistically.

“It should take around 3 days total,” he informed Sam, who nodded nervously as the light began to approach him.

“And then it’ll be my turn to have all the fun."


	70. I am not... kidding you.

“Watcha doin’ Dean?”  
She surveyed the two men in pain as Dean stood over them.

“What does it look like?”  
Dean retorted sarcastically, Billie had grown on him, but sometimes her questions were a little unnecessary.

“You must have quite the faith in your ability.” She remarked, slightly impressed by Dean's aggrandizement.

“I do.” Billie looked at Dean, amused.

“And you think he’s up to the task?” She gestured towards a drowsy Sam.

“Sure, he’ll need a little work, but he’s got it in him.”  
At one point Dean had considered taking it all on himself by absorbing Chuck's powers, but he thought it best if he balanced it out with someone who he felt capable.

“Billie, get me out of this! Now!” Chuck demanded.

“Why would I do that?” she scoffed in response, she had never really been a fan the way the old Death had been.

“I made you!” 

“That's disputed.”

“Explain, how else would you be here. Amara doesn't know you, so she obviously didn't create you and you aren't older than her so..?”

“Who else also existed at that time that could have created me.”

The realisation painted a look of horror on the being's face, which Dean thought intermingled beautifully with the agony of what was going on.  
“No- no way, that's not possible!”

“Oh, but it is. And right now, I don't know a single being that wants you alive.”  
Dean thoroughly agreed with the statement.

“Why did you even come here then?” 

“You expect me to feel a power that immense and not get curious? C’mon!”

“Keep up the good work, Dean. See you later.” She said tapping his shoulder before leaving.

“See she's after you next Dean, she said see you later.”

"Actually, she can't kill me. Plus we're friends.”

“But she can kill me, so why not you?”  
Chuck was seething.

“Well, like she said. Technically, my power predates hers, and Amara has her thing with the shadow so, yeah, I'm exempt.”

“But she said see you later…”

“She has a thing with Crowley, we see her around often, not that I need to explain to the likes of you. Now, shut up and entertain me.”  
Dean said, sending Chuck into paralyzing agony once more.

Dean lay a currently comatose Sam down next to a sleeping Rowena and left once he'd checked Sam’s vitals.

It was 02:30 am and he didn't want to disturb the kids or the new mother.

He knew everything was about to change and he couldn’t wait. 

They had already been through so much change, but now he thought about it, he reckoned it was much needed.

To be rid of chuck, once and for all sounded like heaven to Dean right now. 

He was still getting used to his new abilities and he knew it would take Sam a while to adjust as well, probably more so considering he had 3 kids to look after.

But at that moment the only slice of heaven Dean needed was to see Cas. He'd been away from him for 3 days and he didn't like the feeling. It was just emptiness and then the anger at Chuck. That, and he felt an urge to protect him and his child, though between them he knew they were more than capable of doing so themselves.

Dean's heart almost melted at the sight upon entering his room. 

Cas was there on his bed sound asleep, soft snores escaping his mouth. 

His clothes were in a neat pile on the floor and he was in one of Dean's white t-shirts and shorts. 

Dean stripped and went and lay behind him pulling the angel close.

He lay his hand on Cas’ heavily swollen abdomen, relishing the warmth and energy of both Cas and his child intermingling with him.

"Dean..?" Said the groggy voice. 

"Yeah Cas. Go back to sleep." Dean whispered softly, combing his hand through the angel’s hair and kissing his head softly. 

Cas muttered incoherently as he settled into Dean's warm embrace. 

"How's he doing?" Dean asked Rowena

"You tell me."

"Yeah he's good should just need a few days."

"Why didn't you need it."

"Because Amara transferred the energy from herself. This was done by another and it was also a forced transfer, it was bound to be a process."

“Aye, when will he wake up?”

“Should be a few days… why, the little ones causing you trouble?” Dean questioned walking over to the cots, smiling down at his nephew and nieces.

“No, I can manage, besides I have a whole support network here between your parents and Fergus with wee Daniel, don't know when they’re coming or going except for when its feeding time.”

“Haha, Crowley, the big softie, that'll come in handy.” Dean paused for a second calculating, “Wait. You feed them all?”

“Of course, I’m their mum.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I- just- you really have changed.” Dean smiled at the woman.”

“They do say a woman who nurses her children tends to have a closer bond with them, besides me and Sam will be raising them, so it makes sense, I want them to see me as their own, that all starts with me treating them as my own. Anyway, they’re a part of the man I love, how can I not love them?”

Dean hugged the witch, “Thank you, Rowena.”

“Oh, for what?”

“For taking care of Sammy so well, and all this.”

“Someone had to sort out that weird co-dependency thing you guys had going, I feel it will help you guys be able to form a relationship that isn't built upon stress and worry and especially not duty.”

Come to think of it Dean really hadn’t been so preoccupied with his worry for Sam. Of course, he still worried about him, but it wasn't a suffocating worry, it was just concern that any normal sibling would have for the other, there was no burden or necessity, he’d been able to focus on what he had wanted to… Cas.

“Thanks... I gotta go, let me know if anything changes with him.”

“Say hi to lover boy from me” Rowena teased Dean who nodded flusteredly before he left.

"Hey, you ready?

"Sure, though i don't see why this can't wait."

"Because. we'll be busy raising this little one after that.

"The worlds not gonna stop for us, the evil and the bad...

"I can take care of that in a second, anytime. one of the perks of these powers. Now stop worrying, that's my job... let's go, that pack won't end itself."

"That was awesome."

"It was a waste."

"I beg to differ, time spent with you is never a waste."

"That's not what I meant, you're not a waste, i meant time-"  
Dean loved getting Cas flustered, it was humorous and charming.

"I know, but it was hot, you literally just blinked and obliterated them from existence, that's sexy."  
Cas smirked shyly, he loved it when Dean was impressed by him.

"I'll go get you two some fluids and uh, we can maybe test out those powers in another way..."  
Cas smirked, he liked where this was going.

"Go wait on the bed, I'll be 2 minutes." He said, kissing the angel tenderly before flitting away.

When he got back to the room Cas was sound asleep. 

He stopped in the doorway with the drink staring at the archangel for a second.

His heart was overwhelmed with love for the angel, the thought made him laugh as it was unusual for him to have these feelings being who he was, but it felt right.

There was just one last thing for him to deal with before he could just truly allow himself to be fully open with Cas.

"Is he dead?" Gabriel asked.

"Not yet." Dean responded

"Why?" 

"I wanna have fun with it."

"I thought he'd be dead if all his life force was taken from him?" Adam said, confused.

Dean had entered the Kitchen where the two original archangels and his brother were having some form of a conference about something Dean didn't care to ask about.

"Heh- that's still weird,” Dean pointed to the two, “I left the tiniest particle in him."

"Why?" Michael was perplexed, he figured Dean would want the guy dead as soon as possible.

"Well first, so I can make him miserable, more so than I already have. But best of all so that when he does die he goes straight to the empty guaranteed." he said with a blood-lustful grin on his face

"Yeah...ok." Adam said unsettled

"What?" Dean asked

"Sometimes I forget you're the darkness is all." he added

Dean just chuckled in response to the comment. 

Chuck looked in horror at all the items Dean laid out on the table.

His eyes darted around surveying the items, from Lucifer's spear to the scythe.

THE SCYTHE?!

“Where did you get that?” Chuck asked shakily, eyes not moving off the weapon as Dean poked it in his fingertip.

“Billie's practically family, what with her and Crowley..”

“Oh, and just in case you get any smart ideas…” Dean sliced himself with the scythe, leaving Chuck utterly horrified.

What they had said was true. 

“I’m immune, big guy up there likes me, well- a lot more than he likes you that's for sure.” Dean smirked, talking about the shadow, adding to Chuck’s horror.

“I don't get it, I almost killed Amara…”

“But you didn't, so you don't really know if she would’ve died or not.”

“This is horse shit.”

Dean laughed at his tantrum.

“Shut up.” He said, using his powers to torture the being who writhed and screamed in agony.

“Time to die.”


	71. Hey sweetheart, did ya miss me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eep.

Dean observed the pile of dust before him.

After all these years of fighting and all the pain... It really had all been worth it. 

It was finally over.

He was gone.

Dean finally felt f r e e.

The first thought he could comprehend after the ringing of Chuck’s outcries in his ears had stopped was about Cas.

“Cas!”

Dean called upon entering the room.

“What is it Dean, are you alright?” The angel lifted himself from the bed, concerned.

“Yes, I’m- I’m perfect, I’m frickin’ thrilled. But most importantly,” He cupped Cas’ face between his hands.

“I love you.” Dean blurted out.  
It felt right, Dean knew for sure he was in control, Chuck wasn't around to pull the strings anymore.

Cas couldn’t quite believe his ears.  
His heart practically stopped at the words and his grace flipped with excitement.

He never knew he had needed to hear something so much in his entire existence, but now he had, it was the only thing he ever wanted to hear again.   
Dean Winchester, the man he loved for the longest time, the only being he had ever truly loved, actually loved him too.

Dean obstructed his thoughts with a rough kiss.  
It was like their first kiss all over again, but this time, there were no questions, no doubts, just pure and utter ecstasy.

Dean didn't even know where to begin. 

He felt as though he had been reawakened… 

He couldn’t quite explain the feeling, but he felt like nothing could ever get to him again.  
As though all and any negativity in the world had faded.

“It’s over, Cas, it’s finally over.” Dean allowed himself to break down in the angel’s arms as tears of joy escaped his eyes.  
He hadn’t realised just how much rage he had been holding onto because of Chuck and what he had caused, the destruction of Dean’s whole life, but it was a relief to be able to let it go.  
But it was an even bigger relief to be able to feel at all.

Feeling Cas and his baby bump further swelled the happiness in his heart, making him feel as though he was going to burst with happiness and pride.

“C’mon, let’s go and tell everyone.” Dean pulled Cas out the room like an excited child.

“You seem so-”

“Happy?”

“Excluding a few moments, I’ve never been this happy in my life.” Dean admitted to the pair, he really hadn’t felt happiness like this ever before, the closest things to it were when he found out Cas was alive and when he found out Cas was pregnant. 

Maybe he hadn’t ever felt happiness truly before this because that was the way Chuck had wanted it to be?  
That was all irrelevant now.  
Now he thought about it, any happiness he had felt was centred around his family, especially Cas.

Adam hugged Dean tightly, taking him from his thoughts.

“That's from Michael.” He chuckled.

“Wh-” Michael stopped his conversation with his younger brother overhearing Dean and Adam’s conversation.

“Shut up, just because you're not in me, doesn't mean I don't know what you’re thinking.” 

“That sounds dirty…” Dean chuckled, Cas rolled his eyes at the man, endearingly.

“Shut up!” Michael said, flustered. 

He and Adam knew he felt things but that didn't mean he wanted the whole world to know!

“So, you two finally sorted it out yet?” Dean asked regarding their separate yet intermingled bodies.

“We’re getting there, just trying to figure out how to tell Mom and Dad.” 

“Just be open, you might be surprised.” Dean advised, still gratified with his father’s reaction regarding his love for Cas.

“Yeah… Michael’s more nervous than I am.” Adam admitted for his counterpart.

“That's hilarious!” Dean guffawed.

Michael pulled Adam to the side, kissing him.

“Whu-” Adam said, dizzied, he loved Michael so much and the effect the angel had on him was uncanny.

“You talk too much.” Michael smiled at the man.

“We’ll leave you guys to baby-making.” Dean jested.

“What?”

“I’m not stupid, I know that's half the reason Michael wanted you guys to be separate.”

“But it’s not possible, I’m a man?”

“You have archangel grace inside of you dude, it’s possible.”

“And you’re a Winchester.” Cas pointed out.

“Yeah, you know us Winchesters,” Dean spoke, pulling Cas close, a hand on his bump.

That was also a little Winchester in there, a part of Dean and the thought thrilled him so.

“What are we completely disregarding angelic rulings now?”

“Yeah, I make the rules now.” Dean said, smirking.

They didn't know whether that was a good or a bad thing.

Only time would tell. 

“Have fun you two.” Dean winked cheekily at the flustered pair as he left the room with Cas on his arm.

That evening Dean and Cas sat in his room relaxing.

Dean knew Cas was due to give birth within the next month, which meant this was the only time they’d ever get to spend as just the two of them as a couple. Though he was thrilled he was going to be a father, he couldn’t help but wish Cas and himself had more time to just be a couple, so he could finally do everything he’d wanted to do with Cas.

But he wouldn’t swap this for anything.

Cas and his little baby.

“You thought of any names?”

"Not really, I can't seem to think of any that aren't angelic names, plus you don't wanna know what we’re having yet.” 

“But we could come up with names for either, besides if you'd prefer for it to have an angelic name I don't mind.” 

“Do you have any in mind?" Cas asked Dean

“One or two but they're a little basic and this is no basic being. Dean acknowledged. 

“Tell me, they might feel right or we could work around them." Cas reasoned. 

“I love the name Liam for a boy and for a girl, I like Talia"

“I like them." Cas did like them, Talia was beautiful, 'Dew of heaven'. Liam was nice too, as was the meaning, but he wasn't sure if it had the impact needed.

“What about you?" Dean asked, Cas' mind always amazed him.

“Well, there was this Persian King I once knew, thousands of years ago, he was a righteous man like yourself, his name was King Darius the great, I like that and I also like your suggestion for Talia, its nice.”

“My favourite name of all time though?”

“What?” Cas did the head tilt thing that made Dean melt.

“Castiel.” he whispered in his ear.  
Cas shuddered, it was rare that Dean called him by his full name but he liked it. 

“Well, I just so happen to love Dean.” Cas flirted back, poking at Dean’s chest. 

“That's funny because the angel I love, Castiel, also happens to love a man with that name.” 

“Is that the case?” Cas questioned, smirking at the man as he leaned into him.

Before they had a chance to act on their flirtations, suddenly the bunker began trembling.

“Wh- CAS.”

Cas stood up momentarily and crumpled to the fluid covered ground in excruciating agony.

“Dean... Dean, its time.” He managed to breathe out.

“Shit.”


	72. I don't care about what happens to me, I never really have. But I do care about him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end is nigh.

Dean panicked, he knew it would be happening soon, but he hadn’t exactly prepared for it.

"DEAN." The angel yelled in agony.

"It's ok Cas, I got you." He promised.

In his panic, Dean clicked his fingers flashing everyone into his room.  
He surveyed them all in his panic as Cas gasped in agony.

“UHHHH?” Dean was confused.

He chose to keep Michael, Adam, Crowley and Rowena in the room, sending the others away.

“Help?” He squeaked as the bunker continued to tremble along with Deans heart and Cas’ agony.  
He’d tried to think who was best in his panic, Adam was pre-med, Michael was the oldest and pretty powerful and Rowena and Crowley also had their own powers which could be of use.

“I, uh, he's, uh.” Dean stammered.

Adam approached him in an attempt to calm him before he too contributed to the bunkers trembling.  
“Dean, you need to focus man. Cas needs you right now.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean exhaled, moving to his lover, whispering reassurances in his ear as he grasped the hand of the archangel firmly.

It was almost as though the angel was somewhere else, he wasn't registering what anyone was saying, too lost in his own agony.

He was the darkness, he had power, Cas would be fine, Dean reassured himself.

He would not let anything happen to his child, and more importantly, to Cas.

“Ah, the actual angel of midwifery.” Crowley jested and Michael chuckled shaking Dean from his thoughts.

“Excuse me?” 

“What? You’ve been there for practically every important birth ever, it’s fair to call you that.” Michael added.

Gabriel scowled at the two.

Why hadn’t Dean remembered this before?  
Probably because he was so used to him being an annoying smartass.

“Just do your thing man.” Dean contended.

“Mike’s been the one studying this, I don't have a clue.” Gabriel admitted, he furrowed his brows as he looked at Cas stepping towards him, “I do, however, know that he should not be in that much pain, this should only have a slight difference to a Nephilim birth… But that is not normal in any case.” he informed.

“Someone needs to go outside and keep an eye out” Dean recalled Jack’s birth and the opening of the portal that got Cas killed mere months ago.

“Why?” Gabriel asked confused.

“The portal?” Crowley asked, assessing Deans expression. Dean sent a firm nod his way in response.

“Fine. I’ll take Jack and-”

“Jack’s keeping an eye on Sam because Rowena’s here.” 

“Well I was actually until I felt this- I’m on it then, I guess,” Gabriel said vanishing from sight.

Dean turned back his attention to his lover and squeezed Cas’ hand in support, kissing it.

“You’re gonna be fine, I promise.” 

Dean meant it, even if it meant destroying everything else, he would protect Cas.  
He knew that now, he knew a life without Cas was a life he did not want.  
He wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

Nothing else mattered.

“I’ve got you, Cas.”

Dean should have known better.  
When did things ever go smoothly for him, ever?

Despite being the darkness, he could still feel Cas' pain, and even though it didn't physically hurt him anymore, just knowing Cas could feel that made him want to scream.

“What's wrong with him?” Dean yelled at the four, who frantically tried to examine Cas.  
Dean had tried himself, but he couldn’t tell and it was worrying him.

What worried him even more than the trembling of the bunker and Cas’ deafening screams were the veins all over the archangel’s body, they had started off blinding and purple like the child’s grace, but now they had twisted to black.

The only other times he’d seen that were when- 

“MICHAEL?” Dean demanded answers.

Michael was perplexed, what was causing this?

He was struggling to sense any sign of the child since the lines on Cas’ body had turned black.

THINK MICHAEL THINK.

He wracked his brain, thinking about all the research he’d done on the new species growing inside his younger brother.  
Unfortunately, the black lines gave it all away.

Oh no.

“Bullshit, this is BULLSHIT.” Dean repeated ignoring his own thoughts, Michael still hadn’t answered him and that was not helping.

“Dean-”

“Adam, so help me- if you tell me to calm down-”

“Alright, alright. But you need to keep it together, for Cas, ok?”

“... Yeah. Yeah…”

“Just tell me what's wrong with him, please Michael.”

The man looked wrecked, and Michael felt the pain in his own heart worsen.

That was his little brother whom he’d grown to love, Cas.

“He’s dying.”

FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT.

“FIX IT.” Dean spoke, “HOW DO I FIX IT?”

He was in hysterics at this point.

He let go of Cas’ hand pacing frantically.

“You can’t.”


	73. Don't make me lose you too.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T? I’M THE DARKNESS, OF COURSE, I CAN!” Dean boomed as he too began contributing to the bunker’s trembling.

Dean knew he was strong, he was stronger than Sam, stronger than Jack and Death, what did he mean?!

“Dean. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER! You really think you can fix him like this?” Michael yelled.

He was right, this wasn't what Cas needed right now.

The baby.

“W-what about the baby?” Dean asked, terrified of more bad news.

“I-I don't know yet, I can't feel it.”

No.

Dean looked at the frail angel and his heart shattered. 

He couldn’t cope, not without Cas.

To lose his child on top of that.  
They were everything he’d ever wanted.

He couldn’t do it.

“I-I c-”  
He said vanishing from sight.

“Shit, I need to go after him.” Adam said, throwing Michael an apologetic look, and glancing at Cas before looking for his older brother.

Adam found Dean, in the Impala, lamenting.

He sighed, feeling awful for his brother before entering the car.  
Dean wiped at his tears, as Adam sat next to him.

“Dean. I’m sorry man. Just don't give up yet, its Cas, he’s a Winchester.”

Dean’s heart shattered further at his words.

“I didn't even get to tell him that.” He murmured.  
Adam pulled the man into an embrace.

“I love him, Adam. I love him so much it hurts, I can't, I can't do this without him.” He said breaking down in sobs.  
Even with his love for Michael, Adam couldn’t even begin to understand just how much Dean loved Cas if it was enough for him, as the darkness to feel so much… 

‘Dean.’  
Dean could feel Cas call out for him.

“We need light energy,” Michael spoke as the brothers re-entered.

“What?”

“Light energy.”

“Like Sam?” 

“Exactly.”

“But he's out cold? Can you wake him.”

“No we can't, he still needs a day or so. We can't risk waking him up early.” 

“What does he need to do? Can I not do it?”

“No you can't, see, I figured it out, the dark lines, like when Cas was hit by my lance, that's how I figured he was dying, I’ve seen it before. But the poison…Crowley told me about the darkness and he’d seen this when Amara was poisoning people…” 

“So this, this is all my fault.” Dean felt nauseated at the thought, “My baby and the love of my life are dying because of me?” Dean spat.

As if he’d needed more reason to despise himself.

“No,” This time Crowley spoke, he knew Dean sometimes listened to him, “He just needs light energy to counteract the darkness, at the moment the universe is slightly off-balance because Sam, the light, is technically dormant, so until Sam doesn't wake up and heal them there's not a lot that can be fone. But it’s not your fault Dean, it’s just the way of the universe.” the demon attempted to reassure the being.

“Well, what about you Michael? or, or Jack?” You’ve both got light-energy? Right?”

“Technically, but it’s not the right kind, he needs pure light. Jack is still Lucifer’s son, so that's slightly tainted.”

“What about the soul bomb thing?” Dean recalled.

“It’s not safe if it went off, any chance they have of surviving would be totalled.” Rowena chipped in.

“How long does he have?” Dean asked, terrified by his own question.

“At this rate, a few hours, maybe a day, at a stretch?” Michael guessed.

Dean raked his hand through his dishevelled hair.

“What if the child wasn't in him?”

“What do you mean?” Michael asked

“If he had given birth, would he be ok?”

“I-I mean, I guess, yes. The child seems to be the root of all this.”

“We need to get him to give birth.”

“But Dean, the child could die.”

Dean knew.  
He didn't know what to do… the child was killing him, and if Cas died, the child would die too.

Wait.

“Give me a few minutes.” 

He took a seat next to Cas, grabbing the angels cold hand, lined with black veins.

“Cas?”

“Dean?”

It worked.  
Dean had managed to find Cas’ essence.

“What's going on Dean? Where's the baby?”  
Cas was confused, he remembered he’d gone into labour but right now he was just stood in an empty space with Dean.

“Cas,” Dean reached out to touch his lovers face, almost breaking down at the thought of what he was going to say.

“What's wrong, Dean?” Cas asked, tilting his head, sending Dean over the edge, letting the tears spill.

“Cas, I- you’re dying. Our baby is dying, you’re dying.”  
Cas looked horrified.

“Dean..” he whimpered, placing his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I don't know what to do. If I wait for Sam, you could die before he wakes up. The only other option is if you give birth, it’s so dangerous, but it could save you.”

He bowed his head in shame, hoping the angel didn't hate him.

“If you give birth we could try to find something to save it. But if you don't, both of you could die. I don't want to ask you to chose, but I don't know what else to do. I’m sorry.”  
“I can't lose you.”

He felt sick, as Cas didn't respond.

“I’ll do it.”

Dean looked up at him, hope stirring within him.

“You’re sure, do you have the energy for that?”

“Yes, Dean. My strength lies in you.”  
As did Dean's.

“I love you so much, Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean... please keep us safe until Sam wakes up.”

“Just try stopping me.”

“Dude, what the hell was that?” Adam asked as Dean rose.

“I was talking to Cas.” 

“How?” 

“I went into his subconscious, I spoke with his essence.”

“And? Is he ok?”

“He’s there, but he's weak, I could feel it, he doesn't have long, but… he agreed to give birth.”

“But Dean, the-”

“I know, he knows, but he chose to, and I will keep the baby safe for as long as I can, I don't care. I’m not losing Cas.”

“Okay. I guess we’ve got a baby to deliver then.” Crowley added.


	74. I'll keep swinging until I've got nothing left.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3/4 more chapters to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm sorry I haven't updated for a month, its been chaos, I've had uni work, yes uni work- still going on btw- and I just got super busy getting ready to come to uni and just with life really! the show ending is really hitting hard atm, but I'm determined to push through and try and give this the ending it deserves, i don't wanna rush it and ruin it but please leave any thoughts or suggestions in the comments of how you would like to see it end! hope you're all good and thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy!

“If Jack hadn't given me that power up, I probably would’ve been obliterated by that, remind me to thank him, the next time I see him.” Crowley quipped, attempting to shout over the noise.

“Actually you two should probably get out of here and keep anyone but Jack, Gabriel and Sam out, unless they fancy dying that is.” Michael advised the mother and son duo.

“Yeah go and keep an eye on Sam actually and get someone to do another scope outside.

Cas was always the first one to throw himself in harm’s way for Dean, and here Dean was haplessly waiting to see if he could do something, anything to help save him. 

He knew they had to wait for Sam, but he didn't know if Cas or the child could last that long.

He felt so useless.

All this power, but he still couldn't save the one he loves the most?

There had to be some way around it. 

Dean could physically feel Cas’ pain and that said a lot about just how much pain exactly Cas was in as Dean was a primordial being, pain or any feeling for that matter was not something he was supposed to be able to feel anymore, but as Crowley said, no one bent the rules like they did.

‘I can't do this without you Cas.’

Dean could hardly remember what the world was like without his, he didn't want to remember nor did he want to know.

He just wanted Cas to be OK, he wanted their child to be OK.

He didn't want any of this if Cas wasn't there to share it with him.

No, he was not going to let them die, it wasn't up for question, Dean was going to make sure to do any and every possible thing within his power to save them.

Cas continued to let out loud screams that shattered every glass object in sight, Dean held on to the angel's hand for comfort, though at this point he wasn't sure if it was for Cas’ or his own comfort.

“Uh guys, we have a problem,” John spoke, bursting into the room.

“Dad you can't be in here,” Dean warned, if Cas was to scream a burst of energy again suddenly, his dad wouldn't survive. 

“What’s happened now?” Adam asked.

“The sun is doing the same thing it did when Chuck was dying…” he informed the trio.

“What the hell?” Dean spoke, momentarily moving away from Cas who shrieked from the loss of contact with Dean.

Dean intuitively slammed the door in his father's face to protect him and sent Adam out to talk to him whilst he calmed Cas down.

“Shit,” Dean mumbled, he knew he had to go and check and sort this out but, he needed to be here for Cas.  
But he didn't need a world without Cas. 

The sun could wait.

Hang on.

Dean was fine.

“If the sun is dying…” Michael mumbled as Adam walked back in.

“What's wrong with Sammy?” Dean questioned.

It was official, Dean had reached his limit. 

First Cas and his child and now Sam? 

To hell with it all.

But no, they had a chance, he couldn't just give up on Cas like that.

Shit.

“I need to go check on Sam real quick, could you guys manage for a few minutes?” Dean asked the couple.

“Yeah but be quick, without you he seems to be in a lot more agony, and a lot more unstable."

“That's a two-way street then I guess.” Dean quipped, vanishing from sight.

“Rowena, what's wrong with him.”

“i - i don't know.” she panicked, seemingly close to tears.

Dean could feel her pain.

“Here, take a minute, let me see.” He gently ushered her to one side to collect herself, making his way over to Sam.

“Sammy, what's going on?” He mumbled as he gave him a once over.

“Jack, Dad- when did this start?”

“I felt his energy dip slightly around half an hour ago, I thought it was normal for it to fluctuate because it did that at the start. Then Grandpa John went out and saw the sun.

“Crowley, whe-”

He was cut short as he felt a sharp pain in his shoulders.

Cas’ mark, he needed him. 

“Are you ok Dean-” 

“Fine! I’m fine!” he yelled in frustration, on one hand, was the love of his life and his child, and the other there was his youngest brother, he’d practically raised himself.

He racked his tired mind to think of what or who could help.

“Where the hell is Gabriel?” Dean clicked his fingers bringing Gabriel in front of him.

“Woah what's up with him? It’s like his energy is leaking.” the archangel spoke, walking over to Sam, bewildered- not even acknowledging Dean having felt his temper.

“Leaking? What? Where the hell have you been?” Dean didn't like the sound of that, that did not sound good at all.

“What? You told me to keep an eye out! I was doing that.” 

“Well, now you’re coming with me to help Cas.” Dean clicked his fingers and they were back in the room where Cas’ screams had gone up by several hundred decibels.

“Adam, Gabriel said Sam’s energy is apparently leaking for some reason, somehow, you, Jack and the others are gonna have to take the lead on that.” Dean rushed over to his side frantically, grabbing his hand trying to soothe Cas.

“Shouldn't I go, I was the one who identified it…” Gabriel suggested.

“No, you're on midwife duty.” 

“You have the strongest archangel in the room, why do you need me, he knows more than me at this point.”

“Fine, but I swear if you don't -”

“Don't worry, I’ll make sure Sam gets fixed up, good as new. I'm invested now, we’re practically family.”

“Would you shut your piehole and go do what I said.” Dean raged as Gabriel disappeared from sight.

"How's he doing?" Dean said looking down in sadness at the black veins lining the angels beautiful features.

"Better now you're back, but still not as good as we'd like. He's incredibly weak. Your child, the intensity of its power is killing Cas. He's trying to give birth but he's struggling greatly.

“Is there no such thing as a celestial caesarian?" Dean half-joked.

“I'm afraid not, and with Sam like this, I'm not sure how long the earth will last let alone, he or Cas.”

“Why don't you go and see if you can help them, Michael?”

“There's more chance of you being able to help, you're the strongest and most powerful of all of us. Even combined we could hardly match.”

"Yes but you're strong yourself and smart with it too. Between you, you can figure it out. And once you know what it is I can come help, but right now Cas and my child need me. If I leave them for too long, i-"

"I understand Dean, I'll go, but I do think the solution lays with you, just like how Amara was the only one who could heal chuck."  
Dean appreciated this mellowed down version of the Michael he once knew. 

Dean knew it was true, he wanted to help Sam but, he knew he would have to leave Cas and his child and the thought of having to choose between them was tearing him apart.

"Cas… are you alright?." 

The angel looked weaker than he had ever seen him. 

"I want you to be ok.” Dean muttered.

“I will be, I’ve got you.” Cass affirmed

“What if I had to go do something for a bit, could you hold on and push through, are you strong enough?”

"Dean… what's wrong?" Cas knew him too well.

“It’s Sammy, there's something wrong with him."

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sam's hurt and you're with me?" 

"Yeah… why is that so shocking?" 

"Because you'd always drop everything and anything for Sam." Cas was right, but Dean knew Sam was being taken care of, and really Dean didn't want to be anywhere else other than at Cas’ side right now and not just because it was risky.  
Maybe if Sam was human he would have gone?

"Yes, but never you Cas, never again."

It came out like a promise, and Cas knew he meant it. 

Perhaps if he still had his human emotions he would be feeling more worried about the impending doom of the universe, but the fact was he wasn't human anymore, his feelings, what he had left of them were only centred around his family, more particularly Cas.  
He’d feel something resembling guilt but it faded as quickly as it appeared, he figured that was just who he was now. 

After all, he was the Darkness…

Before another word could be uttered, Dean was yanked out of Cas’ subconscious by Michael.

“Never do that again.” He warned.

“It’s important, you need to come help Sam.” Michael informed.

“Please hold on Cas.” Dean whispered to the angel before hesitantly leaving the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Also feel free to leave me any suggestions for improvement, I enjoy writing but it's one of my more average skills.
> 
> I should be posting fairly regularly, sometimes once a week, sometimes once every two weeks- depending on Uni.


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